Carseat meltdowns

[redneckhippy]

My son is 4 months old and he has started having meltdowns pretty much every time we go in the car. He used to be OK if I sat back with him, but now even that doesn't usually work. He is OK in his carseat if he's not in the car, but he just screams and screams, shaking and turning red and coughing. Eventually he will make himself hoarse and get a sore throat. This is especially bad if I have to drive somewhere by myself so can't sit in the back with him. We live in a rural area, so most of the time we have to travel at least 20+ minutes to get anywhere. If it gets too bad I will stop and try to comfort him, but he just starts screaming again as soon as we start again. I don't know what to do. I feel like we are doing "cry it out" in the car!! I don't want that.

 

[JenX]

Everyone I know who has had this issue has fixed it by moving their baby into a larger convertible seat, still rear-facing of course. I think some babies feel cramped or don't like the angle of the infant seats, or they can't see out of the car windows since they ride so low. In a convertible seat they are generally much happier.

 

[fides]

all of my kids were like this (in large rear-facing convertible, as well as the carrier infant type), just lasting different lengths of time. I just stayed home as much as possible. one of my babies has already outgrown this phase (huge blessing), but the other is still doing it at 7 1/2 months. I hate taking her anywhere.

Hang in there - I know they do grow out of it eventually.

 

[redneckhippy]

He usually seems OK in the car seat once we are out of the car. Do you think a convertible would still help?

Also I can handle the crying but my biggest worry is that letting him scream back there will have the same damaging effects of "cry it out" but we live in the country and so I have to drive places. However is allowing him to scream for 30-40 minutes harmful?

 

[JenX]

You could try a convertible seat- you'll need one eventually anyway. There no harm in trying. I wouldn't want to let him scream that long either.

 

[UponAStar]

My son has recently entered the "car seat meltdown phase", too. I feel horrible when it happens -- especially since some of the car rides we take are 2 hours long. In the few months he has been doing this, I've found two things that work (most of the time) for solo car trips: an interesting toy and playing/singing along to music he likes. Keeping his mind off of the car seat and onto something fun seems to be the key (in our case).

My son fights to be put into the car seat now, but, if I take extra time to play with a toy he likes -- making noises, make it seem really interesting, etc-- and then let him hold it for the for the strap in process and the car ride, sometimes that is enough for him not to cry for the entire time. I usually ask him about the toy and comment on it to try to keep it interesting.

Also -- I have a CD of children's music that I play whenever we are in the car. There have been several occasions where he has been crying and I've put on a song he really enjoys (with the volume temporarily turned up to get his attention) and then he instantly calms down. Singing along also seems to help.

I hope you find something that works for you and your son!

 

[HopefulEm]

I've had the same problem with DD, and as with what PP said, distraction has been the best solution when traveling without the car is not possible. New or favourite toys, sippy cups, and car friendly snacks are your best friend. Any public transport around?

 

[redneckhippy]

We live in the country so no public transport. I do try to give him toys which sometimes helps. He's too little for snacks still (4 months). We just bought a convertible car seat so hopefully that helps.

 

[summer2011]

Interested to hear if the convertible car seat works for you. Our almost 4 month old is in the melt down phase too. Doesn't matter if he's in the car seat in the car or in his stroller.

 

[redneckhippy]

Unfortunately it didn't. I do think he's more comfortable in the convertible but he still screams. It's very stressful and makes me just not want to go anywhere ( which is also depressing).

 

[gingmg]

I'm so sorry, I know how stressful it is. My son can be the same way and I always worry that we are "crying it out" in the car too. I end up crying right along with him. Now at 7 months he is better, but it still happens. Luckily, certain times a day are OK so I try to time outings carefully. I've found he really likes soothing classical music or he likes when i sing or talk to him. If those things dont work i pull over frequently if i have to.I hope it gets better for you soon, I know how awful it feels!

 

[tommyg]

Hugs that went on for me for about 2 months at the same stage. Things that helped were adding a mirror so I could see him, he could see forward, toys and I went through a phase of only getting in the car when I thought he would sleep. Not always successful.

 

[Chickensoup85]

My son is older, but when he is having a meltdown in the car, putting his nursery rhyme cd on stops him almost instantly. It must be so stressful for you. I hope you find something that helps soon.