Coping with Pregnancy of Others

[minties]

You're gonna be thinking "what the hell is this bitch doing posting in here, she's got a toddler and she's pregnant!".

We TTC for 8 years before we had Thomas, and trust me, I was a super jealous bitter cow to anyone with kids. The icing on the cake came for me when my uncle and his partner accidentally got pregnant in their 40s.

Now I feel guilty for having success, the bad feelings just never leave.

I don't belong with LTTCers any more, but regular women don't get the struggle I had and relatives are all smug "I told you it would happen when you relaxed".

I wish you all the very best!

 

[Kimiw]

Oh ladies, I love you all so much! You always make me realize I am not alone and I am not the only one who avoids family reunions, baptisims, or puts on a smile for my pregnant friends and family members. I know what its like, and these last 6 years have been sooooo hard. SO many people ask us when we are going to have children. One of my DH's co-workers had the nerve to ask him when we were going to have kids, my DH's response was, "someday", and her response to that was, "what are you afraid of? If you are one of those couples who think that they need to wait until they are ready, you will never have kids because you will never be what they call "ready"." My DH was PISSED. During the first 3 years people just asked us when, 4, 5, and now 6 years down the road people just assume we are baby haters and have something aginst having kids, and EVERYBODY has something to say about it!

 

[aintlifegrand]

You're gonna be thinking "what the hell is this bitch doing posting in here, she's got a toddler and she's pregnant!".

This made me laugh really hard. BTW, all of us LTTTC appreciate any advice

 

[AMP26]

I ALWAYS find it hard to hear about others getting pregnant... especially my 19 year old neice who called me first because she just couldn't believe it happened after only trying for one month. That was a fun one. The only one I couldn't get mad at was my BFF. She started trying after me, immediately got pregnant with #1 and just wrote me along rambling e-mail to tell me how sorry she is that she's pregnant with #2. At least I feel like she respects me enough to be worried about my feelings on what should be her big exciting announcement. She is probably the only pregnant person I don't get upset around.

Oh, and then there's the one friend who has had 4 kids in 6 years. She offered me her eggs and her uterus... told me God compelled her to offer. Thanks, but I think I'll stick to injections!

 

[tamithomas]

I ALWAYS find it hard to hear about others getting pregnant... especially my 19 year old neice who called me first because she just couldn't believe it happened after only trying for one month. That was a fun one. The only one I couldn't get mad at was my BFF. She started trying after me, immediately got pregnant with #1 and just wrote me along rambling e-mail to tell me how sorry she is that she's pregnant with #2. At least I feel like she respects me enough to be worried about my feelings on what should be her big exciting announcement. She is probably the only pregnant person I don't get upset around.

Oh, and then there's the one friend who has had 4 kids in 6 years. She offered me her eggs and her uterus... told me God compelled her to offer. Thanks, but I think I'll stick to injections!

omg those types of pregnant woman are soooooo annoying! my now ex friend due to kicking her to the curb last week for once again not caving any curtosy of letting me know about her BFP before blasting it on bragbook. Anyways like clock work she's BFP with her 3rd at 4 months after giving birth which her first was an accident to begin with. I wasn't offered help or anything, instead I was called a selfish b***h and think too highly of myself to expect special treatment. Like really, I started TTC before you even conceived your accident and I have no right to be bitter? grrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[aintlifegrand]

My sister in law just posted a picture of her bump on Facebook. It makes me so sad I am not thrilled for them. I hope some day I can get past all of this. Its like a punch in the gut every time I see a picture.

 

[hopefull85]

My sister in law just posted a picture of her bump on Facebook. It makes me so sad I am not thrilled for them. I hope some day I can get past all of this. Its like a punch in the gut every time I see a picture.

yup i know how you feel my sis in law just had her second a month ago and they are shacked up in my sister's house. my so called bestfriend just announced to me that she is 16 weeks pregnant with her second and yet she is another one that just has them so she can get more money from the government. her being pregnant is what pisses me off the most. if you read my last few thread(s) then you will see why. i hope to get pregnant Aug/Sept with my first round of Clomid. That way the ones around me can see how its done without government help. im just not in a happy mood at the moment. it just turns my stomach into knots

 

[aintlifegrand]

I just posted about this on my tumblr, and have found it to be super therapeutic, if you have a chance, give it a read

 

[tamithomas]

I just posted about this on my tumblr, and have found it to be super therapeutic, if you have a chance, give it a read

