Comments from others after your BFP?

[Sweetpea70]

I know to expect a lot of comments from people once DH and I get lucky enough to get a BFP and I also know my Dad will probably be mad.....

I have one son, and my DH has his 2 sons, who he has custody of....so there are 3 boys here already under the age of 13....but I want one more of my own...just as DH wants a baby with me (which I also want a baby with him)

I know everyone is going to think we're nuts and that we already have enough to deal with...but that's just not fair when I have only had one.....funny thing too is that my Dad knew DH before me and he also knows DH had a vasetomy after his 2nd son, so of course he's gonna wonder how in the world we got pregnant...............ughh...so much for privacy on that note!

So................anyone else here know their family and friends will be talking behind their back?? Anyone here gonna be the same boat as me??

(forgot to throw in there that I am currently 41.................how in the world I am that old already is beyond me)

 

[dachsundmom]

The only feelings that matter are your's and your partner's.

 

[crystal443]

Exactly what Dmom said It really only matters what you and DH think..your choice, your life.

 

[Indigo77]

It's none of their business.....

 

[cebethel]

Yep, heard ALL the comments.....

Altho, no one in my family knows yet. I'm beginning to think maybe they shouldn't?

 

[Macwooly]

I agree with the others that it is no one else business. If you want another child and feel you can cope with another child then why not.

Please try not to let worry about what people may or may not say affect you

 

[future_numan]

I expected the worst after I got pregnant with Emily from my parents.
I had a TL years ago.
OH and I decided we wanted a child ( or two) together since this is both a second marriage for us.
I secretly had a TR and spent about 13 months TTC before we turned to IUI.
We didn't tell either of our family's till I was 14 weeks along.. and surprisingly they were all understanding and excited.. so goes to show you that maybe it isn't as bad as ecpected.. besides.. we are now adults and not teenagers so why worry what our parents have to say or think..

 

[BlueHadeda]

Oh, I'm VERY nervous about telling my family and some friends. At the moment, only my 2 best friends and sister know that we're TTC. My sister's first words were "oh No!". Encouraging, hey? Don't know why I told her. And her reaction is definitely mild comparing to what some other family members will have to say. They were all already VERY vocal and somewhat negative when we got pregnant with our 3rd child. I don't even feel like telling anyone when we get that BFP. They could just see for themselves when I get big. Will it be very wrong to mention a pregnancy in a sms or email?

 

[tigerlilly]

i imagine some ppl will have a lot to say but not to our faces! However i could be wrong but instinct tells me different. We plan to stay positive and focus on our own family.

 

[readyformore]

For me, I think I will receive more negative reactions about my family size, than anything else.
I'm ttc #4. While pregnant with my third, I heard lots of comments like, "You're having ANOTHER one?", or "Wow, that's a big family. You have your hands full", "Don't you have a TV?" That TV one came from a friend, that also has 3 kids. Go figure.
After my third was born, I then had boy, boy, girl. Everyone under the sun just assumes that I'm done now because I've had a girl.

I agree that it's noone else's business what a person plans for their family. But, I got really tired of hearing from other people what their opinion was. So, I can understand what your concern is. You can only take so many negative comments, about such a joyous event, before you get irritated.

I'm already thinking of ways to respond to the "Wow, you're having another one!" comments. Ideally, it will be snarky and really embarrass the person that offered the initial comment. I plan on responding with something along the lines of, "He just can't keep his hands off of me", or "Yes, we have a TV, but we've found another evening activity that we prefer." Etc.

 

[dachsundmom]

Ready, the appropriate respons from you is GFY, lol.

 

[readyformore]

Ready, the appropriate respons from you is GFY, lol.

That's a good idea

Since I'm usually with my children (or at least some of them), let's make it more child-friendly. I don't want to have to introduce F bombs just yet.

Hmmm, thinking, thinking. . . . . .

 

[Macwooly]

Just smile and say "green is not your colour"

 

[readyformore]

Oh, I know!

I'll just say that I have to keep having kids so the government will give me bigger welfare checks. I need it for my drug money!!!

 

[dachsundmom]

Ready, the appropriate respons from you is GFY, lol.

That's a good idea

Since I'm usually with my children (or at least some of them), let's make it more child-friendly. I don't want to have to introduce F bombs just yet.

Hmmm, thinking, thinking. . . . . .

Learn it in Spanish, lol.

 

[BlueHadeda]

Thanx for the laughs girls!

Ready, that's mostly my problem too. Age, yes, but it's the number of kids that bothers everyone the most. Especially, like you, because I already have both boys and a girl. The girl was my 2nd, so people wanted to know why on earth do I want/need a 3rd for, I already have my pigeon pair?! They were really curious and stumped to why I'd "do this to myself again", as if I was busy cutting my finger off with a blunt knife! Gosh, is it really this bad for some people, having babies and raising kids? I can't imagine anything more wonderful!

 

[dachsundmom]

Oh, I know!

I'll just say that I have to keep having kids so the government will give me bigger welfare checks. I need it for my drug money!!!

Then I assume #4,5, and 6 will be here shortly, lol.

 

[Sus09]

I agree with you all!!
I find it pathetic when people say things like that. It is none of their business!!
I just think they dont have enough going on in their lives and they stick their noses where they shouldnt.

Ladies, its all about what you all want, dont let others get to you!!

 

[sarahincanada]

omg readyformore I cant believe how opininated people are about other peoples business! you dont have to explain why you are having another one, simply saying 'we really wanted another' should be sufficient! grrrr, people are annoying. whether someone wants no kids or 10 kids whats it got to do with anyone else (as long as they can love, feed and shelter them obviously!)

Sweetpea70 you are not doing anything wrong, you and DH want a biological baby, its nothing shocking!! I hope you dont get the comments you are expected but you could always punch them and then blame 'pregnancy hormones'

I had one comment about how I was going to be 50 when my kids was 10, I didnt respond but next time I would say 'oh well they have one young parent' as hubby is 9 years younger!! meanwhile my sister is 49 and acts 30 so 50 isnt that bad anyway

 

[LLbean]

Well in my case my way of thinking is...if you are not paying my bills you have no opinion that I would care about so...