Co-sleeping - losing nerve baby will learn self settling

[sarah_c]

Hi,

I co-sleep at night with Lotte who is four months and we breastfeed every 1-2 hours from 1am to 6am. She normally sleeps with me downstairs in the evening whilst I watch TV and then comes to bed at 10pm and has a feed to sleep.The last couple of evenings I cannot get her to settle in the evening on me, in the sling or in the cot upstairs. She only goes to sleep when I go to bed with her and feed her to sleep.

During the day for naps I rock her to sleep in my arms then either she goes down in a cot or if she wont I hold her or put her in the sling for a nap.

I have always believed that when she is ready she will learn to self settle and sleep alone. I guess I'm just having a wobble with the last few evenings and wondering if she will learn this herself or will I have to use one of these horrid sleep training techniques?

What sort of age do they learn to self settle?

She will be in nursery around 9 months of age so she needs to be more self reliant by then.

Thanks for replies and any reassurance you can offer

Sarah

 

[wishingonastar]

isabel co-slept about 70% of time in her first months and insisted on being rocked to sleep and held for all naps. our turning point was when she learnt to suck her thumb aged about 4 months and would sleep alone after being rocked to sleep, then gradually she fell asleep from awake by sucking thumb (around 5ish months i think) and she then nearly always slept in basket before going into own room at 6 months.

emily co-sleeps and must be held virtually all her waking and sleeping moments in the day, but i am confident in a few months i'll be able to transition her to basket more by using aids like comforter

 

[sarah_c]

Lotte has found her thumb recently and now goes to sleep a lot easier but still likes to be in our arms.

Thanks for reassurance I will carry on and let her find her own way

Sarah

 

[Aunty E]

Teddy sleeps in our sidecar crib until his first feed in the morning (around 5-6am) and then stays in bed with me. He self settles handily if he's not hungry with the aid of his mobile - I stick it on whenever I put him to bed, and it's a useful sleep cue for him. We did pretty much the same thing with Imogen, who sleeps really well.

 

[lovealittle1]

Sounds like my LO. We cosleep and I used to always go to bed when he did but lately I have been trying to get him down earlier (around 7) but I don't want to go to bed that early so I have the baby monitor set up and carefully sneak away but he will only last 10-20 minutes without me in bed.

 

[Sam292]

Teddy sleeps in our sidecar crib until his first feed in the morning (around 5-6am) and then stays in bed with me. He self settles handily if he's not hungry with the aid of his mobile - I stick it on whenever I put him to bed, and it's a useful sleep cue for him. We did pretty much the same thing with Imogen, who sleeps really well.

Do you put him down awake or feed to sleep first? x

 

[Aunty E]

I put him down without feeding if he's quiet. If he's rooting then I feed him, but he never goes down asleep (apart from the one time he had calpol after his jabs and slept for hours). I doubt I could actually transfer him still asleep even if I tried, he wakes whenever I move him. The mobile really soothes him.

 

[sarah_c]

I normally try to put her down awake but tonight I have fed her to sleep. Fingers crossed she stays asleep until my bedtime

 

[misspeach24]

You could try giving the last feed in the bed together and then after she's popped off, leave the room (given that your bed is safe and she cant roll out). If she cries, go back, and settle her again, lie in the bed with her then when she falls alsleep leave the room...again. Later you could settle her in her own bed if you want to. Hope this helps. I use a dummy with mine, and it really helps.

 

[mrsraggle]

Eloïse never self settled... until this week (almost 13 months old)!. We've always helped her, by feeding her or rocking/walking. In the end this week, DH was walking to her sleep and she started reaching out for her cot.. so he put her in. We've had three days where she's whinged herself to sleep (not cried) and then tonight I popped her in and she just fell off to sleep without a single whimper.

They do self settle when they're ready - I suppose you have to be prepared that for some babies this takes much longer than others!

Also, Eloïse attended nursery from 9 months of age. She actually settles totally differently for nursery than she did for me, so don't worry about that - they'll find their own routine and ways at daycare.

 

[sarah_c]

Thanks so much for that. I think it was having nursery in the back of my mind that was worrying me. If she didn't have to go into nursery then I would worry how long it took her.

I put her in our bed last night (its set up so she can't roll out) at 7.30pm and fed her to sleep. I had to go back in a few times as she woke up so eventually I went to bed with her at 8.30pm and she slept well. So for the first time in ages she has had about 12 hours sleep.

I don't know why she wakes so often when she is on her own.