Controversial - Madeline McCann

[Oasis717]

There's been a lot about this in the British press again recently as they have found new information and did another (...) interview with Crimewatch. This is why the story annoys me:

- they left 3 toddlers in an unlocked room in a foreign country to eat and drink with friends, they did this every night, they said this week that the children had cried for them the night before but they still did it.

-abduction was only one thing that could (and tragically did) happen, I wouldn't leave a toddler on their own in fear of them choking, hurting themselves, waking up and wondering around-the door was unlocked! This wasn't a "little" mistake, they are wealthy, intelligent GPs and made the decision out of selfishness, not stupidity.

-hundreds of children go missing in the UK every year, not all pretty little white girls born into a wealthy family, London you have lots of children go missing from ethnic minorities (many through no parent's fault) and they do not get the attention, support and resources the McCanns have got.

- if you read the forum you will see lots of angry British people, but that is because our media is being completely blind to the parents' ignorance, usually the British media maul any little mistake a person has made, the McCanns have them wrapped around their little finger and I think it is a class issue. If a low income or benefits family left their children alone in an unlocked room at Butlins and went to the pub around the corner to have dinner resulting in an abduction the media would CRUCIFY them.

Yes as parents we make mistakes, but my kind of mistakes do not involve making an incredibly selfish decision to socialise with my friends, they were stupid, they didn't deserve what has happened but nor did Madeline or her twins who are growing up without a sibling. The parents said that with "hindsight" they wouldn't do it.....really, you need hindsight to not leave your children? And they said they don't blame themselves because they weren't the perpetrators, that might make themselves feel better but if they hadn't of made the decisions they did that abduction wouldn't have happened. I pray answers are found, but I think they and the British media should be ashamed of themselves because I think it is showing up some real problems in British society.

I couldn't have said it better, completely agree xxx

 

[lola85]

People have short memories forgetting all the headlines slating the parents for apparently 'drugging' the children and accusing them of murder etc etc. It has nothing to do with class either if anything they are slated more for being 'intelligent educated GPs' what does that have to do with anything...if it had been some poorly educated working class family no one would be saying nevermind they didn't know any better!!! I feel for them facing this level of judgement and criticism on a daily basis as if they don't know what they did led to the kidnapping of their daughter! As for slating thrm for their resources and attention....wouldn't you throw everything you have at finding your missing child because I would! Why are their friends not criticised they were doing exactly the same?!! But again WHY is all the focus on the parents and NOT the sick evil people who took an innocent girl from her bed and her family?! All I know is I'm not perfect and we will all make atleast 1 big selfish stupid decision/mistake maybe we already have but escaped tragic consequences. I just hope none of us have to ever go through anything like what that family faces everyday. I don't think I could get up each day not knowing where my daughter was or what happened to her all the while knowing I could have prevented on that night. When my little girl arrives ill be giving her an extra big cuddle just because I'm grateful that I can!

 

[Pearls18]

People have short memories forgetting all the headlines slating the parents for apparently 'drugging' the children and accusing them of murder etc etc. It has nothing to do with class either if anything they are slated more for being 'intelligent educated GPs' what does that have to do with anything...if it had been some poorly educated working class family no one would be saying nevermind they didn't know any better!!! I feel for them facing this level of judgement and criticism on a daily basis as if they don't know what they did led to the kidnapping of their daughter! As for slating thrm for their resources and attention....wouldn't you throw everything you have at finding your missing child because I would! Why are their friends not criticised they were doing exactly the same?!! But again WHY is all the focus on the parents and NOT the sick evil people who took an innocent girl from her bed and her family?! All I know is I'm not perfect and we will all make atleast 1 big selfish stupid decision/mistake maybe we already have but escaped tragic consequences. I just hope none of us have to ever go through anything like what that family faces everyday. I don't think I could get up each day not knowing where my daughter was or what happened to her all the while knowing I could have prevented on that night. When my little girl arrives ill be giving her an extra big cuddle just because I'm grateful that I can!

I'm not slating them for getting the resources, I would be doing the same, I am saying shame on the authorities for showing complete favouritism to this high profile case trying to keep themselves in a good light, of course the McCanns aren't going to care where the money comes from they shouldn't but the fact is there are many missing children out there who are losing out because of how the funds are being handed out.

