Controlled crying at 4.5 months..? Believers in the method only please. :)

[kealz]

Hi

I used this method with my ds1 at 6 months and it worked like a charm. He has been a fantastic sleeper ever since and we've all benefitted from that.
Now I have a ds2, I will do the same with him and had every intention of waiting until the recommended 6 months. However... he has fallen to sleep a few times by himself at bedtime and he's really struggling in the daytime to get his naps as he will fight against rocking, pull dummy out and then cry for it. I have tried just putting him down in the cot for naps and he's ok for a short time and then cries.
I know not everyone agrees with this method and please, I'm not looking for criticism, but if any moms out there have any advice on whether they think it might be ok to start early then I would appreciate that. Thanks and sorry for long post!

 

[ElizabethK_]

My DD is 4 months and I did controlled crying with her. I started about 2 weeks ago and it was the most difficult decision to make but it has worked and both of our lives are better now because of it.

She still cries sometimes but no more than 5 minutes and I still go in after a few minutes to pat and shush her. Usually after that she calms down.
I make sure we have a schedule both before naps and bedtime so she knows it's time to sleep. But i'm sure you know about that since you did it with your first baby.

So go ahead and do it and you'll all feel better.

 

[TTC First]

I am not sure I do controlled crying or not but here is what I do. I am a foster parent for infants so I get lots of them and have to get them all into a routine. I find that I get them sleeping through the night very quick.

I have a set bedtime for all my kids 9pm. I wake them up in the morning about 9am. When I first get them I don't have a set time for their first nap, I let them stay up till they fall asleep. I figure it's best for them to go to sleep when they are naturally tired. They tend to fall asleep about 2 hours after they wake up. Once I find their sleep time, I consistently put them to nap at that time. Often times there is a little crying at first but because it's their natural time to be tired, there is less crying. I let them sleep for 2 hours for their first nap, I don't let them sleep longer than that. Once I get them consistent on their first nap, I do the same to figure out when they are tired in the afternoon.

In the end I have found that they wake in the morning, are up for 2 hours, nap for 2 hours, up for 2 hours, then second nap for 2 hours. This takes us till about 5pm and they are awake till bedtime. The younger ones may need a short nap in the evening.

I find that there is very little crying involved and most times the kids go right to sleep before I leave the room. I know there are parents who will go in and sooth the child at first when the kids are trying to settle but as long as the crying is not uncontrollable and I know that they are safe I don't disturb their process of falling asleep. It really doesn't take long when you combine their natural sleep pattern with a routine.

 

[kealz]

Thank you both! I was hoping I wasn't going to get shot down but you've given great advice and good to hear it working so well for you both with little ones.
My ds2 just seems ready and think it would make all our lives a bit easier.
Thanks ladies, I'm gonna do it! x

 

[TTC First]

I would say you are more than ready...I start right away as long as the kids are healthy and a decent weight. All my kids are sleeping through the night in the first couple months.

 

[ElizabethK_]

No problem! We do what's best for our babies!

Someone once told me that, just like they have to learn how to roll over, crawl, walk, they also have to learn how to sleep. It might take some time but in the end it's for the best.

I'm glad it worked so good with your DS1 and I'm sure DS2 will be the same!

 

[kealz]

Thanks so much everyone, you've all put my mind at rest! I'll start this weekend so dh is around to entertain ds1! x

 

[Kirsty3051]

Our son is a little older than yours but I feel like we've cracked his sleeping routine now. He slept through the night from 3 weeks old so he's always been a good sleeper anyway.

At the moment he's on 7am wake up (I've had days off recently and he's slept right through to 10:30!!!)
9:30 - Nap
13:00 - Nap
17:00/18:00 - Short nap on drive home from work
19:30 - Bed

Bed time is the only time he's struggled to go off. We had tears for a few days and then he got used to it. He eats his dinner, my husband baths him, we read a book, boob time and then he goes down for the night. Some nights he lays there for a while, some nights he goes straight off. I'm dreading the day we have to drop a nap

 

[Kazy]

It's so nice to hear someone else does controlled crying! I'm always afraid to mention it because of criticism. I have done this with all four of mine. I have found that you have to get to a point where you are confident its what's best for.your.baby. if you.go by age only you.could potentially wait too long making it harder for them (actually.having to cry.longer) or too early. I actually let my daughter cry at 2 months (she's 10 weeks now) and she's been sleeping through the night since. I actually had the opposite problem of you where she slept fine for naps bit harder at night.
Anyway, sounds like a good time to me.

 

[Larkspur]

Someone once told me that, just like they have to learn how to roll over, crawl, walk, they also have to learn how to sleep. It might take some time but in the end it's for the best.

To be honest, that seems like an argument against sleep training, rather than for it. We don't actually teach our babies to roll over, crawl or walk. They do that all by themselves when they're ready.

 

[Kazy]

Our son is a little older than yours but I feel like we've cracked his sleeping routine now. He slept through the night from 3 weeks old so he's always been a good sleeper anyway.

At the moment he's on 7am wake up (I've had days off recently and he's slept right through to 10:30!!!)
9:30 - Nap
13:00 - Nap
17:00/18:00 - Short nap on drive home from work
19:30 - Bed

Bed time is the only time he's struggled to go off. We had tears for a few days and then he got used to it. He eats his dinner, my husband baths him, we read a book, boob time and then he goes down for the night. Some nights he lays there for a while, some nights he goes straight off. I'm dreading the day we have to drop a nap

I can't wait until my dd sleeps like this! My oldest was like that!! I'm a little jealous.

