Cracking up :(

[katieandfras]

Hello all

Quick back story for thos who dont know, had my little boy Oliver at 33 weeks gest - he is is SCBU, feeding well, breathing on his own and just needing to put a bit of fat on and maintain his temp. I have a daughter at home is is almost 18 months and just need to know it gets easier really?

He was doing so well and they were talking about me "rooming in"/bathing him and on the right track to be going home. Well yesterday, the most moddy, miserable nurse was working and has made me feel utter shit! She was not encouraging at all, Oliver has had his feeding tube out for days now, yet becuse he took a max of 5 minutes fussing before his feed (BF) she was like "right dont want him starving, and put the tube back down! He was fine all day and took straight from me for 20 mins at a time and he never had to be fed through the tube at all! Yet she wants to keep it in anyway!! Then all day she was negative saying, he is doing ok but he shouldnt have 4 blankets on him he needs to do maintain his temp himself!! I felt like saying well sorry he weighs bloody 4lb what do you expect!!

Anyway, aside from that, my daughter at home hates me at the moment. She is acting up, thrashing about when she sees me, doesnt want to go enar me and is waking up hysterical every day and its all my fault!! I have to be at hospital 8-8 for feeds and theres no time to go home in between. I dont know who needs me more at the minute and Its making me feel so shit.

Just wish he was home so we could all be together

 

[whistle]

Aww, poor you, what a bitch! I hated people like that. I used to go mad the amount of times I watched a nurse decide to put my LOs oxygen up straight away instead of waiting for him to stabilise (which he always did) or repositioning him to help him breathe better. Toward the end those things drive you crazy, especially when you can see it makes your baby look less ready for home than he is.

Are you ever there for Drs round? I would just say to the Dr as if confused, 'oh, I'm surprised LO has had his tube back in since he's gone 24 (or however many) hours on sucking feeds only'. Also do you get on well with any of the other nurses? Especially any of the senior nurses? You could raise the question with them so at least the issue is discussed and there's a chance it'll get removed.

I feel for you. It is hellish. But it does end, and sometimes in the most unexpected way. We had quite a bad day, and I was feeling so down, but I went in the next morning and a dr arrived and said 'he can go home tomorrow.' keep your chin up, you your LO sounds like he is doing so well.

 

[25weeker]

sending you lots of

The grumpy nurses are awful and do have a tendency to make you feel worse. It is a shame as they are in a minority but they are the ones that stand out the most. Sounds like your little boy is doing great and should be home soon.

As for your little girl. Holly is now 19 months corrected and if I go away with work overnight she is always a bit funny with me the next day but she soon gets over it. A few days ago I dropped her into nursery instead of her dad and she huffed with him that evening but she always forgets it soon enough and so will your lo once you are home again.

Take care

 

[stepmum]

Oh god, you could possibly be in the hospital that I had my Oliver in and possibly the exact same nurse, what are the chances hey, but still this sounds familiar.

I remember sobbing my eyes out all night towards the end of Oliver's stay as one particular nurse who we didn't quite take to in the first place had completely crushed me. We had days and days of numerous nurses encouraging us and telling us to expect to be bringing him home soon and when we tried to get a definite answer from her, all we got was things like "well he is still tiny and we estimate going home dates as the due date" and "you must remember he's not supposed to be here yet" - god that one always got me, yes I know it's true but he is here and it doesn't make it any easier! Well she basically gave us no hope at all, but then I suppose it's more professional not to. I just think there is a minority that lack compassion. And we believed her as she was the senior nurse. Oliver was discharged a few days later. :happy dance:

I hope you get to bring him home soon.

 

[katieandfras]

Oh god, you could possibly be in the hospital that I had my Oliver in and possibly the exact same nurse, what are the chances hey, but still this sounds familiar.

