Can I please join? I would really like to be apart of a thread like this
I love my other bnb sisters but we mostly just talk about labor and pregnancy and not anything else.
I am a Christian, and I love my Lord SO much. I've been going through a whirlwind in my heart and mind though. I am originally from Minnesota. I was baptized a Lutheran as a baby, went to a non-denominational church growing up. Fell away as a teen and young adult and did many, many sinful things, but of course I found my savior again. Praise be to God! I now live in Utah with my husband. It's very hard to fit in because everyone here is Latter-Day Saint, which is very different from Orthodox Christianity. While I don't condemn my fellow Mormon sisters, I feel so left out. It's apart of the culture here, and I feel like it is hard to relate to others. I have been here since May of 2011, and I am incredibly lonely.
I am starting to beg my husband for us to move to a different state. Utah is GORGEOUS no doubt, and I am in total awe of God's creation for us. The mountains are beautiful. I wouldn't mind being friends with other LDS woman, but it's hard to meet them since I am a stay at home mother and they tend to stick within those who are religiously like-minded. There are non-LDS/orthodox mainstream Christian churches here, but I've had SUCH a hard time finding one. A lot of them are somewhat of a drive away.
We were attending a Lutheran church here in the Salt Lake valley, and we liked it but have decided that church wasn't for us. My husband and I TTC for three months last fall and I got a positive in October. I had a 2nd trimester loss of a little boy in January, and I remember calling the pastor after I found out to receive prayer and comfort from our Lord. I went to church a few times after, and I just sat in the pew and bawled. I remember telling myself NOT to cry because I was in public, but it felt "safe" doing so in the house of the Lord. I also went up to receive prayer for Jesus to heal me emotionally. I had a D&E (more extensive than a D&C), and something went terribly wrong during the procedure. I lost 3 liters of blood, ended up having five blood transfusions, and all my levels were VERY low (ie: Iron was down to a level 2) We were than told from the pathology report that our son was healthy, but something was wrong with the umbilical cord. Nobody from the Lutheran church called me to ask how I was doing, if I needed anything, or to even pray for me. I don't mean to come off as "me, me, me" but I figured church was to help and support those in time of need. Nobody knows the love I would of felt if one person had came over, or even called to tell me that loved me and was sorry for my loss. When I brought this up to someone (I mentioned my loss to the childhood education director fishing for an answer as to if anyone cared about me) and she goes "I know, we prayed for you during our weekly church meeting". My heart sank. All the leaders knew. And, while I appreciate prayer (I really do! Please don't get me wrong) That didn't make me feel better when my husband and I were crying together in our bed. I guess I was just hurt. After months of not attending, one of the pastors just recently called me to "check up on us". He didn't come out right and ask why we haven't attended but I got the feeling that is why he was calling me. I guess I should of been honest because sometimes people get so caught up in their own lives they forget the love and service we are supposed to give to one another during hard times, but I just didn't have the heart. I felt like maybe it would come off as rude and needy?
We have tried other churches, and while people are kind, sweet and friendly, they are somewhat of a jont to drive and not really a good fit.
I have no idea where I belong anymore. (Church and denomination wise) and feeling somewhat religiously isolated has really put a strain on my relationship with the Lord. Not that I don't believe or anything like that - but it's more of a feeling of my connection with him is straining, if that makes sense?
A Christian woman from another church heard the news, (whom I knew outside of the church setting) came over a few days after our loss and prayed with us, and made my husband and I am AWESOME dinner and also brought over food that she made for us to eat the follow night. I was so touched that she loved me and cared enough about us to drive a good half hour south to do that for us. So sweet.
I really hope nobody takes what I said in the wrong way, or thinks I am over reacting. I guess I've needed a group of Christian woman to talk too since I feel so lonely.
I am now pregnant again (this one was a delightful surprise, LOL ) so I've got my fingers crossed that this is a sticky beanie.
Thanks for reading this ladies!
God Bless you all.
Thankyou so much sis,I feel so comforted and peaceful that prayer meant alot to me.