I just had a read. I'm so sorry to hear about the struggles, but can definitely relate. I hate being the only one at my family reunion who's still had no BFP yet. Your advice is definitely potent and true, it's just harder then it sounds. Trust me when I'm around my pregnant friends i genuinely act happy for them and smile, only to come home and cry myself to sleep. Just hoping to see an end to this journey eventually and finally be on the other end for once lol

 

[SimplicityD]

Hey people

I thought I was the only person who felt like this! My sister in law is pregnant and I felt sick inside when she told us, it is her 3rd baby and I am so happy for her, but I feel like why cant that be me?! I have a big family so I am so used to Christmas and birthdays, that bit don't bother me, its when you have to go to christenings or when they have just had the baby at the hospital....that's hard...

x

 

[curlygurl]

We just had a couple who is pretty close with us tell us that they are pregnant but hadn't even gone to doctor to confirm, they weren't really trying, and weren't really happy about it. They know about our struggles and my recent miscarriage, and yet they still were sort of rubbing it in to us. Everytime I think of them I feel like I could vomit. I can't help but feeling that it should be me, and not them.

 

[AndyD]

I just posted about this on my tumblr, and have found it to be super therapeutic, if you have a chance, give it a read[/QUOTE

great post! thanks!

 

[AndyD]

i relate TOTALLY. thinking of taking a leave of absence from facebook to maintain a modicum of sanity....

 

[moose31]

i relate TOTALLY. thinking of taking a leave of absence from facebook to maintain a modicum of sanity....

omg me too I just blocked a bunch of "friends" ( not close friends just some girls i worked with a while back) who have been posting their symptoms and bump shots since 5 WEEKS !!!!! I think the one girl posted the pic of HPT before the pee was dry !!!!!

 

[wonderstars]

I had a point about last June where I was deeply depressed about it all. I began trying in October 2010. I have 4 close girlfriends, we've been friends since high school. Since I began trying, we're now at:

Friend #1 - 36 weeks with number 2
Friend #2 - 3 month old
Friend #3 - 6 month old
Friend #4 - 10 month old



When Friend #2 announce her pregnancy in October, my Gyne had failed to do my HSG because he had too much difficulty getting the catheter in. She told us at lunch. She had been trying for 2 months. I teared up and told them I had to leave. Her entire pregnancy was documented on Facebook and I had to go off for a while.

Facebook now has an unsubscribe button where I don't have to cut her off but none of her stories are posted. It's fantastic and highly suggested. This way I don't feel like such a b*tch.

I totally get where you all are coming from. It was such a long, hard journey to get to where I am. I am finally able to go to lunch with all of them and when they talk about all their baby stuff, I just say "Girls, I'm taking all of this down so when I'm pregnant I just get to learn from your experiences". It at least gets us out of the awkwardness.

Now if my IUIs and IVFs don't work, it'll be hello psychiatrist. I also fear that I will seclude myself to the point where I lose my lovely ladies.

 

[aintlifegrand]

^ I know the feeling. I could already feel myself pulling away from pregnant friends and family. Starting my tumblr has helped me actually write it down, and has made me feel better. I still have a hard time being around pregnant people

 

[TTCMetalMom]

I was disowned from my family but I still check that they're okay by looking them up on facebook, I see my oldest sister who has never wanted kids, in hospital holding a newborn...I didn't even know that she was pregnant. She's always said that she's never wanted kids and would get an abortion straight away if she ever got pregnant.

Also a lot of my close friends have babies/are pregnant, I can't help but feel tearful. One of them even offered to be a surrogate, just casually via comment on a pregnant friends status. Just...what?

 

[aintlifegrand]

So I ended up going on the family vacation, and will say it was very difficult being around my younger pregnant sister in law. It represents a kind of failure to me.

 

[PinkPeony]

I know what you mean!! I just got back from a family vacay with my bro and sis in law & my little 2 year old nephew. Everyone (my parents included) kept giving them a hard time - He needs a sibling!! (they're not planning on having another and are pretty sensitive about my parents making them feel like they're bad ppl for not providing him with a sibling)... then they turned on me! He needs a cousin!! I had just gotten AF that day. When I finally had a moment alone I bawled my eyes out. It's so hard. I had been planning that trip for ages and I thought I'd at least be preg. If I had it my way I'd have a 1 year old. It doesn't help to have my family point out that there's something missing.

 

[ZekeyMylo2010]

My brother announced on the photo that his girlfriend was pregnant due October well I could contain my emotion and just cried over the phone.. It's was dreadful. My nephew is due in 2 months and I'm dreading it.. I just dunno what I'm going to do? I try not to think of it.. Luckily I live over a hour away so they aren't on my door step but it doesn't stop the photos on Facebook popping up!! hmmm