could really use some advice!

Clay0109

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Hi everyone

i have 2 boys (8 yo and 5 yo) and I feel so frustrated and lost as my eldest has started not wiping after going for a poop.
i feel like I’ve tried everything, I’ve sat him down and had a conversation about it, I’ve punished him (banning toys/PS4/TV), I’ve shouted at him and I’ve sat and helped him, I'm really worried he’s going to get an infection.

I’m at my wits end I really don’t know what else to do!

He eats a healthy diet and gets enough fibre and has no illness, I think he’s just lazy and just gets up after pooping and walks away without wiping, flushing or washing his hands. I don’t want him to get bullied because he also does it a school.

His younger brother can clean himself quite well and always calls if he needs help so I really don’t understand why my eldest doesn’t.

sorry but I could just sit and cry I am so lost with this

Thanks for reading and if you have any advice it would be greatly appreciated x
 
Treat him like potty training again. Special undies, treats, praise, etc. Get him flushable wipes, maybe he doesnt like how TP feels. Is your toilet loud? Maybe switch your flusher for a low flow/quiet one..its an easy DIY switch. Get him special soap and play his favorite song while he washes his hands. What about a bidet? It could just be a condiment bottle with warm water.
 
Treat him like potty training again. Special undies, treats, praise, etc. Get him flushable wipes, maybe he doesnt like how TP feels. Is your toilet loud? Maybe switch your flusher for a low flow/quiet one..its an easy DIY switch. Get him special soap and play his favorite song while he washes his hands. What about a bidet? It could just be a condiment bottle with warm water.

hi
Our toilet is quite quiet and we have flushable wipes as I thought it might be easier than tp, thank you for your other suggestions I’ll give them a try.

Thank you x
 
Did he used to flush and wipe but now his behaviour has changed?
 
Hi all,

just wanted to give an update on the situation, I don’t want to jinx anything but I think we’ve cracked it!!

Last week I was feeling very low and I broke down at the school because it was all just getting too much to handle and I was feeling (at the time) like a failure. The school offered support and made me feel like I wasn’t the only one that had to deal with it. I took on some of the advice given in this post and brought some new special soap and some potty training pads (to go in his underwear to catch the poop so I’m not having to buy new pants all the time) he broke down in tears when I showed the pads to him. We had a long chat about it all, and thankfully there were no issues that raised any red flags, since then he has been clean everyday.

Thank you
 
That's great news that things have improved :)
 

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