Of course the perpetrator is the worst person in this case, it goes without saying, but it's like getting angry at fire if someone falls asleep with a cigarette in their hand burning their house down, this world isn't a perfect place and as parents it is our duty to protect our children, we can't be perfect and protect them from everything but we can ensure they're not left alone in a room so we can eat tapas.

It is very niave to not think this isn't a class issue, do you have any idea of all the missing children from other communities that are not even in the headlines, let alone the headlines 6 years later, the McCanns have a press manager for goodness sake, do you see any of the missing Pakistani girls' parents in London having press managers?

This article is interesting: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22441124

As I say I am not saying the McCanns are at fault for the way they are perceived in the media, or the help they are getting, I would take everything and be grateful, but it is partly why the story is unjust to me. The fact they caused the abduction is what makes me personally angry at them, nothing else. An abducted child punishment enough? Maybe, but that doesn't mean my heart will break for them, it breaks for the little girl.

 

[kelloggs]

I would never ever in a million years leave my child in an unlocked room to go out for drinks and dinner like that. I have zero sympathy for them, frankly they should suffer for their wrong.

 

[lola85]

The people that caused the abduction are those that planned it. Yes of course the fact the children were alone is a significant contributing factor but frankly if someone is planning to take a child sadly they will at some point have an opportunity if it hadnt maddie it would have been someone else's child the next day/week/month.
The fact the Mcanns have a press manager is really irrelevant they constantly fight to keep maddie in the headlines and people aware. Some people will slate them no matter what they do/have but if they weren't doing all this it would be perceived as a sign if guilt etc
The fact you mention a missing Pakistani girl and ethnic minorities under a class issue to be honest is rather insulting. Race does not reflect class but that is a different issue.
I see people make stupid selfish decisions everyday some with tragic consequences and some without but it's not my place to judge it's very easy to sit there and say I'd never.....
All those who are perfect cast the first stone...

 

[steph.]

I would never ever in a million years leave my child in an unlocked room to go out for drinks and dinner like that. I have zero sympathy for them, frankly they should suffer for their wrong.

How can you have zero sympathy?! Can you imagine what they have been going through. They may have been selfish but no one should suffer like they are, i wouldnt wish their kind of pain on my worst enemy.

 

[Pearls18]

The people that caused the abduction are those that planned it. Yes of course the fact the children were alone is a significant contributing factor but frankly if someone is planning to take a child sadly they will at some point have an opportunity if it hadnt maddie it would have been someone else's child the next day/week/month.
The fact the Mcanns have a press manager is really irrelevant they constantly fight to keep maddie in the headlines and people aware. Some people will slate them no matter what they do/have but if they weren't doing all this it would be perceived as a sign if guilt etc
I see people make stupid selfish decisions everyday some with tragic consequences and some without but it's not my place to judge it's very easy to sit there and say I'd never.....
All those who are perfect cast the first stone...

If those parents had of been in that room she either would not have been abducted, they could have stopped it or if it had of happened my heart would break a million times over for them, because then it was unavoidable. You don't have to be a perfect parent to know what they did was plain stupidity, I simply can not have sympathy for parents that made such a monumentally bad decision and for such ridiculous and selfish reasons. There are many tragic stories in the media and my sympathies are reserved for those that have freak tragedy hit them- a car accident, illness, abduction from safe places. I can judge them and I will judge them, that does not mean I think I am perfect, lord knows I have made mistakes but I am not neglectful. What they did was borderline abuse, they neglected their parental duties and left their children in a vulnerable position- and guess what, someone took advantage of that, and I'm supposed to feel sorry for them because they got unlucky? Nope, not here. as I say I feel so sorry for that girl, either her life has been cut far too short or she is living a life she isn't supposed to, that wouldn't have happened if her damn parents had thought about her before it was too late. I'm not saying my opinion is helpful, I'm not saying it's necessary, I'm not saying I wish them any harm, and I do hope they can one day get an answer because nobody deserves to go through what they did, but what I am saying is I can only show true sympathy to people who haven't brought things on themselves. She didn't break her arm, she didn't get knocked on unconscious, she was abducted and god knows what else and for that reason I can't just overlook what happened to lead to it.

