Co-sleeping in a queen-sized bed with memory foam mattress...

[EarthMama]

Now that I've got the cloth diaper thing figured out (for now) I'm moving onto the next thing...co-sleeping.

We have a queen sized memory foam mattress. It's not like super-duper soft, but it is soft. It gently gives to your body at all the pressure points. We originally got this mattress because I can't sleep on firm beds or beds with coils. I'm a very light sleeper.

I doubt we can get rid of our bed and replace the mattress in time for the baby. So I was just wondering how I could co-sleep safely in this bed...I heard memory foam beds weren't recommended for co-sleeping.

My plan is to just dress warmly and wear only a bathrobe for sleep if there's a cooler night, and not to use any blankets on my side of the bed. I figure I could sleep with the baby in the crook of my arm to support him. We'll be on the side of the bed that's against the wall, or sleeping opposite from my husband, our heads by his feet. My husband never moves at all when he sleeps.

What do you guys think? Doable?

 

[Rachel_C]

We have a memory foam mattress but I won't sleep on it with LO until she can roll confidently all ways. When I lie next to her, she is pulled towards me. That's fine if she's on her back but when she's on her side it pulls her face forward against me or into the mattress which I don't feel is safe. It can be done, I suppose if you had LO on your arm but that doesn't suit me or my LO as I can't feed from both boobs like that and she likes to wriggle away from me a bit when she's asleep. I have slept on it once or twice when the spare bed was needed for a guest but I had to make sure I stayed alert until she finished her feed so I could lie her on her back safely. Normally she feeds until we're both asleep so I was really tired the next day! I've tried a side car cot arrangement but our mattress squishes down more than the cot's and created a bit gap between our beds which was even less safe. I ended up sleeping with my top half in her cot with her - not very comfy and I'm not sure the cot was very happy about it!

 

[EarthMama]

Hmm. How can I make the situation safer for a young baby? Maybe find a way to firm up the side of the bed where we are laying? I've got one of those bed co-sleeper things that you put in bed with you. Though it will only work for a short time. I really want to co-sleep though. I would like physical contact with my baby at all times.

 

[Sew_Sweet]

I'd suggest getting a rail guard right away. I wish I had gotten one with my first. We coslept ALL The time - but Hubby was in Iraq so it was just me and her in the bed. It only really became a problem when she was big enough to crawl! That's when you need to take extra extra precautions. One morning she crawled right off of the bed . Scared me to death but she was fine thank goodness.

Anyway with the guard rail you could sleep with baby towards the guard rail. I've seen guard rails with mesh and whanot so it's not like a rail rail. You know? Of course if hubby doesn't move much in his sleep she might be ok in the middle. You just have to be really aware of where your pillows are as well. I was always paranoid (and still am) about pillows. I wouldn't advise sleeping next to the wall with baby. There's the chance that the bed could slide or they could somehow become trapped between the wall and the bed. Too risky I think.

I will be cosleeping a LITTLE with this baby but not as much as DD. I wish we had a king sized bed! Then maybe i would. Instead I have a pack-n-play with bassinet that I am placing right next to our bed. I imagine my hand will be in that thing all night long. I remember waking up COUNTLESS times just to check if baby is breathing (why do we all do this? i still do this with DD7 lol). At least if baby is right there you can do it quickly without getting out of bed. If my baby had been in another room I never would get any sleep lol.

 

[Rachel_C]

Hmm. How can I make the situation safer for a young baby? Maybe find a way to firm up the side of the bed where we are laying? I've got one of those bed co-sleeper things that you put in bed with you. Though it will only work for a short time. I really want to co-sleep though. I would like physical contact with my baby at all times.

I've been looking for ages and the only real solution I've come up with is just to buy a cheap sprung mattress I'm afraid and wait until LO can roll well to use the memory foam. Or, and this is what I plan to do when we move, instead of having a cot sidecarred to the double bed I will have a single bed there (it's actually a day bed, so has proper sides on one side and at the end, it's where we co-sleep now). On the single bed we will have a sprung mattress so it's safe for LO to sleep on. OH will be in the double bed and I will be between them, or probably more over into the single bed. It'll be just like having a cot there but safer for me to put my weight in!!!

I have looked for mattress toppers and stuff but they are generally the wrong way round - I want something to essentially make the bed LESS comfortable but they're all memory foam to add to an uncomfortable mattress!

 

[EarthMama]

I've been thinking about it more and doing research on google. Seems like not all foam mattresses are equal. I think mine is firmer then most. Seems like there are a lot of women who still manage to co-sleep with young babies on memory foam, they say the baby doesn't make a dent. I don't make a dent in my bad, it just gives under my weight slightly to support pressure points.

But I want to do things extra-safe. I like the idea of bringing in a smaller mattress. I was even thinking just getting a regular crib-sized mattress and putting that in bed with me and putting the baby on that. I'll keep thinking about it.

 

[_Mouse_]

what about something like this?

Summer Infant Rest Assured Sleeper

 

[blessedmomma]

i have co-slept with all five of mine and will with this one too. we got a memory foam mattress a year ago and have used it to co-sleep with 2 of ours so far. mine must be one of the firmer ones baby doesnt roll into me or anything. we havent used a frame with our bed for years so its on the floor, maybe that makes it firmer?? i think its a 14 inch high one, maybe a little higher.

 

[Kashmir]

I'm in a similiar dilema. My LO is 10 days old and doesn't sleep very well without me or my DH holding/laying next to him. We have a bassinet next to my side of the bed, but he'll only sleep there for at most an hour before getting fussy. We have a fairly firm memory foam topper, but i'm so paranoid about sleeping next to him and something happening- not that I think I'll roll onto him (it really is true that you become hyper aware of your LO!) but just that 'something' will happen. So I've resorted to sleeping sitting partially upright with a warm top, sheet tucked firmly in at my hips and LO sleeping on his back, chest, or side on my chest with a Boppy to support my arms while I hold him. Not the most comfortable, but the only way I seem to be able to get any rest- if he's in his bassinet I'm constantly checking that he's breathing or trying to get him to go back to sleep, if he's next to me I wake up every 10-15 minutes to make sure he's safe. I knew very little about bedsharing before he was born, so I'm still trying to figure out how to keep him safe and make sure we all get a good night's rest.
We thought about side carring his crib, but he needs to be touching/laying on us to get any sleep, but here is how one family did it:

https://www.freewebs.com/sidecarcrib/

 

[Torz]

I didnt even know that co-sleeping on a memory foam matteress was a no-no.

 

[EarthMama]

I think my mattress is pretty firm for memory foam from what I am reading about online. It's right on the floor so it's stabilized all the way across. I was checking it out today and it doesn't give much with my weight at all. Just with the pressure points. I dunno what we'll do yet. I really do not think it will be much of a problem at all to co-sleep in this bed. But we'll have to see.