Conception Date

[babydust1991]

Hi,

Im in a bit of a situation and any help would be greatly appreciated!

Me and my partner had been ttc for 2 years with no success. We split a while back briefly, and in this time I made a huge huge mistake and slept with another man. We are back together now. I found out a few weeks ago that I'm pregnant.

My lmp was 26th Nov, and I usually have a 33 day cycle and usually ovualte on around CD 19 (I know this from using OPKs). I had unprotected sex with the 2nd man on 14th Dec (so this would usually be right when im ovulating). Literally a couple of days after this date I had symtpoms, mainly stomach cramps. They got so bad which is why I went to the doctor. I went on the 20th December, he didnt test for pregnancy then, but for infection and said I had a slight urine infection. When it didnt clear after the antibiotics I went back on the 23rd, and was told I was pregnant.

So my question is, is it likely that I ovulated early this month and that my boyfriend is the father? As from what I have been reading online, it is fairly unlikely to get pregnancy symptoms that quickly and also to get a positive hpt that quickly too (as it would have been 9 days after sex with the 2nd man, but im quite confident that had he tested for pregnancy on the 20th then that would have been positive too).

I paid for a private ultrasound on 9th Jan, which showed I was 7 weeks and 3 days, but they couldnt be very accurate on the conception date.

What is the earliest that you have gotten your BFP?

I am worrying as we were TTC for 2 years, and suddenly when im with someone else I end up pregnant. Could it just be a coincidence? Thank you in advance for your help, I am really stressing about this!

 

[luvofamom]

When was the last time you and your BF had sex before you and the other man? It's possible to get a BFP 9 days after conception it's also possible with the symptoms. With my first I got symptoms a few days after and I knew I was pregnant just depends how your baby reacts to certain things. If may be some people that may disagree.
As for the sono, it's possible for the baby to measure bigger or smaller, that's why you have to range of 2 weeks before or after.

 

[babydust1991]

We did on the 10th and 12th Dec. As I have never been pregnant before I have no idea whether it was early to feel symptoms or not. I've heard a few people saying its very unusual to feel symptoms before implantation. I have asked a few doctors who have said that it is quite unlikely to be the 2nd mans, but it still could be. I know im not going to 100% know until I have the baby, but I was just wondering what other peoples views were.

Thanks for your help!

 

[StaceyKor]

Counting back 5w from scan date (since scan measured baby at around 7 weeks) I'm getting conception date as around 5th December. Thats only 9 days after your lmp if your dates are correct, so it seems you ovulated early and itd be very unlikely that the other man is the father x

 

[babydust1991]

I was thinking I had probably ovulated early. I done one of those clear blue digital tests on the 23rd Dec which said 3+, which I read meant that I conceived 3 weeks ago. I know that those tests arent always acurate though so I didnt want to go by that. I had a blood test done on 2nd Jan which I averaged out 49 - 50 days on, but again that didnt help me much to try and work out when I might have conceived. My cycles are generally 33 days so it would be very unusual for me to ovulate so early.. has this happened to people before?

Thanks for your help!

 

[2have4kids]

Would it matter if it was the other man's baby? I'd simply keep it a secret. I guess the blood type would give it away depending on what your oh is but I hope it all works out for you either way. Congrats on your bfp!

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

Hope it works out for you x

 

[squirrel.]

Hi there,

Poor you, what a stressful situation for you. Judging by what you said, to me it sounds like the baby is your partner's. It's VERY rare to feel symptoms before implantation, which happens on average 8/9 days after fertilisation. The only hormonal or chemical change that happens before implantation is that our bodies release EPF (Early Pregnancy Factor) which suppresses the immune system so we don't reject the fertilised egg. This might cause women to get ill before implantation (I myself caught HFAM from my son a couple of days after I ovulated - which is very rare in adults, so my suppressed immune system might have had something to do with it). Also, your scan giving a gestation of 7+3 and you getting a 3+ so early, suggest you ovulated early. Scan dates so early give a variance of 5 days either way, but even if your baby were measuring 5 days ahead at that point, conception would have still occured before the 14th. Everything points to it being your partner's, but the only way to truly tell is by doing a DNA test.

Does your partner know about the other man? If it were me, I would tell him. It's such a big secret to keep and when you're pregnant, you don't want to have anything causing you extra stress. If you were on a break at the time, though it would be painful for him to hear, it's not like you were unfaithful to him. Personally, I also feel he has a right to know that the baby might not be his.

I hope you figure it all out and that everything turns out for the best. We're here to talk if you need more advice!

xx

 

[babydust1991]

Thanks everyone for your replies.

Squirrel no I havent told my partner about the other man, I know I probably should but I know it will really mess him up and he will never properly trust me again. I know we were split, but the split was very brief and I know he would be very very hurt if he did know. Of course I dont want him to think that it is his baby for the next 7 months and then find out in the long run that it isnt, as that would obviously crush him. My sonographer has said that the chances of it being the other mans are very very slim, but I am just having that nagging feeling in the back of my head that it could be. She also said that I probably conceived about a week after my period which I am finding quite hard to believe as I usually have 33 day cycles and ovulate around day 19. I just dont know what to think!

I know I wont know for sure until I have the baby and get a dna test done. I just cant imagine how awful it would be for me to have to break it to him after that whole time that the baby isnt his if it turns out not to be. I know its my fault, I just cant imagine hurting someone that much. I just dont want to tell him now and ruin things when the chances are quite slim of it being the other mans.

I will try not to stress about it though, I am glad I have people on here I can talk to as I havent really been able to talk to any friends or family and it has been very stressful!

 

[brittany12]

I'm sorry your going through this..

