Controversial - Madeline McCann

[Jenine]

I know that poor Kate McCann will never stop hurting from losing her little girl for as long as she is missing, but I can't help feeling angry at her!!!

I really can't understand why those children were left alone like that - I would never dream of leaving my babies in a room far enough away from me that u couldn't hear their cries, choking, panic etc, etc - what the hell were they thinking?

It would have only taken something like a fire to start at the apartment and they would have been unable to rescue all 3 children!

Is it just me being soft or do other people feel angry that they felt it was ok to leave their children alone in their beds whilst they went out for the evening - whether they checked every half hour or not, this obviously wasn't enough to keep them safe!?

 

[sobroody]

I agree completely. Disgusting that they left them unattended, no way on this earth would i do that. So sad that she is still missing x

 

[aliss]

I genuinely don't understand why people are still mad at the parents. They made a stupid decision and their child has likely paid with her life, and they've been tarnished all over the world now for 6, going on 7 years, as horrible parents and some even say they are murderers. So, I think at some point, they should be forgiven?

Nobody thinks they will do something so stupid but I was a 911 operator for nearly 10 years and people make stupid decisions all the time, good normal sane people, things happen. We just don't necessarily bear the consequences of those stupid decisions (let alone lose our children) so it's easy to say that we would never do something so stupid. We might not leave our kids alone in the room but we might do something else similarly dumb. That time driving to the store and you picked up your phone because a text and put it back down? Somewhere else, someone might have lost control, hit a truck, and killed their child. Empathy to fellow parents, that's all.

That's a rant for a different day, I suppose. I guess this topic just gets to me. Peace

 

[chulie]

I actually kinda have to agree with aliss on this. I'm sure we've all as parents make the occasional decision to do something that without even realizing it could have been catastrophic. Even if it's running back in the house to grab your phone or camera while your kids outside. That .2 seconds could be tragic. We're all lucky enough to be able to sit here and say "we'd never"....but who knows right?

Personally, no, I'd never leave my daughter alone in a room while I went off anywhere. That's me...but like aliss said. Who knows what could be my one "stupid move" could be?? All I know is those parents have had to live with the consequences of their choice for 7 years...what they've said to themselves is probably worse yah anything we could say about them.

 

[jesssika]

Um, yes!! I spent an hour ranting about this to my OH and best friend yesterday. Really, really pisses me off! And in a foreign environment too!! It really was a very irresponsible thing to do, and it could easily have been avoided.

 

[ama]

Yes . I don't see how two educated people could make such a stupid choice in a foreign country or anywhere for that matter .....still doesn't make sense to me why they chose to do it . Yes there paying for it and it's the little girl I feel for ultimately . To me there are are things in the case that don't add up but hopefully they find her safe and well one day soon .

 

[steph.]

I agree with aliss on this one. I don't feel angry with them at all, I just feel I incredibly sorry for them and for Madeleine. Everyone makes decisions or mistakes that could lead to tragic events, but it's only when it does that they get judged.

 

[J.D.]

Yeah, I'm with the OP. There's a difference between turning your back for 5 seconds and something awful happening and intentionally eschewing a babysitting service available to you and leaving your toddlers unattended for extended periods of time. God, especially toddlers. They get up to everything! And now it's come out that Maddy was crying that she'd woken the night before wondering where her parents were the night before and they still left her? Ugh, no.

If that was a council estate single mom who'd left her kid at home and gone to the pub next door for a pint and couldn't afford a babysitter, we'd be ripping her to shreds and discussing whether she should keep her other children. But because the McCanns are rich and well connected, nothing happened.

I do feel sorry for the McCanns. I'm sure they're devastated and were convinced they could get away with a little bit of child neglect in the name of having a good time. I hope they have never done anything like that again with their twins. But I'm angry with them too.

Mostly, I feel sorry for Madeleine. If she's alive, she has probably suffered horrific abuse. And she did absolutely nothing to deserve it. She's the real innocent in this situation.

 

[Jenine]

Aliss, Chulie and Steph - you all agree that you would never leave your kids like that, we're not talking about a split second mistake here that cost them their daughter, we're talking about the fact that for every night of their holiday up to Madeline going missing, they consciously made the decision to leave their children alone, out of sight and out of ear shot but obviously not out of harms way!!!