I remember sobbing my eyes out all night towards the end of Oliver's stay as one particular nurse who we didn't quite take to in the first place had completely crushed me. We had days and days of numerous nurses encouraging us and telling us to expect to be bringing him home soon and when we tried to get a definite answer from her, all we got was things like "well he is still tiny and we estimate going home dates as the due date" and "you must remember he's not supposed to be here yet" - god that one always got me, yes I know it's true but he is here and it doesn't make it any easier! Well she basically gave us no hope at all, but then I suppose it's more professional not to. I just think there is a minority that lack compassion. And we believed her as she was the senior nurse. Oliver was discharged a few days later. :happy dance:

I hope you get to bring him home soon.

Thank you all for replies

I keep being toldthat his due date is usually when they go home, but then you get conflicting info from a different nurse each day who will say hes doing so well he ll be home soon!

This nurse was senior too - she just really got me down and i pray I dont have to spend another 12 hours with her!!

Its been a week so far and the doctor said they expect him to be home beteen 35-37 weeks - so hopefully in time for xmas!! Just want the jaundice to go and to fatten him up!!!

 

[stepmum]

Oh god, you could possibly be in the hospital that I had my Oliver in and possibly the exact same nurse, what are the chances hey, but still this sounds familiar.

I remember sobbing my eyes out all night towards the end of Oliver's stay as one particular nurse who we didn't quite take to in the first place had completely crushed me. We had days and days of numerous nurses encouraging us and telling us to expect to be bringing him home soon and when we tried to get a definite answer from her, all we got was things like "well he is still tiny and we estimate going home dates as the due date" and "you must remember he's not supposed to be here yet" - god that one always got me, yes I know it's true but he is here and it doesn't make it any easier! Well she basically gave us no hope at all, but then I suppose it's more professional not to. I just think there is a minority that lack compassion. And we believed her as she was the senior nurse. Oliver was discharged a few days later. :happy dance:

I hope you get to bring him home soon.

Thank you all for replies

I keep being toldthat his due date is usually when they go home, but then you get conflicting info from a different nurse each day who will say hes doing so well he ll be home soon!

This nurse was senior too - she just really got me down and i pray I dont have to spend another 12 hours with her!!

Its been a week so far and the doctor said they expect him to be home beteen 35-37 weeks - so hopefully in time for xmas!! Just want the jaundice to go and to fatten him up!!!

Aaah the jaundice was our hold up, he kept getting taken out of the incubator and into a hot cot and he'd be back in there the next morning when we got there, it's heartbreaking. Hang in there hun, he'll be home soon

 

[vermeil]

are you travelling far to go to the hospital? Perhaps you could benefit from the many hospital programs that allow you to live close to your little one? I guess that wouldn`t be practical with your daughter,hmm... *frowns* Do you have family that could watch her during feeds, while you leave to do so?

Most hospitals here have 1-2 `hotels`just across the street where parents can stay at very affordable rates, and young kids are welcome of course.

Sorry to hear you`ve had a bad nurse. Perhaps ask at the nurse`s counter if your little guy can be assigned another one.

 

[katieandfras]

I only live about 10 minute drive away, but feeds are every 4 hours, and I have to be there every 3 in case he stirs early, its just by the time he's fed and I ve driven home its time to come back

We don't have any of the hotel things here - they have a parents room which Is essentially a room with a microwave/fridge and a table but sould be nice to have somewhere to sleep for an hour!

I am in a better frame of mind today though as I came home at 330 yesterday and not going back until this morning so spend some quality time with my daughter and she seems much happier

 

[Foogirl]

I would be asking that nurse to consult with others before making decisions. Remember, you can challenge them. In our hospital they would only consider a feeding tube going back in if there was sustained weightless.

I think limiting the time at the hospital is a great idea. You do need to be sure your 18 month old gets time with you too. Being at the hospital for every daytime feed isn't absolutely vital, after all, the hospital feeds over night so doing a few daytime feeds in the same way won't hinder progress. Your wee girl will appreciate some mummy time and that should help with the tantrums. Establishing breastfeeding with a preemie is hard but you will get there. Fingers crossed you have her home soon.