controlled crying and breastfed baby

[honey915]

Please dont judge me! I am going to try controlled crying tomorrow night with lo. He is 14 mo and still up all night feeding and cosleeoing. Its getting in between my relationshio with oh, so im going to trycontrolled cring. Id love to hear from any bfeeding mums esp of older babies that have user it, any advice.. any hope lol!!

Sorry bout typos using unfamiliar tablet!

Where do I start? If he wakes do I feed him first?

 

[justkitty]

I'd say you'll need to cut out all night feeds because if you cc at some parts of the night and feed at others it'll be confusing. Also not sure how it works Co sleeping. Are you moving lo into a cot?

 

[honey915]

Yes hes going intona cot. I feel so low about giving up cosleeping and guilty on lo
It feels unnatural but I need to sort out mine and dhs relationship. We dont spend time together these days made worse by cosleeping. But feel like im going to really miss lo close to me all thr time. Cried this eve

 

[honey915]

Yes hes going intona cot. I feel so low about giving up cosleeping and guilty on lo
It feels unnatural but I need to sort out mine and dhs relationship. We dont spend time together these days made worse by cosleeping. But feel like im going to really miss lo close to me all thr time. Cried this eve

 

[snowfia]

Don't feel guilty! Although, I did too at the time.
We did this with DD at around 16 months as I was pregnant and we weren't sleeping well at all. We did cut out night feeds to do it. We didn't do CC though. We sang to her, rubbed her back etc to get her to sleep. I also fed her before we put her in the cot and I gave her lots of cuddles. It took about a week-2 weeks for her to go to sleep easily after a book and a song or 2 and sttn.
I don't regret doing it though. I needed a break before DS being in our bed :L DD comes in our bed in the mornings for cuddles though

 

[Celesse]

What I did with mine with CC (kinda) for the first sleep of the night. After that when they woke up I'd pop them into our bed and fed back to sleep and co-sleep the rest of the night. I found that first session of sleep would be at least until grown up bedtime giving us grown up time. Usually it would be longer, and in their own time they'd lengthen to all night.

 

[Hayley90]

X

 

[justkitty]

Why don't you try nap times in cot first then moving into cot for night time later on? You'll all sleep better I am sure.

Please don't feel guilty.

 

[honey915]

No im nt happy with it. This morning oh told me he couldnt live woth me anymore. Says he doesnt agree with me breastfeeding a 14 mo cause its 'disgusting'. Hes incredibly ignorant! I wish hed support me bf more but he only knows people who are bottle f eeding and their babes sleep through early or with someone while they go out. We dont go out much. Since ive had ds i just wanna be his mum and have really put the relationship last. Ds will only be a baby for a little longer i just want to make the most of every moment. I miss him even while he sleeps!!! I know that seems crazy but you bfeeding mums will know how emotionally connected you feel woth your babies. It feels so natural and right for me to cosleep and bf still. But oh wanrs me to pit our relarionship first and doesn't think ds will suffer for it. I hope hes right. Thanks for all your advice

 

[Foogirl]

My opinion? I wouldn't be considering substantially changing my baby's routine on the say so of someone who is saying things like that to me. It sounds to me like there are bigger problems in the relationship than just the co sleeping. I would be explaining this isn't forever, just give it a few months more til both you and LO are ready to stop co sleeping.

I agree that CC and nighttime breastfeeding are incompatible. and to be honest, if you aren't 100% on board with trying it! you probably won't have much success as it takes nerves of steel to deal with the tears.

 

[Celesse]

No im nt happy with it. This morning oh told me he couldnt live woth me anymore. Says he doesnt agree with me breastfeeding a 14 mo cause its 'disgusting'. Hes incredibly ignorant! I wish hed support me bf more but he only knows people who are bottle f eeding and their babes sleep through early or with someone while they go out. We dont go out much. Since ive had ds i just wanna be his mum and have really put the relationship last. Ds will only be a baby for a little longer i just want to make the most of every moment. I miss him even while he sleeps!!! I know that seems crazy but you bfeeding mums will know how emotionally connected you feel woth your babies. It feels so natural and right for me to cosleep and bf still. But oh wanrs me to pit our relarionship first and doesn't think ds will suffer for it. I hope hes right. Thanks for all your advice

I think if my husband was like this with me and my parenting decisions I'd be gone. I wouldn't say its so much children first, grown ups second in our house as every one respects everyone elses needs, including the children's needs to sleep close to the mummy. Yes my relationship with my husband is important to me, but how could I respect him if he didn't respect me and my need to parent my baby in the way I saw best.

 

[Rachel_C]

Night weaning doesn't have to mean controlled crying. Have you seen Dr Jay Gordon's method? https://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

 

[Pearls18]

I stopped BF in the night around 6 months I believe. When he woke at night my DH would go in and settle him instead, and we would offer camomile tea instead, eventually he started being able to be soothed without any milk at night. I think it worked pretty much straight away and then he completely slept through by 8 months and has done since. I would attempt night weaning before any kind of sleep training, good luck

 

[Pearls18]

I've only just read your second comment, I decided myself I wanted to night wean and knew DS was ready (which was demonstrated by him accepting it quickly) but if you're only doing it for your hubby then stop right there! You shouldn't be pressured into doing anything you don't want to do, he sounds very arrogant and unappreciative of how well you are doing!

 

[mia_leacey]

What we do is settle LO in his bed at his bedtime then bring him through to us when he first wakes. Could this be a compromise? You and OH get some 'cuddle time' before LO comes through? I night weaned at around 18/19 months using Jay Gordon's method. Had tried earlier but LO wasn't ready. I bf him till 2 and we still co sleep but when he wakes at around 12.
But don't do anything on the say so of an unsupportive and ignorant partner! Do what is best for you and your LO.

 

[honey915]

Thankyou all for your supportive comments. I thought i was being unreasonable. It turns out lo settled well with cc and barely even screamed. A few wimpers throughout the night. But rekarionship wise im getting sick of being with such a misinformed bloody minded ignorant man! He threatened to leave me yesterday because i dont socialise enough with his friends. These are the friends who are out drinking and socialising weeks after giving birth. I realy dont feel like being around him. He cant love me much if he is willing to walk away from our relationship over something so pathetic! I love him but not enough to change who i am. I am considering walking away. He is being cold. He makes me feel responsible for everything wrong in his life. Im starting to see that he is quite emotionally abusive even though im sure he doesnt do this intenrionally. Im sorry this post has turned into an i hate my partner rant!!!!

 

[honey915]

Wow marine wag does chamomille tea work? I didn't think he could have anything like that but i suppose its all herbal isnt it? X

 

[Pearls18]

Wow marine wag does chamomille tea work? I didn't think he could have anything like that but i suppose its all herbal isnt it? X

Yeah it's just a herbal tea, I only did it after 6 months, he wasn't fussed on it which I guess is why he stopped waking up for it

 

[honey915]

Haha! Bless xx