Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[EpdTTC]

So glad to hear that you heard from your donor Ruby! Roll on October 1st!

 

[LunaBean]

Yaye Ruby, told you you were panicing to soon!

The article in Take A Break (I bought the mag) was about an undercover reporter who contacted men on a website offering NI and AI, and they were claiming NI worked better, it was saying it was just men looking 'free sex', and that they weren't really doing it out of the goodness of their hearts to help women have a baby, as most were married and their wives didn't know, and that it was all seedy.

Id never pay for sperm either, a 'donation' means free. I had men emailing me asking for £200 a time, since 'they were saving me alot of money since I wasn't using a clinic'. Fools.

 

[Sparklypants]

The thing is I happen to know some of the donors that were 'interviewed' from that website.

I didn't buy the magazine out of principle, but the way the reporter portrayed these two men in particular really isn't what they are like. I am not pro NI and never will be, but there are many women who do not want anything to do with AI and so it is good to know that there are some NI donors who are very genuine and who have helped ladies become Mummies. There just aren't many of them.

It's just a shame that the reporter decided to dupe the genuine men into the interviews and then had someone take pictures of them. I happen to know that with the two particular donors that I know, their family members recognised them from the magazine and now they are in two minds whether to donate or not. I also know that the articles have scared a lot of genuine and dedicated AI donors and that I have friends who have lost their donors because of this article.

I really do wish that the magazine had thought about approaching this in a different way and told the donors ho they were and would they speak with them.. it's so underhand.

 

[LunaBean]

Yeah I didnt agree with it at all, I got it to show my OH, they shouldnt have tricked the guys..and definately shouldnt have secretly taken their pictures, it's gona make genuine donors think twice now, I even had a few emails from people wondering if I was genuine, and one guy brought a friend to meet us the first time, and had given a fake name and used a different simcard, beause he thought we were gona scam him! (I duno how tho..did he think we were gona lock him up and torture him? lol)

Its definately given donors, NI and AI, a bad name!! People do think Im mad using a donor, and its articles like that make them think that!

 

[Sparklypants]

It's terrible isn't it.... I fired off a scathing email to TAB telling them exactly what I thought of them. Funnily enough they didn't reply!

I can't imagine how absolutely devastated I would have been had my donor said he'd changed his mind!

The website that she found the two men that I know of has closed it's doors too, which is a shame as I had made some lovely friends there... like on this thread it's lovely to chat to people in the same boat isn't it x

 

[LunaBean]

I may just email them myself!

Yeah I love this website, I only joined one day because I googled something last year and it brought BnB up, so I joined, now Im on it everyday lol.

 

[Sparklypants]

I think I might have told them that I hoped they never ever needed a donor, and that if they did that they couldn't find one lol

Maybe that was why i didn't get a reply??

I love it here too... although I keep going to click on 2ww and then remember I'm not in that section anymore! x

 

[RubyRainbows]

It's bad publicity & weird shady things like that which make this process so taboo! I have no intention of telling ANYONE! Even my best friends & lesbian friends -- i really think they would find this whole thing way too weird. Thank God i have you guys!!!!!! Hearing your stories & seeing your successes has given me a much better perspective on finding a real-life donor. Before this site -- and even only until recent months i never ever dreamed of meeting a man/a stranger @ a hotel and exchanging his bodily fluids! Until the day actually comes it still seems very abstract to me! I feel so grateful for all the advice, support, & encouragment from all you lovely ladies! It has opened my eyes to alternative ways to have a baby! And any process, no matter which way you get there, the goal for all TTC mommies is to have a sweet little baby in the end! Any road we choose to get there still leads to a beautiful wonderful place! And luckily there are genuine, sincere men out there willing to do this for us. Hopefully that article wont scare the good guys away!

 

[DaisyDoodles]

We're not telling anyone what we're doing either, with reports like the TAB one flying around and fertility first being plastered all over the news, my family would worry themselves silly and our child would have to grow up with people making judgements!!

Ruby, I'm really glad you've managed to get in touch with your donor and I wouldn't worry too much about it being a day earlier than you planned, you have a much better chance than with the frozen!

