colleagues after MC

[Blondish_keg]

Hi ladies,

Last month I was pregnant and told only my boss and wasn't ready to share with the rest of the people I work with. Later that week I miscarried and by a clerical error all of my colleagues now know of the mc.

I am quite new to the job and I am quite a private person and although the rational part of my brain is touched they care, They are, please excuse the phrase, killing me with kindness! I would rather they knew nothing of the entire thing.

I was just wondering if anyone else has had similar issues at work?
How do you deal then with continuing to TTC without an audience (not literally ! )

 

[Cattia]

I actually told my department at work what had happened, even though I hadn't told them I was pregnant as I was only 8 weeks when I mc. I was off work for two days and one of them was my birthday. I didn't want all the jokes about skipping work on my birthday as I just wasn't in the mood. They were all very understateding. They didn't say that much to me but I got a lot of supportive texts. I felt it made the whole thing a lot easier than trying to hide it and carry on as normal. The trouble is now they all know I want another child which I would rather have kept quiet but it's not that big a problem. I have been in my job ten years though so I imagine it's different if you don't know the people as well. I'm sorry for your loss Xx

 

[Literati_Love]

I had a couple co-workers find out and had the opposite problem of them just not really caring and ignoring the problem altogether. One was pregnant and really rubbed her pregnancy in my face a lot which hurt a lot (I don't think she meant to,but she wasn't being sensitive at all). My boss also knew because I took a few days off work after my vacation ended (I miscarried on my one week of summer holidays and right after my birthday). I found it a bit stressful with people knowing I was TTC, but I found that people didn't really say much and I just tried to ignore my embarrassment of people knowing ( I am a very private person as well) and just carried on. When I got pregnant again, I waited til I was 16 weeks to tell anyone and I still think people were surprised! good luck and I hope your co-workers can let you grieve and move on in peace soon.

 

[Blondish_keg]

Thank you ladies. It's so nice to get replies and it helps to be reminded I'm not the only person to experience this. Literati_Love it sounds like you had a horrible time of it, I feel guilty for complaining about a bit of kindness now

I think that maybe that I went back to work too soon and what I needed to give myself more time.The nature of my job means family is a constant conversation and I think I will just have to get used to it!

I know there will be a new drama to gossip about soon and people shall get back to their own lives and stop wondering about mine

We are back on the TTC train and feeling quietly hopeful that the re emergence of symptoms is not just all in my head! I have no idea when I should re test - time will tell I guess