When you see Kate McCann sitting there re-telling of how at breakfast on the morning of her disappearance, Madeline sat at the table and asked her, "why didn't you come last night when we were crying mummy". And Kate McCann says she thought nothing of the comment, don't you wonder why she didn't have the gut reaction to question straight away why they were crying, let alone to not feel guilty about the fact she obviously hadn't even realised they had been crying!?

They would have been better going on that holiday with their friends and leaving the children with grandparents. They got sent to kids clubs during the day, then left alone in their beds at night! Family holidays should be all about the kids, it's such a short snippet of your life at the end of the day but the memories will last forever!

 

[Jenine]

Yeah, I'm with the OP. There's a difference between turning your back for 5 seconds and something awful happening and intentionally eschewing a babysitting service available to you and leaving your toddlers unattended for extended periods of time. God, especially toddlers. They get up to everything! And now it's come out that Maddy was crying that she'd woken the night before wondering where her parents were the night before and they still left her? Ugh, no.

If that was a council estate single mom who'd left her kid at home and gone to the pub next door for a pint and couldn't afford a babysitter, we'd be ripping her to shreds and discussing whether she should keep her other children. But because the McCanns are rich and well connected, nothing happened.

I do feel sorry for the McCanns. I'm sure they're devastated and were convinced they could get away with a little bit of child neglect in the name of having a good time. I hope they have never done anything like that again with their twins. But I'm angry with them too.

Mostly, I feel sorry for Madeleine. If she's alive, she has probably suffered horrific abuse. And she did absolutely nothing to deserve it. She's the real innocent in this situation.

Well said - I totally agree!!!

P.s JD we have the same due date - not long now! X

 

[bluecathy1978]

Yeah, I'm with the OP. There's a difference between turning your back for 5 seconds and something awful happening and intentionally eschewing a babysitting service available to you and leaving your toddlers unattended for extended periods of time. God, especially toddlers. They get up to everything! And now it's come out that Maddy was crying that she'd woken the night before wondering where her parents were the night before and they still left her? Ugh, no.

If that was a council estate single mom who'd left her kid at home and gone to the pub next door for a pint and couldn't afford a babysitter, we'd be ripping her to shreds and discussing whether she should keep her other children. But because the McCanns are rich and well connected, nothing happened.

I do feel sorry for the McCanns. I'm sure they're devastated and were convinced they could get away with a little bit of child neglect in the name of having a good time. I hope they have never done anything like that again with their twins. But I'm angry with them too.

Mostly, I feel sorry for Madeleine. If she's alive, she has probably suffered horrific abuse. And she did absolutely nothing to deserve it. She's the real innocent in this situation.

You said everything that needed to be said and totally aggree xx Poor little girl xx

 

[IsabellaJayne]

I agree with OP. I cannot sympathise with the McCanns.It was not a 'one-off' mistake leaving their children for one night, they did it EVERY night! That's not a mistake. Theya lso drugged their children to make sure they stayed asleep?! Who does that?

Like JD said, if that was a council estate mother off to the pub the british media and public would slate her, accusing her of child abuse. There is no difference from doing that to whatt he McCanns did. And in a foreign country aswell, makes it worse.

All my sympathy lies with Madeleine, she was seriously let down by her parents and if she is alive, has suffered some serious abuse!

I hope they find her alive and well one day! And I hope her parents can live with what they've done.

Afterall, it wouldn't have happened had they been there

 

[Louise88]

I try not to read anything about the story anymore, I personally couldn't leave my children in a hotel room while I went out just like I wouldn't leave my daughter sleeping at home while I pop to the shop. But I agree with pp that were all capable of making stupid on the spot decisions that could cause some tragedy.

I don't think we will ever know what happened to Maddie wether she was murdered or snatched I think the only way we will ever know is if she has been accidently killed by her parents and they tell the truth when on their death beds.

 

[lola85]

My friends a children's holiday rep and said it was and STILL is very common for people to leave their children in bed like the mcanns did. Do I agree with it no but im more disgusted with those that havent learnt! I'm pretty sure as her parents they are aware of the mistake they made and pay for it everyday they spend without her not knowing what happened to her. I can't imagine anything worse than not knowing what happened where is she etc. personally all those perfect people cast the first stone and all that! The fact that its abroad makes little difference really people at home do the same all the time...popping out to the shop, leaving child in bed while going to neighbours BBQ/street party, letting children camp in the garden with no adults and tragic things have happened in these circumstances but no one focuses on these parents. There is nothing to say madeliene was 'drugged' other than speculation at the time just like they said they 'found' her blood in their car it all came to nothing. Why the focus isn't on the poor girl and the monsters that planned to take her is beyond me...maybe if the world hadnt jumped on the 'blame the parents' bandwagon she would have been found. I admire the way they have faced all criticism and kept her in the headlines not letting anyone forgot....there are 144 missing children in the uk but I can only name one other.