 

[ChocolateC]

We waited until 6 months like you BUT if we had another we'd do it sooner. Maybe not as soon as 2 months but 4 seems reasonable to me. The only thing I found was that DD didn't STTN forever, but we needed to re-train her every few months. It was quick and not a big deal at all.

 

[Kazy]

I know 2 mo ths seems early but she did t cry long. And I wouldn't have let her cry long

 

[kealz]

You all make good points ladies that we deep down do know what is best for our own babies. What works in one family, may not work in another but I really appreciate you sharing your experiences, you've really helped me.

 

[ElizabethK_]

Someone once told me that, just like they have to learn how to roll over, crawl, walk, they also have to learn how to sleep. It might take some time but in the end it's for the best.

To be honest, that seems like an argument against sleep training, rather than for it. We don't actually teach our babies to roll over, crawl or walk. They do that all by themselves when they're ready.

No. We don't teach them to sleep. We give then the time to learn how to sleep, just as we do with crawling, walking and talking.

Have a nice day my friend!

 

[mel28nicole]

I'm not against CC but it sounds like this is just a nap issue? DD didn't properly nap yil she was 9 months when she started crawling. But she slept great at night so I never really bothered to train her to nap. But if I just read the post wrong and he's not STTN I don't see the harm in starting. BUT 4 months is a big time for regression so this may not be the best time for training. But DD didn't regress til 5 1/2 months so all babies are different

 

[Wnt2beAMom]

Since most of you seem experienced with controlled crying already could you please give me some advice here instead of me starting a new thread....? Please

I feel like I've totally messed up my chances of CC working for us because we gave in after DS cried for 2hours on the fourth night of us doing it. The first night I can't even remember how long he cried. The second night he cried 20minutes. The third 1.5hours...
Now because we gave in DS seems traumatised and I feel awful
He is super grumpy 24/7 and resists falling asleep EVEN while nursing. He's napped and slept in bed with me the last two nights just so I can help him get over being overtired. He loses it whenever I am out of his sight now. And if he starts crying its the most intense cry ever! I feel like because we gave in he has learned that crying harder gets him what he wants, so he just uses the intense cry right off the bat now.
From what I've now read, CC works best when baby isn't overtired (which I believe DS was/is) and to follow a wind down routine (which we aren't very consistent with either).
If we get DS on more of a consistent routine (which should help him not be overtired) can we try CC again? Even though he cried so long before falling asleep he only woke up once that whole night! And he woke up quite happy too!
Thanks...

 

[kealz]

Hi wnt2beamom,

It sounds like you're having a tough time atm but you've definitely not ruined your chances of helping your ds to sleep better. It's natural to have a little slip up when using this method as it's our instinct to go in and help more than it allows. It sounds like you know what you're doing - setting a pre-bed routine and keeping consistancy. Certainly don't feel as though you've messed it all up - nothing is done in vain if you learn from it. Just have a think about what you would like the pre-bed routine to be, e.g. turn everything off, nappy change, cuddle and story. Start the method again from the beginning and stick to it strictly. Ask yourself what you will do if his crying is too much for you to hear. I turn the volume on the intercom down low, take some deep breaths or go in the garden for a few minutes fresh air. I have resisted the urge to have a glass of wine, lol!

This method isn't for every parent and child but it worked for us in the past and it's working now so don't feel defeated. Be brave and at least give it another go but go in with a plan. Good luck. x

 

[BabyCleo]

Just wanted to pop in and say that I have started controlled crying (not CIO) with my 7 weeker. Shes always been an awesome sleeper, but I just felt like she would be better off in the crib and a little more independent. We are still just getting into it, but shes doing just fine. She fusses maybe once, if at all and I go in and pat her head then shes out like a light.

I don't think anyone needs to wait for a certain time. If you feel your baby is ready, then give it a try. If it dosent work, wait a few weeks then try again. I got some rude comments cause I tried at 7 weeks, but hey - its working just fine! Shes just as happy as she was before and my DH and I feel much calmer.

 

[ElizabethK_]

Since most of you seem experienced with controlled crying already could you please give me some advice here instead of me starting a new thread....? Please

I feel like I've totally messed up my chances of CC working for us because we gave in after DS cried for 2hours on the fourth night of us doing it. The first night I can't even remember how long he cried. The second night he cried 20minutes. The third 1.5hours...
Now because we gave in DS seems traumatised and I feel awful
He is super grumpy 24/7 and resists falling asleep EVEN while nursing. He's napped and slept in bed with me the last two nights just so I can help him get over being overtired. He loses it whenever I am out of his sight now. And if he starts crying its the most intense cry ever! I feel like because we gave in he has learned that crying harder gets him what he wants, so he just uses the intense cry right off the bat now.
From what I've now read, CC works best when baby isn't overtired (which I believe DS was/is) and to follow a wind down routine (which we aren't very consistent with either).
If we get DS on more of a consistent routine (which should help him not be overtired) can we try CC again? Even though he cried so long before falling asleep he only woke up once that whole night! And he woke up quite happy too!
Thanks...

You can definitely try again! Okay maybe this time it didn't work for you but trying again at another time when you think you and your baby are ready is the best thing actually!

And also you may have to remind your baby once in a while how to do it. My DD these past few days has been crying again before sleep, not for long though. I do leave her though and she falls asleep. It's just a refresher of what they need to do.

I made the mistake today of letting her fall asleep on me for 10 minutes and it ruined our whole bedtime! So it's back to the sleep training for us! DD cried for 10 minutes tonight and then just laid there in her bed talking to herlsef for 30 minutes!! Eventually she fell asleep.

Anyways I'm babbling.

Yes! Try again!