Condoms and lies ?

[Jkelmum]

My husband found a condom wrapper on my bathroom floor where kids left there dirty clothes after a bath ....my 13 yr old knows nothing and my 9 yr old wants to know why a tomato sauce packet was on bathroom floor ....any advice on how to get my 13 yr old to tell me the truth ? I mean if he had just been playying about he wouldnt lie would he ? and if he is using them omg he is far too young omg this teenage thing is hard work ...any advice would be great

 

[leeanne]

@ tomato sauce packet.

Anyhow, it's not all that funny. I dread these days but they are bound to happen.

The condom wrapper...was it a wrapper, or the entire condom pack and condom?

Irregardless, I'd sit down with him and not get angry but talk it out like adult to adult. Afterall, he's heading towards becoming one. Hopefully he can feel that he can trust you and talk to you, although, he may feel embarrassed.

 

[Jkelmum]

It was a empty packet , Ive told him if its his for whatever reason i am not angry but if he is lyin to me i will be ! I have also said if its bcos he is using it for its correct purpose i feel he is too young but i am proud he is using protection ...it must be his i just would like the truth from him iykwim

 

[Mervs Mum]

I dont have boys but I have a 14 yr old girl. I just tell it like it is. Tell him he's not in trouble and that condoms are actually a wonderful invention. Explain why it's so important to use them. I'd also say the same thing I said to my daughter about his age and tell him how sex is also a wonderful and special thing and that it's best enjoyed between two people who know and love one another. Yes you can have sex with anyone but to enjoy it then you should love each other. That's what my dad told me and I didnt have sex until I'd been in a relationship for almost a year and I was 17. I've said this to my girl as I want her to take it as seriously as I did.

My guess is it's your 13 yr olds and he's got it from school or a friend from a vending machine and just been messing about. The packet may well have dropped out of his pocket when he was in the bathroom.

 

[honey08]

ive a 14yr old stepson, whos lived with OH since he were 3 ,and a few wk ago a girl called for him, since then weve filled his coat pockets up with condoms and talked to him ........ yeh we dont want him having sex,but at least if he is and uses a condom then cant do much bout it xx

 

[leeanne]

ive a 14yr old stepson, whos lived with OH since he were 3 ,and a few wk ago a girl called for him, since then weve filled his coat pockets up with condoms and talked to him ........ yeh we dont want him having sex,but at least if he is and uses a condom then cant do much bout it xx

Exactly what I'll be doing. I'll be going right down to the store and buying them a box. LOL

 

[leeanne]

It was a empty packet , Ive told him if its his for whatever reason i am not angry but if he is lyin to me i will be ! I have also said if its bcos he is using it for its correct purpose i feel he is too young but i am proud he is using protection ...it must be his i just would like the truth from him iykwim

Can your OH talk to him? Sometimes it's easier for girls to talk to moms, and boys to talk to the dads, and sometimes it's vice versa too. LOL

 

[Char&Bump-x]

my 9 yr old wants to know why a tomato sauce packet was on bathroom floor...

reminds me of when my 8 year old sister asked why there was a banana in the toilet (it was a tampon, clean)

Seriously though, i agree with what the others said, he's probably embarrased about it causing him to lie

 

[Mervs Mum]

Like Leeanne said, if I had boys I would be arming him with condoms. I will be giving them to Emily as soon as I have any inkling that she's having or considering having sex.

 

[lozzy21]

Could he just have been messing about with it? My friends were still putting them over their head's and blowing them up at 16.

 

[Parkep]

i would think he was probably learning about them at school.... and was wondering and was playing with it but didnt want to say anything because he was embarrassed.... if he truley was having sex he wouldnt bring the emtpy wrapper home, i wouldnt think so anyways. i know i was always embarrassed talking about anything like that with my mom and would just lie to stop the conversation...
I would just have the sex talk with him tell him he is young, but if he is to protect himself.

 

[morri]

Yeah, about this age we also got them in sex ed at school, so maybe he was just messing around with them. Otherwise- just talk, and it is good to see that he knows what it is .

 

[Zarababy1]

i dont really know what too say about this one, other than if he is at it be glad hes using somthing! but then again 13 is so so young! my little sister is 13 and if i even thought she was doing anything i'd probably kill her! but i think your own children are diffrent and if it was charlie (omg it will be one day...scarey!) id probably just let him know that he can talk to me about anything hopefully he'll tell me or at least his dad the first time he ever has sex, i told my mum so hopfully he'll do the same! other than that id say if he was just messing about with it then surely he'd tell you? (not trying to worry you there!) but if it was me and i was trying too hide it the first thing id say is i was playing with it! maybe he really doesnt know ware it came from? do you ever have any of his friends around or anyone else is could have possibly come from?

 

[tasha41]

A lot of boys play with them too, like a lot of 13 year olds have not seen one, maybe he was just curious... that would be embarrassing to admit to your mum! Just another possibility, lol. I'd give him a "talk" though too if you haven't yet..

 

[Jen.Uh.Fur]

I know that girls like looking at pads and tampons just to get the curiousity out of their system. Maybe he was doing the same thing?

But at the same time, I think maybe someone needs to talk to him to see if he has actually used it. It's scary how young kids are starting with the sexual stuff nowadays.

 

[lissaloo]

well they do become active younger these days and if he is there is nothing you can do !!
on the bright side at least he is been sensible x

 

[halas]

i know at high school everyone had condoms even if they wern't sexually active they all just like mcking around with them

 

[amylw1]

IF it has come from the school and you havent signed a consent form for him to do sex ed then the school can be in alot of trouble. hopefully as the oters have said he's just been messing about with it. i would try sitting him down (or getting his dad to ) and talk to him and explain its nothing to be embarressed about etc.

as for buying them IF you think your child is sexually active all of the health clinics give out packs of 20 a month FREE! this also applies if you are under the age of 26.


when we altered our bedroom round recently we didnt realise that the contents of our drawer had fallen out.....

well a few days later we found half of them open in our 6yr olds bedroom! he asked why mummy and daddy had balloons in packets in their room. (we did laugh at the time). but we explained to him that they are special and for adults to use if they dont want babies..... to which we got asked "why we hadnt used 1 and i had a baby in my tummy". so he got told because we wanted a baby. he was ok with that but we told him he doesnt play with things he finds in our room.

 

[morri]

You need to sign a form for sex ed? , Do you also need to sign a form for religion or Geography?

 

[sleepinbeauty]

Talk to him openly and honestly. Make sure he understands the responsibility of sex and that birth control is not 100%.

I'm in no position to comment too much on the age thing--I was 14....but I will say that he might honestly think he understands the whole idea and think that he's ready to deal with it all. Looking back, I wish I had waited--what would have happened if I had gotten pregnant at that time, you know?

Just make sure he understands. Be open-minded and treat him as an equal. No one will open up when they are being talked down to. Good luck!