 

[PreggyEggy]

I agree that what they did was crazy irresponsible, especially since she said that Madeline had asked her where she was the next morning. That would have been enough for me to have made the decision not to do it again.

I also agree about holidays being about family, totally. We went to Mexico this year, and I did not once consider using the kids club. I know my daughter would have had no fun at all being dumped with someone she didn't know. Her days were so busy and fun (though not necessarily relaxing for me!) that she dropped like a fly the second it got dark, so we continued on with her sleeping with us in her buggy. I noticed a lot of parents doing the same. We have a hilarious photo of us at dinner, with her slumped over in a high chair, surrounded by a mariachi band playing and still not waking up!

That being said, the McCanns have suffered the ultimate punishment. There would be nothing so devastating anyone could do to punish them for their moment of stupidity like loosing their daughter has. They will have to live with this for the rest of their lives, the guilt that she'd still be there if they hadn't left her, and not knowing if she's still alive out there somewhere, suffering. Say someone was to decide they are culpable and should be punished, say jail time...what purpose would that serve really? The twins have already lost their sister and will have to live with what their parents did when they're older too, loosing their parents too would be awful.

They've all suffered enough.

 

[Oasis717]

I can't quite believe people actually would leave their children like that, personally I wouldn't leave my children for a second wether I was at home or on holiday which would be 100 times worse. I totally agree with everyone that is angry with the parents as it wasn't a split second decision or a terrible mistake. It's the little girl I feel so terribly sorry for and lord only knows what she went through. Its alien to me to leave your children this way and I will never understand it, the children could have been ill, had an accident, there been a fire or they could have been very distressed at being alone let alone the horror of what actually did happen. I don't and never will understand that they could do this and whenever I see or read anything about it it really upsets me as I feel so very sorry for that poor little girl Xxxxxx

 

[Pearls18]

There's been a lot about this in the British press again recently as they have found new information and did another (...) interview with Crimewatch. This is why the story annoys me:

- they left 3 toddlers in an unlocked room in a foreign country to eat and drink with friends, they did this every night, they said this week that the children had cried for them the night before but they still did it.

-abduction was only one thing that could (and tragically did) happen, I wouldn't leave a toddler on their own in fear of them choking, hurting themselves, waking up and wondering around-the door was unlocked! This wasn't a "little" mistake, they are wealthy, intelligent GPs and made the decision out of selfishness, not stupidity.

-hundreds of children go missing in the UK every year, not all pretty little white girls born into a wealthy family, London you have lots of children go missing from ethnic minorities (many through no parent's fault) and they do not get the attention, support and resources the McCanns have got.

- if you read the forum you will see lots of angry British people, but that is because our media is being completely blind to the parents' ignorance, usually the British media maul any little mistake a person has made, the McCanns have them wrapped around their little finger and I think it is a class issue. If a low income or benefits family left their children alone in an unlocked room at Butlins and went to the pub around the corner to have dinner resulting in an abduction the media would CRUCIFY them.

Yes as parents we make mistakes, but my kind of mistakes do not involve making an incredibly selfish decision to socialise with my friends, they were stupid, they didn't deserve what has happened but nor did Madeline or her twins who are growing up without a sibling. The parents said that with "hindsight" they wouldn't do it.....really, you need hindsight to not leave your children? And they said they don't blame themselves because they weren't the perpetrators, that might make themselves feel better but if they hadn't of made the decisions they did that abduction wouldn't have happened. I pray answers are found, but I think they and the British media should be ashamed of themselves because I think it is showing up some real problems in British society.

 

[jodiex]

There's been a lot about this in the British press again recently as they have found new information and did another (...) interview with Crimewatch. This is why the story annoys me:

- they left 3 toddlers in an unlocked room in a foreign country to eat and drink with friends, they did this every night, they said this week that the children had cried for them the night before but they still did it.

