Choosing to have Twins?

[Phantom710]

I am in the process of becoming a surrogate. In fact, I got my box-o-meds yesterday.

The parents, as well as the agency we're using, pretty much lets the Surro say how many embryos get transferred.

I have said I will not carry triplets (I feel it adds to much risk to the babies and myself).

I've really been thinking about twins. I would love to give them twins, but I've heard the pregnancies are harder than regular.

Size wise, I had an almost 9lb baby and a HUGEEEEEE stomach with my own, so I'm not concerned that way.

My questions to all of you--- judging by current/past twins pregnancies. Would you CHOOSE to have twins, or do you think the pregnancy would have been easier/better with just the one? Were you put on bed rest? And finally, what week did they arrive?

My transfer is set for 9/21, so I have a little bit to think.

 

[san fran shan]

This is a really interesting question! I think it is so great you are being a surrogate for deserving couple. Its hard for me to say at this stage of pregnancy if I would choose twins. I also don't have a singleton pregnancy to compare this to. If you chose two to transfer, then they would be fraternal which carries lower risk. With twins you do get bigger faster and it looks like you have a little one to care for as it is, so you want to make sure you are able to look after his/her needs.

All that being said, you know yourself and your body the best! And you will be giving an amazing gift to this couple whether its one or two. And some of the stress and worry you wont have to deal with, like all the stuff twins need, or daycare for twins, etc.

 

[jogami]

Tbh my singleton pregnancy was fraught with problems and this pregnancy has by far been the easier of the two surprisingly - SO FAR! I say that as i still have about 16 weeks to go but I hope it stays this way. Im expecting to get much bigger but i hope thats the worst comparison!

Wonderful thing you're doing! I will also be surroing for very good frends in a year and a halfs time, they've had 6 failed ivf's. I've given them the option of one or 2 eggs maximum. The gift of life is the best gift you could ever give x

 

[Phantom710]

Thanks Girls!!!

I am lucky as far as I have a desk job, so I SHOULD be able to continue working.

san-- I do have my son to think about as well, luckily I have DH, but I have thought about running after a toddler 8 months pregnant with twins! haha! I know they will be happy with whatever they get, but I know they also would love twins. Plus side is, as you said-- I don't have all the post delivery twin worries

jog- How great! Your friends must be thrilled. The couple I am with also had 6 failed ones. They have 6 frozen embies left and have turned to surrogacy.

Also-- congrats to both of you and good luck for the remainder of your pregnancy!

 

[Cabbage]

Wow! What a generous thing to do!

Well, I had a singleton last year; that pregnancy was a piece of cake and I was active - very active, until the day I was induced. I relaxed during that pregnancy also once I passed the first trimester.

This twin pregnancy has me worried about lots and so far I have been totally knackered and have to sit down often when I am out and about doing things. I am uncomfortable too, which is strange as I am only 15+ weeks!!! As another poster said, if you do fall pregnant with twins, they are more likely to be fraternal, so you wouldn't have the worries I have (TTTS & Growth issues due to sharing a placenta)...

But it could go either way for you as whatever pregnancy you have is going to be different to the last and hard to predict, regardless of whether it would be a twin pregnancy or singleton.

Good luck, you deserve a happy and healthy pregnancy

 

[jackie2012]

First of all what a wonderful selfless thing you are doing. there are so many people out there who want children but can't. I don't think i would be mentally strong enough to be able to do it.

i have had three simple single pregnancies no complications, worked until the day i gave birth.

with this one from day one until about 12 weeks i had horrible morning sickness and extreme exhaustion. The exhaustion was to the point i had to end up taking 3 weeks off from work and bring someone in to do the housework and prep meals for the kids. I would sleep for 14 hr a night and have two naps and would still be so drained it was an effort to even get dressed. not very ideal with three kids.

now the exhaustion has lifted quite a bit but my low blood pressure is exaggerated by the pregnancy i have to be on 8 different supplements i have slightly high blood sugar (issues had i known from earlier on i was having twins probably could have been prevented) also now i have had to cut a lot of my activities back even just mopping the floors takes a few hrs because i have to take lots of breaks and do things slowly or else i get really bad braxton hicks and extremely dizzy. and it can be very uncomfortable some days depending how they are laying and as they get bigger it seems to be getting worse.