 

[lola85]

I'm not saying what they did was right and I'd like to think I'd never do it. Nor am I saying you have to have sympathy for them. All I am saying is I'm sick of hearing them being criticised for everything frankly if maddie and her kidnappers had been the focus from the start we might know what happened by now but instead it's been focused on the parents.

 

[Foxy37]

I could not bring myself to watch the crime watch programme. The whole story frustrates the he'll out of me and could have been completely avoided. Here we have 2 professional people that every night left there children alone. Like many said if they had been a young couple they would be in prison. They allege dally drugged there children, I still think something went wrong and it's been covered up. Maybe dad dealt with it and mum went along with it?? . Such a very sad story for the poor little girl who may be dead or living with another family. Maybe a childless couple that saw her being left every night. I will feel sad for the family when it's been proven that they were not at fault. Turning your eye for seconds can result in fatality or accidents but for a whole evening anything could happen xxxx

 

[Pearls18]

I'm not saying what they did was right and I'd like to think I'd never do it. Nor am I saying you have to have sympathy for them. All I am saying is I'm sick of hearing them being criticised for everything frankly if maddie and her kidnappers had been the focus from the start we might know what happened by now but instead it's been focused on the parents.

The whole investigation has been very strange, I admit I haven't followed it because as I say the whole thing doesn't sit easy with me, I hope some answers are found with this new information but you have to ask how useful information is going to be 6 years down the line. It sounds like from what I have heard the Portuguese police have a lot to answer for, I do feel sorry for them that the whole case seems to have been handled shambolically, from what I can make out.

 

[hels08]

If its happened in the uk instead if abroad theyd have been charged with child neglect xx

 

[PreggyEggy]

I would never ever in a million years leave my child in an unlocked room to go out for drinks and dinner like that. I have zero sympathy for them, frankly they should suffer for their wrong.

How can you have zero sympathy?! Can you imagine what they have been going through. They may have been selfish but no one should suffer like they are, i wouldnt wish their kind of pain on my worst enemy.

I agree with you completely, no one deserves that kind of pain. No one.

 

[Pearls18]

I would never ever in a million years leave my child in an unlocked room to go out for drinks and dinner like that. I have zero sympathy for them, frankly they should suffer for their wrong.

How can you have zero sympathy?! Can you imagine what they have been going through. They may have been selfish but no one should suffer like they are, i wouldnt wish their kind of pain on my worst enemy.

I agree with you completely, no one deserves that kind of pain. No one.

I agree too, as strong as my feelings are on the topic I don't think it was "deserved", I think it was avoidable, but wouldn't wish anyone in the world the sorrow and unimaginable pain of losing a child, it is a complex case and the issue of sympathy is complicated for it, but it could never be completely absent.

 

[aliss]

And exactly how many more years or decades should they suffer through the "horrible parents, I would never do such a thing"?

They are already suffering until the day they die, unfortunately I think most of us are aware that Madeline's suffering is probably long over, at what point can two people who made a stupid decision be forgiven for their foolishness? 7 years of suffering is still not enough? Geez, even people who do horrible things and reform themselves in prison are given a pat on the back, and these two are still dragged through the mud.

Does anyone here (not from North America) know who John Walsh was? Very famous for America's Most Wanted, his efforts led to the capture of hundreds of criminals, including child abductors. Why? Because him and his wife left their young child alone at a Sears while shopping for less than 10 minutes, he was raped and murdered. Would you ever do such a thing? Probably not, I'm sure after 30 years they have suffered enough. But they are forgiven, and have raised awareness/helped others.

I guess I don't understand why the McCanns needed to be treated with such contempt so many years later. Are they on TV saying that they had a great dinner and it was worth it or something? Maybe it makes people feel better about themselves to proudly proclaim that they would never do such a thing and how they should never be forgiven. Speaks more about that person than it does about the McCanns, sorry.

 

[Zuki]

I agree with the OP, especially as the location they were at apparently offered babysitting and they opted not to use it either... It just doesn't add up to me.

 

[Pearls18]

And exactly how many more years or decades should they suffer through the "horrible parents, I would never do such a thing"?

They are already suffering until the day they die, unfortunately I think most of us are aware that Madeline's suffering is probably long over, at what point can two people who made a stupid decision be forgiven for their foolishness? 7 years of suffering is still not enough? Geez, even people who do horrible things and reform themselves in prison are given a pat on the back, and these two are still dragged through the mud.