I really don't know about whos baby it could be.. it could go either way. If it were me I would try to tell your partner sooner rather than later. I know it may hurt him and yall, but it would hurt more if you waited. Just be honest with him hun.

I hope it works out!

 

[pandi77]

I'm not sure where your located (on phone so can't tell) but if you have access to a free fetal dna test like materniT21 or panorama they usually swab the "assumed " father to help the accuracy of the test as a routine part if the process. You can still make your medical records and test only accessible by you and so you could know for sure if he was the father of not. These test are available around 10 weeks and also provide the gender and chromosomal testing so they are quite helpful.

It sounds like you would have had to ovulate early for this to be your partners and there's just no way to know for sure unfortunately. Everything else is circumstantial and could be coincidental- stomach pains etc. I hope you get your answers and if the baby is your partners you only have to decide whether to tell him about the other man eventually. Good luck.

 

[babydust1991]

I'm in the UK (Reading) and have looked into this but I can't seem to find anywhere that is cheaper than £1000 and I have heard about risks involved.

I had my scan 3 weeks and 5 days after the second man and baby measured 1.2cm which they said was 7 weeks 3 days. They said it would be very very unlikely to be getting that measurement so soon after the 2nd man. I think now I look at it that way I do feel a lot better about the whole situation, but I know I hardly ever ovulate that early so I do still keep getting thoughts in my head that it's not his.

I know I need to tell him, his whole family want me to have a termination as they don't think he's ready for a baby, and this would give them even more reason to keep on at me to, which is hard. We were ttc for such a long time the thought of a termination makes me feel sick and I know I could never do it.

 

[2have4kids]

I know I need to tell him, his whole family want me to have a termination as they don't think he's ready for a baby, and this would give them even more reason to keep on at me to, which is hard. We were ttc for such a long time the thought of a termination makes me feel sick and I know I could never do it.

Are you kidding? You're family would want you to terminate because HE'S not ready, what are you some kind of animal that produces when the male in the area is ready to replicate?

Does your family know that it could be another man? I wouldn't tell a soul about it. Check out your partners blood type as soon as you can and you should also check out the other man's blood type (you might need RH drugs depending on the baby). If you find a difference once the baby is born well, you can think about telling him then. Would a man tell you he cheated? Never. This might be a controvertial opinion that I have but I think sometimes it's better to not kiss and tell. Especially if the baby ends up being your partners. You could create a situation where you're single mom for no good reason other than to get your mistake off your chest. You know it was a mistake, you've learned a big lesson from it, just hold off until you get more information. If you can tell by blood type that it's not your partners well, then you may have to spill the beans. Until then, try to keep a dad around for your baby.

 

[babydust1991]

Its his family who dont want me to have it not mine, my family dont even know im pregnant yet. I have no contact at all with my mum and I just havent told my dad yet.. I will do soon.

I know that telling him would absolutely ruin the relationship, we were going through a really bad patch at the time which is why I done it and I'm feeling horrible and guilty about it, I dont want to make him feel rubbish about it too.

When will I find out babys blood type? I dont even have a midwife yet, my doctor has decided they will no longer see me as I dont live in their catchment area anymore, Im away for work this week as well so cant do anything this week. Im going to look to try and get a new doctor as soon as im back but it will probably be another few weeks, I'll probably be 12 weeks by then.

 

[Celesse]

If you had got pregnant on 14th Dec, then baby would have been 5+5 on the 9th Jan. Sperm can live in the body for a while after sex, but that would have made you less pregnant on the 9th Jan, so the most pregnant you could have been was 5+5.

There is absolutely no chance at all that a ultrasound tech would mistake a 5+5 pregnancy for a 7+3 pregnancy. At 5+5 you have a sac and a yolk sac.....maybe you have the start of a fetal pole, and maybe you have hb... but chances are baby won't even be visible yet.

The dates of a pregnancy based on a conception date of 14th Dec.
https://www.pregnology.com/faralong.php?month=9&day=06&year=2014

The dates of a pregnancy based on measuring 7+3 on 9th Jan.
https://www.pregnology.com/faralong.php?month=8&day=25&year=2014

A collection of early ultrasound scans. Note the difference between 5 week scans and 7 week scans.
https://www.baby2see.com/development/ultrasound_sonogram/first_trimester_scans.html

 

[Moom7900]

I agree with some of the other ladies that this baby HAS to be your partner's!! A pregnancy of less than 6 weeks cannot be mistaken for a baby 2 weeks further on measuring over a centimetre! And to back up the sonographer's measurements, you also got a 3+ on a digi, which works with your partner being the father. You've also been told by an experienced sonographer that the chances of the baby being the other man's are next to nothing. I think it's hormones and guilt making you want to confess, and usually I'm all for honesty in such situations, but I'd advise you to forget it happened and get on with your pregnancy. Confessing will likely cause trust issues and pile so much stress on you both, which you don't need while pregnant! Also, by the sounds of the in-laws, you'll just be giving them ammo to make your life hell.

One thing I would recommend is a full sexual health check-up, I know they check for a lot during pregnancy, but not sure if it covers everything? But please, stop giving yourself a hard time! You weren't together, and you don't deserve stress and suspicion for one night that you regret - biology tells you that the baby is your partner's, so let it go and enjoy your life and your much longed for pregnancy!

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[babydust1991]

Thank you so much, this has made me feel so much better!

I've just got to accept that I must have ovulated early and that its my boyfriends. It does make me feel a lot better to have the reassurance from you guys though so thank you very much, as the doctors who I were seeing before were telling me it was 50/50 and I was such a mess.

I agree it is probably hormones and guilt making me want to confess, I have been feeling guilty as ever lately but I'm just going to try and have to put all those thoughts to the back of my head and try and have a happy stress free remainder of my pregnancy