At work i have a desk job i have to make sure i get up a moving every so often and have my put up or i swell up really bad from sitting too long. and this time instead of working until i go into labor i can see i will have to go off a bit early just the commute in and physically going in exhaust me i have already had to cut my work load in half. lol by mid afternoon i am falling asleep at my desk. luckily i have a wonderful employer who is very understanding.

as a mother you know the worry that comes along with a pregnancy i can't see that being different even though you would be carrying for someone else Foe me the worries have more than doubled.

i don't want to scare you or anything this is just how my body is reacting and every person is different.

I don't know if i would have chosen a twin pregnancy mine happened natural and unplanned. Given the choice in the beginning i probably would have chose a single pregnancy but that's with weighting in the after factors of caring for two also. That being said i wouldn't change anything now and feel blessed to have two babies on the way and can't wait to have both of them in my arms and am willing to do what i need and put up with whatever comes to get there.

 

[Phantom710]

Thanks Cabbage! I know every pregnancy is different. I'm just trying to get a feel of the general post-delivery thought.

 

[wondertwins]

I wont' lie. Once you pass the 30 week mark of a twin pregnancy, it can be pretty grueling. However, I found that all the discomfort I felt was met with an equal amount of sympathy from friends, co-workers and family who stepped up to help out with little things. It's definitely worth it though, and I thought the delivery itself was much easier than my singleton.

For whatever it's worth... I have a cousin who gave birth to twins with the help of donor eggs. She had struggled with infertility for a long time, so after her twins were a couple years old, she really wanted to pay it forward by serving as a surrogate for a friend of hers. The surrogacy was a singleton pregnancy, so she thought she'd have it easy the second time around. Joke was on her as the singleton ended up being a 10 pound chubster.

EDIT TO ADD... I thought the post delivery was easier with my twins than my singleton too.

 

[Phantom710]

jackie- thanks for your honest recount I appreciate it.

wonder-- thanks! I keep telling myself that if i can carry a nine pounder i can carry two 5 pounders. haha! Can I ask, did you do a c-section or natural?

 

[wondertwins]

wonder-- thanks! I keep telling myself that if i can carry a nine pounder i can carry two 5 pounders. haha! Can I ask, did you do a c-section or natural?

Vaginal with my singleton and c-section with the twins. I had a lot of tearing with the singleton which is why the healing took so long. The c was tough, but still easier.

 

[lizziedripping]

Hey Hun and kudos to you for doing such a lovely thing

My twin pregnancy experience was definitely harder physically than my singleton, but I still loved being pregnant. moving around after 28wks was tough, and I was on bed rest due to incompetent cervix (something which you don't have to worry about). Twin pregnancy does carry added risks tho, which definitely shouldn't be ignored, and successfully carrying one baby doesn't necessarily mean that two will be easy or comparable. That said, you sound switched on, are aware of the possible risks and there is nothing to say that you won't make it to term with ease.

Despite my complications, and the odds being stacked firmly against me, I still got to my planned section at 38wks. I can't say tho that it was easy, and meant I spent lots of time resting. A word of warning too, my first singleton was also 9Ibs at 39wks, but my twins were 9 and 8Ibs, not 5Ibs each lol. Having larger singletons means you'll probably have twins weighing atleast 6/7Ibs - manageable, but physically hard in those last weeks.

Good luck with your journey honey xxx

 

[Phantom710]

thanks so much! you all are super helpful

 

[arj]

It's not fun the old twin pregnancy but it does go quickly and is definitely soooo much more exciting than a singlton pregnancy, and its a real experience that not many woman will ever get. It is painful tho, on the back and the weight gain sucks, and heartburn etc.

It is a lot more risky of miscarriage tho, and prem labor. My singletons were late 9lbs, and went full term, I grow them well! But my twins grew big too and ran out of room at 35 weeks, 6lb7 and 6lb4. They were in NICU for 2 weeks. Thats something the parents really need to think about.
If you had a large baby then there is a chance that will happen, but then again if genetics come into play then the babies might be smaller if the bio parents make small babies.

Also, there is the chance that both blastocysts wont take. So implanting two embryos will boost the chances of a pregnancy, but then if they both take then the risks increase.