Complete surprise pregnancy & need support

[pandacub]

So, today I Tested positive on a pregnancy test. And I'm in bits. I stopped taking the pill just before I saw OH last (advised by doc for health) and so we used the pull out method (I know, how stupid am I..) There's nothing more I want than another child, but it is so not the right time.
Practically speaking, I am in a Much better position then when I had my first.. I had just quit uni after having a breakdown, gone back to live at my parents and had no job.
Now, I'm working, doing the last year of my foundation degree (which I can top up doing classes online to a full degree next year if I want) I've been living alone for the past 4 years, I have a car, I have savings... The only thing is, my OH. He lives 100 miles away and we've only been together 8 months. Hell, we haven't even met each other's kids yet.
He is an amazing dad to his little girl, and I know it would destroy him not to live near new baby.
My parents don't even know I'm with someone, so god knows what they'll think. Even though I'm a grown woman, I still feel like I need their approval

I really thought that the next time I got pregnant I would do everything right
I don't know what to do with myself right now. Just needed to get this out, I don't want to talk to anyone in real life about it yet.

 

[hellojello25]

First of all, I'm sorry you're going through this. And secondly, my pregnancy surprised both myself and my BF as well. I had just gone off the pill a few weeks beforehand and we DTD literally once unprotected. And poof, pregnant. We certainly had a freak out period as we weren't living together either. Granted he lived a little closer (50 miles, give or take), but still, not an ideal situation. However, besides the obvious reasons, this is a blessing in disguise. We are moving in together with our dog and cat (long story short: we have lived together before but for reasons we lived apart for a bit. Not bad reasons, just reasons. We did not split up.), we've definitely made leaps and bounds financially in six short months, and honestly, we're happier and closer than we've ever been.

Give yourself some time to adjust to the idea. I constantly feel like I need my parents' approval too and they definitely were not happy with this idea. Now they can't wait, especially my mother. And if you feel like this is not the ideal time or way to have a baby, then that's up to you and I will completely support you. But definitely give yourself some time.

 

[pandacub]

Haha I totally posted in the wrong forum!! Can I blame baby brain already?

Thanks for your reply though I'm sure it will all work out, I'm just at panic stations at the moment! It's good to hear your situation ended happily
I'll tell my OH soon, probably this evening, and I've got all my fingers crossed he'll be supportive & not freak out.

I'll leave my post here for now unless mods want to move it x

 

[CRWx]

I've PM'd you lovely

 

[DaisyDreamer]

There really is no "doing everything right" when it comes to having a kid. Hell I'm sure you've heard that there's never a right time to have a baby. But regardless. You're pregnant! Congratulations! You even said right there, there's nothing more you want than a new baby. Have you told OH about this yet? I bet you feel like it's a little soon--8 months--but I wanted to get pregnant 8 months into the relationship I'm in now.
The fact of the matter is, this baby is inside of you right now. Who cares what your parents think? (easier said than done, yes) It's a baby no matter what, and it's a beautiful blessing to be loved and shared. I hope things turn out well for you dear Just remember to stay confident and go with the flow. Everything happens for a reason!

 

[Misscalais]

I have 2 babies now thanks to the pull out method ( last bub was planned though but at the time we had stopped trying and had planned a holiday ) this bub absolutely not planned and it was a very big shock, given its my 4th we have had to upgrade our car, our home is only 2 bedroom all the financial pressure is on DH. He wanted me to have an abortion. Was a very rough start to this pregnancy and now at almost 29 weeks we are ok and have got through one of the toughest times of my life.
You will get through it, there's no right or wrong way to do things. Might not be what you have planned but like everyone keeps telling me everything happens for a reason.

 

[pandacub]

Thank you everyone, I'm feeling more positive today I think I just need to let go of the fantasy I'd built up in my head for the next time I had a child.. I know realistically there is no right time. Now let's hope the OH sees it that way!