I can see what you're saying. The reason I gave the advice I did though was because as a single mom, I can tell you that all the duties involved (not just with the child care itself, but the chores associated with it) are overwhelming to manage all on your own and she resents that he hasn't had to do any of it. You'll see what I mean once you have your baby - they are constant work. Even when they're asleep, there will be stuff that to do. I was mainly thinking she could show him how to do stuff like prepare bottles or other stuff she does for Emma, which he has to learn anyway. That way he would see his daughter and get a feel for it all before just taking the baby away.
I think the main reason we all suggested he put off the legal action (for now) was because it may kill any civility and amiability thats possible between him and his ex. She would resent him forever for it, and the child would grow up the hostility. If things dont improve after some time, Id say he should consider it again but the ideal scenario would be to have them work out things between themselves and even be friends one day. If thats possible, I think he should give it a shot before taking her to court.
If youre not a single mom, then I dont think you really relate to why the ex has been so emotional and hostile. Being pregnant and alone" and not having an OH like 80% of the other moms out there is very isolating and an incredibly hard. My baby is nearly 9 months old now, and I still cringe when people ask me about her Dad or "my husband" and I feel awkward explaining that Im single and feel like shit afterwards every time. Having solicitors come after her now will be very upsetting for everyone involved and itll take forever for her to recover and forgive him. It sounds like shes coming around now, and I really think its really worth giving a fair chance before he starts getting lawyers and judges involved.
Oh, I am sure that it is hard to do things on your own and to have to take care of a child that should have had two parents to help ease the burden of the care taking. But from his description of her she doesn't seem to have moved on. And this happened to a friend of mine, he offered to come over and help with the housework, or give her a mothers day gift from the child. and she took it as they were semi back together and for 6 years. And he still had a girlfriend and had a baby with the new girlfriend. But she never gave up hope that they would be together because she mistook his helping out in her home for the child's sake, as being there for HER and wanting to be with her. Not the daughter. So after 6 years she finally realized he wasn't leaving the girlfriend for her and it all exploded. She took away all his abilities to see his daughter and was full of hate for him for "betraying" her again.
That is what I meant by wait till you know she knows it's not going to happen between the two of them because in the end, that can blow up in his face.
entireley up to you if you want to take offence at that post. I apologise, that was not my intention.
What I was merely trying to point out is that just by putting your name on the BC you will gain a responsiblity to keep TRACK of your daughter, meaning that your ex can update you on your daughter, but you also need to contact her regarding her.
Also, what you are thinking of is a court order regarding taking her out of the country. Any mother can do it, as all she needs to do is show her BC (whether your name on it or not) and that gives her permission to take her abroad is she wants to (i'm not saying she is going to run away to america with her, i am just saying for holidays sake shall we say) If you have a concern about her taking her out of the country you need to apply for a court order.
and having his name on the birth certificate not only shows the world that he acknowledges her birth and accepts her, but it also lets HER know he cares enough about her to do so. And having formal acknowledgement of the child being part his does give him parental rights over the child that he otherwise would not have.
actually in regards to taking her out of the country, she cannot even get your daughter a passport without the signature and consent of both parties. I am currently looking into getting the citizenship and passports for my son once he is born, and it states that both parents have to be in agreement or there is no passport issued. So she cannot just take her out of the country anytime. And if you take a child out of the country without the other parents knowledge you can file for kidnapping and the mother would instantly either have to return with your daughter or be charged as a kidnapper.
And those things can only be done if you are formally acknowledge as the child's father, as long as the father legally is "unknown" she is right, she can just take your daughter out of the country and you get no say in it. Which is also why I said you shouldn't stop going to court.
A fathers rights to a child are extremely limited as it is, so much power is in the mothers hands. So if you are willing and able to be a responsible father...then I say go for it and fight for your rights with your daughter. Just because it might create animosity NOW between you and the girls mother, doesn't mean it will always be that way. Yes, it can make her feel backed into a corner atm, but in the long run it isn't about the mother, it's about your daughter and you and being able to have structure and be in her life in a fatherly manor, not at the whim of the mother and on her benevolence.
obviously it's entirely up to you but just something to think about. 
