Cheated!!

Discussion in 'Second Trimester Losses' started by Alauras, Nov 17, 2011.

  1. Alauras

    Alauras New Member

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    Hit me hard today.....I should be 30 weeks pregNant!! My little angels was 20 weeks and 3 days when I lost him. I treasure the few hours he lived and breathed and I held him and felt his precious heart beating, but I can't help but feel cheated. The world hasn't stopped because I lost my baby but my world has why does it feel like everyone has forgotten his tiny life already :shrug:
     
  2. blav

    blav 2 angels and TTC

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    I think so many people just don't know how to react or what to say. It leaves them either saying nothing or saying something weird. I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. Even those who know your pain, still can't say anything to make it better. :hugs:
     
  3. Andypanda6570

    Andypanda6570 3 Boys and an Angel Ava

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    You have not forgotten I have not forgotten we all have and never will forget :cry::cry::cry::cry: People have no idea of this pain and no idea that it lasts forever and sometimes i think they feel we are over it or it is better not to discuss it:cry: I believe in my heart there are more good people in this world than bad, I do believe that, but this loss only a mother could know.
    My heart breaks for you and I am so deeply sorry for your loss . I am here for you always , we all are. You can talk about it anytime and trust me we will never forget.. XOOXXO Andrea :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  4. Hellylou

    Hellylou Mum to 3 and 1 Angel

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    I'm sorry you're feeling rough today. We're all here for you. :hugs:

    You will never forget your little one, and you will keep his memory alive for the rest of your life. I went out for a coffee with a friend yesterday and told her what had happened - I hadn't seen her properly in ages. Turns out she lost a baby boy too at 20 weeks, and that was 18 years ago. She said she had just commemorated what would have been his 18th birthday recently. She and her husband opened a bottle of champagne and raised a toast to their little boy. She said she talks to him still. She went on to have 3 children. That gave me such hope in so many ways - she has kept her lost baby as part of her life all this time - he's with her always.

    I don't know if this will be any help to you but I found it very comforting. :hugs:
     
  5. KamIAm

    KamIAm BnB Addict!

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    Hi Sweetie... Yes, i does seem completely unfair that when our world has been turned up side down and torn apart that they rest of the world just seems to go on with their normal business... It's rough... I struggled with that a LOT in the beginning and still have my moments with that now... I just include my Emma in my daily life, I feel if I do that then she can't be forgotten or over looked... She is included in my daily talk, my daily functions, holidays, anything and everything... She is my child as well as my other living chilren, so different except she doesn't live here...:flower:

    My motto I say almost on a daily basis.... "Forever Loved, Never Forgotten" .... I live by that lil motto :flower:

    Sending loves and cuddles your way.... :hugs:
     
  6. mhazzab

    mhazzab Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry, I often feel the same - how can the world keep going on when mine has been pulled apart?

    You will never forget him. Do whatever you have to, to keep his memory alive for yourself, and in others. I often talk about my daughters, I don't care whether other people are uncomfortable, they can either get used to it, or find a new friend.
    I also like to do bits and bobs as memorials - roses in the garden, a piece of jewellery, or a new find (thanks to Collie_crazy!) I will have their names written in the sand beside a christmas tree, (by CarlyMarie) which I will proudly display with my other decorations.

    xxx
     
  7. mhazzab

    mhazzab Well-Known Member

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    this is a big comfort to me...I don't want to spend my whole life in pieces because of what happened, but, at the same time, I never want to forget my beautiful girls, it's nice to know that it is possible to have a balance. thanks for sharing the story xxx
     
  8. SabrinaKat

    SabrinaKat Delighted Mum to Finn

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    I'm expecting the little brother to the one I lost to mc two years ago, and I think of the lost one alot...it's hard, especially when people ask me, ' is it my first', and I want to scream out; 'No!', but the lost little one is up with my beloved FIL, who passed away last year, so it may only be me and my husband that remember, BUT we'll always remember...

    best wishes
     
  9. Nikki_d72

    Nikki_d72 Mum to 2 + twin angels

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    I know how hard it is when the world just keeps turning and everyone else seems to go back to their daily lives when ours are torn apart. Even me going back to my daily life hurts, as I'm still carrying this around with me but have to act like I'm fine most of the time.

    Helly, thanks for sharing that story, I too find it comforting, I think others expect that one day we'll be "back to normal" and all will be fine with us again, especially if we have another baby, it's like they think that will be it all finished but we will never forget, and why would we want to? This was an awful event in our lives, yes. But these are our children, we can't just sweep them under the rug and forget about them because it's easier!

    I'm sorry again for your loss, Alauras and I'm sorry you are having a rough time. We will remember your angel with you. xxx
     
  10. Vickieh1981

    Vickieh1981 Missing my precious girly

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    It is horrible, that feeling that everyone else is just marching along with their life and forgetting.

    The reality is that they haven't forgotten your little one but that for everyone else life goes on and they don't realise that for us life will never be the same.

    I remember being in the funeral home seeing people going shopping and feeling really indignant - how dare their lives be the same when my heart was ripped out.

    I think after a while you end up with a quiet acceptance that others don't mention your baby. My family mostly forgot her birthday but all my friends who have lost babies remembered - shows who knows it is more important.

    :hugs:
     

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