-abduction was only one thing that could (and tragically did) happen, I wouldn't leave a toddler on their own in fear of them choking, hurting themselves, waking up and wondering around-the door was unlocked! This wasn't a "little" mistake, they are wealthy, intelligent GPs and made the decision out of selfishness, not stupidity.

-hundreds of children go missing in the UK every year, not all pretty little white girls born into a wealthy family, London you have lots of children go missing from ethnic minorities (many through no parent's fault) and they do not get the attention, support and resources the McCanns have got.

- if you read the forum you will see lots of angry British people, but that is because our media is being completely blind to the parents' ignorance, usually the British media maul any little mistake a person has made, the McCanns have them wrapped around their little finger and I think it is a class issue. If a low income or benefits family left their children alone in an unlocked room at Butlins and went to the pub around the corner to have dinner resulting in an abduction the media would CRUCIFY them.

Yes as parents we make mistakes, but my kind of mistakes do not involve making an incredibly selfish decision to socialise with my friends, they were stupid, they didn't deserve what has happened but nor did Madeline or her twins who are growing up without a sibling. The parents said that with "hindsight" they wouldn't do it.....really, you need hindsight to not leave your children? And they said they don't blame themselves because they weren't the perpetrators, that might make themselves feel better but if they hadn't of made the decisions they did that abduction wouldn't have happened. I pray answers are found, but I think they and the British media should be ashamed of themselves because I think it is showing up some real problems in British society.

Well said. Couldn't have said it bettet myself. X

 

[nyaonyaokat]

This entire case has (more than) annoyed me for a long time on a wholly separate level... here in Japan it's completely legit to leave young children at home by themselves and nearly on a weekly basis you hear on the news about a 2, 3, 4 year old dying because they do this. The entire society here kinda just shrugs and thinks 'ah well what can ya do' about it. I spoke with my MIL about it and she said she used to leave DH and his older sister at home alone even when he was under 1 and she was 3 years old and go grocery shopping for a few hours because she didn't want to wake them up. My 'friend' (I've been wavering on this term for a while now) has twin toddlers and she tells me how she's left them at home for hours on end because it's hard to take two 3 year olds when she needs to go somewhere. Whenever I mention how dangerous that is she says something like "This isn't AMERICA... Japan is a safe country, they won't get murdered here like they would there". Totally not the issue... young children are simply not capable of taking care of themselves... they could set something on fire, get hurt, choke to death... what have you. No matter what I say to these Moms here they just brush it off as me being a paranoid American.

I think some people (even in the western world) just cannot think of the worst case scenario. Here it's cultural (but still a terrible idea) and I think in Madelines case she simply had bad parents who (for whatever reason) were too selfish to think rationally. I guess they lived too deep in their little selfish bubble to put their kids first. Who knows. Tragedy.

 

[nyaonyaokat]

This entire case has (more than) annoyed me for a long time on a wholly separate level... here in Japan it's completely legit to leave young children at home by themselves and nearly on a weekly basis you hear on the news about a 2, 3, 4 year old dying because they do this. The entire society here kinda just shrugs and thinks 'ah well what can ya do' about it. I spoke with my MIL about it and she said she used to leave DH and his older sister at home alone even when he was under 1 and she was 3 years old and go grocery shopping for a few hours because she didn't want to wake them up. My 'friend' (I've been wavering on this term for a while now) has twin toddlers and she tells me how she's left them at home for hours on end because it's hard to take two 3 year olds when she needs to go somewhere. Whenever I mention how dangerous that is she says something like "This isn't AMERICA... Japan is a safe country, they won't get murdered here like they would there". Totally not the issue... young children are simply not capable of taking care of themselves... they could set something on fire, get hurt, choke to death... what have you. No matter what I say to these Moms here they just brush it off as me being a paranoid American.

I think some people (even in the western world) just cannot think of the worst case scenario. Here it's cultural (but still a terrible idea) and I think in Madelines case she simply had bad parents who (for whatever reason) were too selfish to think rationally. I guess they lived too deep in their little selfish bubble to put their kids first. Who knows. Tragedy.

Forgot to mention... Leaving children at home alone in Japan is sort comparable to the way that a lot of Americans think about gun deaths... you hear all the time about young children getting a hold of their parents loaded weapons and shooting themselves, their siblings, their friends, etc... and most people just think 'ah well that will happen sometimes'. Yeah, it happens when people do stupid things like having loaded weapons within reach of children. There are stupid people everywhere, unfortunately.