 

[Tegans Mama]

Hello again everyone :wave:

I have a question... Where do you all find your donors? (ladies from the UK) We don't know where to start looking..
Thankyou xx

 

[kns]

Tadpole Forum was a site we used and found our donor but look for a long time beofre making a decision as there are a few dodgy guys on there that only do NI or state AI and when meet will only do NI and pressurise vulnerable women desperate for babies to go against their beliefs and better judgment.
just be careful and go with gut instinct.
x

 

[Sparklypants]

Hello again everyone :wave:

I have a question... Where do you all find your donors? (ladies from the UK) We don't know where to start looking..
Thankyou xx

I just had to say how gorgeous your daughter is, she's so beautiful! I used to work with disabled and special needs children, and like you say in your journal the love and emotion you feel for them is absolutely overwhelming isn't it.

back to the subject in hand.. I found my donor through a site called Tadpole of all things, but sadly it's been closed due to the magazine articles. They are hoping it will be up and running again, but I doubt it somehow... A lot of ladies register on FSDW, but you do have to pay for it I believe. There's also Co-Parent Match, but as I say I don't have any experience of these websites, only Tadpole.

Good luck! x x

 

[rosie5637]

i found my donor on fsdw. the site is moderated and will only accept AI donors. any donors found to be offering anything else and not obiding by the rules are kicked off the site. it's quite expensive (£20 - £30 a month) but i found my donor very quickly so should be able to cancel my membership after one month. i also like the fact that the donors are sorted into groups according to the county they live in so it's easier to find a donor in your area.

good luck!

 

[Sparklypants]

Rosie so glad you managed to find someone! You all set now then? x

 

[Tegans Mama]

We're going to ask OH's brother.. *gulp* but I think we'll be registering on FSDW too. Exciting Good luck rosie5637 and congrats Sparklypants and kns x

 

[rosie5637]

thanks sparklypants!

i should be getting a donation on sunday!

excited and nervous. my donor is really nice and he's given me no reason to think he'll let me down like the others. he can't help in october cause he's busy so i'm in the market for a one off donation from another donor that month. but hey, PMA i won't need a donation in october!

how you feeling?

 

[Sparklypants]

thanks sparklypants!

i should be getting a donation on sunday!

excited and nervous. my donor is really nice and he's given me no reason to think he'll let me down like the others. he can't help in october cause he's busy so i'm in the market for a one off donation from another donor that month. but hey, PMA i won't need a donation in october!

how you feeling?

That's fabulous, I am so pleased for you!! And yes, I think PMA does indeed help sometimes... although I always look on the black side, I figure that way I won't be disappointed lol

I am okay thanks hun, my boobs are really sore and very pink and today and yesterday I have had pulling, tugging and a 'zing' sensation in my womb area... apparently it's all ligament tightening preparing for the growth of the womb etc. It's a horrible feeling!

Mind you, I wouldn't swap it for the world x

 

[day_dreamer]

We're going to ask OH's brother.. *gulp* but I think we'll be registering on FSDW too. Exciting Good luck rosie5637 and congrats Sparklypants and kns x

Ooooo so you've decided to try for another then? yay exciting!!

We're looking around at the moment...I did look on Tadpole, and have also looked on co-parent match, co-parent.net and FSDW but I think the one I prefer most is pride angel...you have to pay though (as with most of them) but it doesn't seem quite so expensive.

I know a fair few ladies who have used Fertility 1st with lots of success, but again it's quite pricey.

 

[LunaBean]

Its madness that we have to pay at all! I put a ad on Vivastreet, in the 'women seeking men' and the 'men seeking men' forum..and got loads of replies, mostly dodgy, but a few good ones!!

You'll find that because it goes by area, most 'genuine' people who end up being donors, were on the site looking for something else and stumbled across the ad, one of mine had searched 'dog coleraine' and our ad came up because of our town, and he replied lol. The one we're using at the minute had searched something to do with social work, and our ad came up because it says Im a youthworker, lol. So its not always seedy men who are on looking for a woman!

 

[kns]

oh my god,
what has happened to tadpole forums??????
just read about take a break magazine and some articles about it?
can anyone enlighten me?
this is the site we used for our donor, i know he is all legit and above board etc.
x