Cheated

[Sambatiki]

Lost my LO on Saturday, and I can't help but feel cheated and guilty. Lo was unplanned but by no means unwanted. Feel like I had just got used to the little'un being around then stolen away from me. I am I wrong for feeling like this??

 

[charveyron]

you are not wrong for feeling like this, it's completely normal to feel this way, although you never met your baby, s/he was still your baby and you are still going to grieve.

It will get easier but it will take time, I'm very sorry for your loss

pm me if you want to chat

 

[Vickie]

You're not wrong at all, we all deal with loss in our own way. So sorry to hear of your loss.

 

[porkpie1981]

planned or unplanned u will feel upset!

All i can say is

 

[lauraperrysan]

The way you are feeling is completly normal. I had a miscarriage last Dec @ 6 weeks. Our pregnancy was unplanned but in no way unwanted. Once you adapt to being pregnant you start making plans for the future with your little one and when you loose a baby everything you thought was going to happen falls apart.
It's now 4 months on and I have just found out I am pregnant again (planned), it took me a good month to greive and find happiness again but it will get easier as time goes on. I am told there is an excellent chance of your next pregnany going full term although this will not stop how you are feeling it gives you some hope for the future.
So sorry for your loss. Look after yourself and it's ok to feel sad
xxxx

 

[Sweatpea24]

I'm So sorry for your loss! This poem helped me get through my miscarriage.



How do I say goodbye ... when I didn’t get to say hello?
I want so bad to keep you ... how do I let you go?
I have so many dreams, so much love I want to share
There’s nothing I can do ...why is life unfair?
You’re my perfect angel...I dreamed of you long ago
I never got to hold you but it breaks my heart to let you go
The pain and confusion I feel inside
I can not explain...I can not describe
God will rock you in your cradle and watch you as you sleep
I will love you in my heart ... it’s all I get to keep
you are blessed my child ... you’re in heaven up above
You’ll never be alone...you have Mommy & Daddy’s love
Hush my little baby...you need not ever cry
You were always wanted! I wish you didn’t die
You’ll be my sunshine in the daylight and the brightest star at night
Reach for God’s hand and go to the light
I would rather endure the pain of losing you right now
Then the thought of you suffering thru life...we’ll get thru somehow
I was blessed to have you briefly...even though I have to let you go
I wish I knew the reason but I guess I’ll never know

 

[bethyb]

the poem is lovely..
I have had two miscarriages. one this april and one in Nov and I feel very cheated. Its all part of coming to terms with things.
im sorry sweets xx

 

[Sweatpea24]

Sorry for your loss "Bethyb". May I ask how soon after you miscarried did you get your first period? I miscarried April 7,2008 at 9+ weeks and I been wondering when I'm going to get my first period.

 

[bethyb]

In Nov I had a erpc procedure and my period came a month after i stopped bleeding (5 wweks afterwards) this time i started spotting on the 4 april and miscarried natrurally on the 5 th. My period started on Monday morning. a lot of women tend to wait about 4-5 weeks for their period. not sure what my body is doing!

 

[bethyb]

btw I was just short of 7 weeks, - 6 weeks 6 days and both were missed m/c. I should have been 8 weeks gone when i miscarried this time. Heartbraking too cuz i saw babbas heartbeat. Still my period means i can start to think about getting back on the rollercoaster

 

[Sweatpea24]

I had a ultrasound April 1st because I started spotting and I also saw a heartbeat then I miscarried on the 7th. My husband and I haven't been using protection but now i kinda regret it because I wouldn't even know if I'm pregnant again since i haven't had a period since the miscarriage. Good Luck with TTC! Maybe we both will get a a HUGE POSITIVE soon.

 

[Sambatiki]

Hi all,
Thanks so much for all your kind words and poems! My wonderful fiance has been a rock, but some how its nice to know that how I am feeling right now is 'normal'. I hope that I can return the favour and offer all the support I can to those who need a friend. Sometimes it takes to listen to those who have been there themselves.

Thinking of you all in these horrible times. xxxx Kerry

 

[bethyb]

Kerry,
anytime u need to rant or just talk about it we are here. helps us to talk about it too!

 

[Sambatiki]

Thank you to you all who have said some lovely things to reassure that Im quite a normal person! Went to the drs today who said that we should wait for 3 periods b4 we start trying again. But feel quite nervous about ttc again Im sure it'll be fine but you know who it is..... Just don't want to be disappointed BIG FAT HUGS to you all!! x

 

[bethyb]

my period is here with avengence... cant wait for my next bfp, hopefully we will get a sticky baby sometime soon. xxx

 

[golcarlilly]

Hi hope you are feeling ok today? Just wanted to say, my midwife told me she had been to a conference on miscarriage and although there is a lot of discussion about how long to wait to try these days, the general opinion at the conference (which gave case studies etc...) was that there is no need to wait beyond the time you stop bleeding, she said that most people do wait for their first AF but simply for working out dates.