Does anyone here (not from North America) know who John Walsh was? Very famous for America's Most Wanted, his efforts led to the capture of hundreds of criminals, including child abductors. Why? Because him and his wife left their young child alone at a Sears while shopping for less than 10 minutes, he was raped and murdered. Would you ever do such a thing? Probably not, I'm sure after 30 years they have suffered enough. But they are forgiven, and have raised awareness/helped others.

I guess I don't understand why the McCanns needed to be treated with such contempt so many years later. Are they on TV saying that they had a great dinner and it was worth it or something? Maybe it makes people feel better about themselves to proudly proclaim that they would never do such a thing and how they should never be forgiven. Speaks more about that person than it does about the McCanns, sorry.

They are not treated with contempt, they are mostly well regarded by the press that reports about them here (yes there have been incidences of them being blamed etc but libel court cases have been/are being held) they get a lot of positive media coverage, a lot of TV time, they are always very well treated by TV presenters, the angle of "why did you leave your child" is very rarely discussed now- they are very much seen as the victims (which they are I don't deny that). The public is very supportive of finding Madeline. I think that is why you will find people in forums such as this still mention the circumstances of the abduction because everyone else, apart from a few conspirators who think much more strongly about their blame, seems to have forgotten. I don't want them to be poorly treated and don't want them to be guilt tripped more than I assume they are doing to themselves, I am glad the public is on board with finding her and aren't just saying well "it's your own fault, you deal with it" but that doesn't mean everyone should turn a blind eye forgetting how this all happened, because as you say raising awareness is at least a small glimmer of hope in this.

 

[aliss]

Sure, but this OP has nothing to do with raising awareness and moreso about how the McCanns were crappy parents. I think after 6 years and a likely dead child, they realize they were being crappy parents that night. People can promote awareness without focusing on how stupid the parents were that night. Judgement errors and stupidity are different things.

Yes, class is an issue here. People seem to think a medical degree somehow gives you a heightened common sense. It does not. I've worked with child abductions before as a police dispatcher (which is perhaps why I am more sympathetic as I cannot even describe to you the voice of a mother whose child is missing) and people of all classes and educations are equally stupid in their lapses of judgement.

 

[Pearls18]

Sure, but this OP has nothing to do with raising awareness and moreso about how the McCanns were crappy parents. I think after 6 years and a likely dead child, they realize they were being crappy parents that night. People can promote awareness without focusing on how stupid the parents were that night. Judgement errors and stupidity are different things.

Yes, class is an issue here. People seem to think a medical degree somehow gives you a heightened common sense. It does not. I've worked with child abductions before as a police dispatcher (which is perhaps why I am more sympathetic as I cannot even describe to you the voice of a mother whose child is missing) and people of all classes and educations are equally stupid in their lapses of judgement.

It's a controversial issue and people have the right to debate it, whatever the intention the issue being discussed will remind parents (not that many would need it I am sure) about the impact of the decisions they make. To me it goes down to that old saying of all publicity is good publicity and I bet the McCanns know that better than anyone (they have worked with Rupert Murdoch after all) and while they know not everyone has positive and supportive things to say about them, they know it is better for them to be said and to keep the story and search for Madeline alive than to be forgotten. So no, I don't think it is disrespectful for people to discuss the case because I think it is actually better for the McCanns to have the story still being the height of discussion than it is for people to be quiet and forget, they know this, they have worked the media very well to their advantage which I am not knocking them for.

 

[lauraairving]

I saw this on Facebook and it's made me question the whole thing loads. The right e fit was released on crime watch and looks exactly like Gerry mccan :/

 

[Hunbun]

I think hind sight is a wonderful thing. I would never leave my child alone unattended like this but it is cases like Madeline that show the dangers of doing these things and put you off. They probably did it a million times every time they were on holiday with nothing bad happening and therefor felt it was ok.

I agree with Aliss that they have done wrong and they know that their actions are partly responsible for the loss of their daughter but that it was ultimately an honest mistake that they can never take back. They will never forgive themselves for this but it isn't anyone else's place to judge. We can all sit there and think we would never do anything as silly or stupid but until something goes wrong you just don't know.