Could do with some advice please.

[little_cookie]

I made a thread on here a few weeks ago about my ex seeing Aden. Basically (to cut a long story short) he was having him but it was his Mum looking after him while he went out with friends.

He promised he would change and I agreed to give him another chance but told him that the overnights would stop. Anyway, he has blown it again and to make matters worse his Mum has caught him with marijuana and has threatened to kick him out.

I just don't trust him at all and Aden doesn't go there three times a week to see his Grandma (although I obviously don't begrudge her spending time with her grandson)- he goes to see his Dad and from what it sounds like he has been in contact with my ex when he has been high/coming down from a high.

It all came out tonight when his Mum decided I had a right to know as his sons mother as to what was going on. I'm really pissed off she is allowing her son to treat her like a free babysitter and she isn't encouraging her son to enjoy his son but I have a lot of respect for her that A) she told me the truth and B) that she has been looking after my son so well.

I have told her I am not happy having my son around someone on drugs and until I have solid evidence that he is willing to make an effort that I won't be allowing him to see his son- and if he doesn't pull his finger out in the next few weeks he isn't going to get to meet his second son/daughter either.

Am I being unreasonable? I think a third chance is just one too many- especially considering the drugs as well.

I would really appreciate some impartial advice

 

[missk1989]

You are definitely doing the right thing. I wouldn't let him near my kids if I were you. Your lucky his mum is so honest

 

[Miss Vintage]

Yes, you are doing the right thing, your son needs to be in a safe environment and you need to feel reassured that he is being looked after properly. As you say, his grandmother is doing a good job, but your ex needs to step up and be there for his son.

 

[MrsPMP]

Right thing. Don't begrudge his Granny tho, if you don't want him over there, perhaps she can come over yours or take him out for the day.

 

[Indi84]

I'd never let someone on drugs near my children, related or not. It was good of his mum to be honest, I hope she gets to continue seeing your lo

 

[Hunbun]

I think it is a smart move to stop him seeing LO for a while. I wouldn't say never, but at least long enough for him to realise he is being an idiot. If that day never comes then it just shows you what he is really like.

I wouldn't hold it against his mum that she is doing the babysitting. It was lucky she was so honest with you. Tbh she probably enjoys spending the time with her grandson. I would just be as honest with her as she is with you and hope the relationship continues to be as honest.

 

[little_cookie]

I would never stop her from seeing her Grandson- never. As I said I have a lot of respect for her for being honest with me. I'm sure we will work something out.

Thank you everyone.

 

[Bevziibubble]

You have definitely made the right decision. I wouldn't want a LO around someone who is on drugs. It was good of his mum to tell you.

 

[rebeccalouise]

yes, you're doing the right thing. I think you're being very mature & reasonable about it all.