Co-Workers... oh how little you know!

[christinajump]

I had a rough day today. Very emotional.... Though I can't blame it those I work with, I blame it on those I work with. I don't know if it isike this in most places of employment, as I've only really known the military.

But as soon as I got married everyone asks me when is the baby due... I've been ttc for two years, trust me I'd like to know when its due as well...

But one guy tore me down today. He's expecting and asked when I'm going to have one. I said I won't be and he taunted "Why not? Your best friend is pregnant."

I almost started crying right there. Does anyone understand where I'm coming from here?

 

[Little_Ratbag]

This is very insensitive of him, and I completely understand where you are coming from. I have a child, and everyone forever asks me when we are going to have another, I just tell them 'whenever the baby fairies are kind to us' this usually shuts them up. What fert. treatment are you using? Fingers crossed it won't be too long before your little angel arrives on this earth

 

[hopingforit]

I think it's extremely insensitive of him to ask like that. I think most people don't think that there are people out there who are having fertility issues. We know how it is because of the length of time we have been TTC and would never dare ask anyone when they will be getting pregnant, but growing up, we are told that TTC is easy. So, for people who it does come easy to, I think they just can't understand or don't think that it could be hard for someone else iykwim?

 

[LemonZest]

A very straight forward but casual, "We can't have kids," followed by a subject change will work wonders for you. When I started getting teased, I joked, "Oh trust me, if I'd known I couldn't have kids, I'd have gotten knocked up in college!" It got a big laugh, but the message was conveyed loud and clear. There have been plent of baby/grandbaby announcements and conversations in the office since then, but no one turns the spotlight on me anymore to pry about when I'll have one.

 

[aimze]

Its the same with family too...i went to a party an was asked where my bump was several times!i would love a bump!!!!!

people just don't think. This whole process has made me more aware to be A lot more tactful with those i don't know too well. You just don't know what someone else is goin through!
Keep your chin up!

X

 

[wonderstars]

I wanted to say men are such insensitive jerks but I think when it comes to ttc, women are just as tactless. I can't believe he said that!

I have started to say that we may try next year but we have a few big things we want to do this year so it's not the right time. It's been surprisingly effective!

people just don't think. This whole process has made me more aware to be A lot more tactful with those i don't know too well. You just don't know what someone else is goin through!
Keep your chin up!

X

I agree so much with this! I have stopped myself many times for asking about pregnancy whereas I the past that wouldn't have been the case.

 

[christinajump]

See another thing is I really am not comfortable letting people know I'm having problems with it. But you can't just say you're waiting to try. People in the military have this idea you can not get married if babies aren't in some way involved. Either you're already pregnant or trying to get pregnant. Hence why he kept pushing it (my best friends baby was a honey moon baby).

I do find that I am a bit more considerate now then I would have been before. People never really know what's going on with everyone.

 

[rosebud_01_99]

ive been ttc 16yrs nw,and have heard all the insentive comments over the yrs, now i just say i want to have a life and not have to run around after some screaming demanding kid, then i say to them i dont know hw they can b bothered with all the hassel. usually ends that conversation lol, rosebud