Confused and Upset

[Tinkles]

I am hoping for a bit of reassurance from you lovely ladies please.

My DH and I recently had a very unsatisfactory 1st appt with the FS. He gave us no options other than IVF which we would have to pay for ourselves. He told us to look on the HFEA website and decide which clinic we wanted to go to. That was 2 weeks ago and I really didn't know what to expect next. I had an appt with my GP yesterday in the hope she would be able to explain. It turns out that we didn't even see the specialist that she referred us to but one of the Registrars instead, she also said that we should have received a follow up letter detailing what treatment had been discussed and agreed, she is following this up for us and I'm waiting for a call from her.

Today I received a set of forms from our local clinic, these forms are asking me to confirm that I have no history of child abuse etc, WTF?? They state that my treatment cannot start until I complete them in full, we have not decided on this clinic and I certainly never expected these forms. I know that I am probably being oversensitive but if I could conceive naturally I wouldn't be asked all these awful questions, do all clinics make you complete these?
Y

 

[FBbaby]

I'm very sorry things have been so confusing.

It is indeed normal practice for all those forms to be fed. It is not the clinic that impose it but the HFEA. I do remember feeling quite a weight on my heart when I filled these in, it brings things up that you just don't particularly want to think about, and I certainly didn't when I was ttc naturally for my two children.

The fact that you saw the registar rather than the consultant you were referred to is normal, and it is not usual to get a follow-up later detailing treatment, however, he should have written the outcome of the meeting to your GP and you could ask for a copy of it.

Do you know why he has said that IVF is the only option? It is not right that he shouldn't go into details as to why he thinks that is your only options and rushing you IVF to the point that you've already received the forms etc...

I had a bit of the same feeling after our first appt and we were informed that OH SA results were not too good. The consultant was clear that icsi was our only option, even though I had fallen pregnant before (but m/c). He offered to refer me to get my tubes checked, although he said since I'd been pregnant 3 times before, it was unlikely to be a problem. In the end, I was the one stating that maybe we should wait and do another test before we consider assisted conception. Like you, we would have to pay and that makes a big difference to the decision to go that route. In the end, i was right the second test came back much better, not great, but under the 'normal' parameters.

2 months on, 5 months after first appt, I'm still not pregnant and we might still consider doing something, but I do feel we were quite rushed into ivf...funilly enough, the consultant we saw under the NHS happens to also be the director of the private clinic....