Crib.. OH's father.. Ranting.. (advice?)

[bsd]

So the OH's father wanted to buy us the crib, right after we told them we were pregnant him and OH's step mom offered. We were more than grateful obviously because that's a really big gift. His dad seemed really sentimental about it, it is his first grandchild. (but he hasn't been too good of a dad to my OH in the past.. but they wanted to be involved now so we put whats past in the past).

So anyway they are procrastinators really bad we've been asking them this whole pregnancy about it and they FINALLY ordered it two weeks ago! I noticed today how complicated shipping items to the baby store can be (as I ordered something of the same baby store website today) and was worried they procrastinated with picking it up, which you cannot do you only have 5 days to go get it.. and I know it should process and ship with in two weeks so I was worried and was messaging the OH's step mom about it. She assured me that it was on its way and when they pick it up from the store my OH's dad will come drop it off at our house, and help set it up with my OH.

THAT was my problem!! I've been waiting for this crib my entire pregnancy, setting it up is the fun part! I've pictured it in my head for months, I've been working hard on getting my nursery all put together and that crib is literally the last touch, the icing on the cake! I am so sentimental about that stuff I wanted to set it up with my OH, I didn't want it any other way!

So now I'm the bitch in the situation, because what am I suppose to say? "Uh no, thank you for buying it for us but I really want to set it up. With out you."
I feel bad because I know my OH's dad wants to do it to (I mean who doesn't want to do that stuff, its like a giant fun puzzle ) He probably want's to 'bond with his son' or whatever. But too bad! This is my first baby I want to set up his first crib! You had three kids you got to set up their crib!!

So my poor OH is in the middle of this and I feel really bad I just want to say oh whatever you bought it so I guess you get to do it with him, but I cant!! This is so sentimental to me I'd probably be crying the whole time they are doing it because I want to do it!! I know it seems silly but I really really reallllllly want to do it. Its not something I'm willing to give up, so there is no way around it we have to tell him "sorry, we really wanted to set it up on our own!"

(and they aren't the understanding type of people either.. they will think I'm being selfish and ridiculous and talk shit about it and act immature)

So why do I feel so bad then!? and WHYYY am I in this situation!!! I've literally been bawling all night because I'm so upset with this.

 

[ClairAye]

Tbh I set my cot up on my own, no insturctons at 39 + 6 and it was a fucking nightmare! Mainly for the work and the bending down etc (I was huge though) I don't really have much advice sorry, apart from just tell them that again and again :/ but I hope you can work something out!

 

[xVAP]

I'm only about 8 weeks pregnant so I have no real advice as I'm no where near being in this situation yet. I hope they understand that this is something you wanted to do with just you and your OH.

 

[bsd]

Thank you ladies!
I know it's probably going to be a pain in the butt, but I wanted to have my OH and I spend hours figuring it out.. I'm honestly really looking forward to it and I'm going to make him do all the strenuous stuff of course I just feel so guilty because his dad is buying it an all.. I really don't know why I feel guilty because of everything he's done to us in the past. But there is no way around it there's no way I'm willing to give up this experience! And I know he's probably going to make a big deal out of it too, but my OH said he's going to call him tonight and explain everything to him.. thank gosh for my lovely OH

 

[JessicaM123]

Why don't you all do it? to be honest i reckon id love to be around and watch my OH put up the cot but i wouldn't be that fussed about helping? It should be something fun to do, and its so nice that your FIL has bought you a crib. Id say grab the instructions, be the bossy controller of the puzzle and let them do the manual labor while you drink tea and shout instructions haha

i wouldn't get upset about it, Yes it would be a lovely thing to do you and your OH, but in 4 weeks your going to have a beautiful baby and whoever put the cot up is not going to fuss baby or you by then

If it still bothers you when it arrives, id say speak to your FIL yourself, or your MIL if that relationship is better, and just say how you would love to put the crib up on your own.

So jealous! cant wait to get my cot!!! xxx

 

[bsd]

I thought of that but tbh I want to be the one doing the manual part! I don't know I'm just one of those people who has to do everything their self. And I don't really like the FIL that much.. at all. I actually despise the man but ignore it and and move on for the sake of my OH.

As silly as it sounds it's just so sentimental to me! I've literally done absolutely everything this pregnancy I've picked out all the items, set it all up, organized and washed everything.. the crib to me is the icing on the cake! I'm not at all willing to give it up.. but I do feel bad for the FIL. I don't know why I do he's such a piece of crap! I just know he's going to be all upset about it and I don't want to be mean.

I just really really really want to be selfish about this because it's my first baby.. EVERYTHING is sentimental to me. Maybe it's my crazy pregnancy nesting feelings..

 

[MummyMana]

How about compromise - let him put it up, then dismantle it again and do it yourself once he's gone everyones a winner that way

 

[missmiylove]

I'd be happy he was putting it up. then again I dont like assembling things, ill leave that up to my husband. I guarantee i will not touch a screw or piece of my crib lol.

I think you should just do it with them... you are almost about to pop at 36 weeks..will you really want to be on the floor putting together a big heavy crib.. let the men do the hard stuff & u put together the easy parts? tht way you all win.

 

[bsd]

I cant I just have to do everything! haha
And tbh I really didn't want him involved at all.. I see it as a sentimental thing and I wanted it to just be me and my OH trying to figure it out for hours! That's how I pictured it this whole pregnancy and it would honestly make me cry to sit there and watch someone else do it..

My OH called him and told him about how badly I wanted to do it and how it meant a lot to me, AND (to my surprise) the FIL didn't even care! He just assumed my OH was going to end up doing it himself and wanted to help if he needed it. So the FIL wasn't trying to be all sentimental/nor did he really care if he did it or not. THANK GOSH, because I felt really bad taking away time with his son if he had been looking forward to it. Glad thats over with, I cried and stressed out for 12 hours for nothing!! Oh pregnancy hormones..


Thanks ladies for the advice!

 

[Emma11511]

My SIL brought Julian's crib over the morning after I had him while I was in hospital I came back and it was all ready to go. It was nice not having to worry about doing anything!

 

[bsd]

Awe that was nice of her!

If I do go into labor early then they can definitely go set it up, I rather have it be ready for me by the time I got home and I'm pretty sure if he was already in my arms I really wouldn't care about anything else!!

 

[JessicaM123]

Glad its all sorted