Crying it out?

[Sweetie]

By OH's direction I am now doing this a little bit (sometimes). I feel horrible when I do do it though like I want to Even when I know that she is fed, changed and everything should be good I get really upset that I might have missed something. That maybe I"m not meeting her needs and she is gong to hate me because she is hurt or something and I"m not there to make it better. I know the difference between her cries when she is hungry and tired but I can't get over maybe I'm missing something.

What do you all do? I can't keep going on like this it is starting to become an issues. Thanks for reading

 

[dizzy65]

awe that must be hard

 

[Alexas Mommy]

Apparently you are supposed to check up on them every five minutes to make sure they are okay. I don't let Alexa cry it out, as I personally do not believe in this method, but I have heard that as long as your checking on them every five minutes it is fine and eventually it will get better. how long have you been doing this for?

 

[Sweetie]

not long just a couple of days. Problem ins 99% of the time I can put her down and there are no issues just every now and then there is nothing I can do to make her happy. I go back every few min to make sure she has her soother but that's all he wants me to do otherwise let her go to sleep and again mostly she will go down really quickly but when she won't...

 

[KarenLV]

You feel bad because it goes against your natural instinct as a mother.Follow your gut and it will lead you onto the right path for you.Elizabeth Pantley has an excellent sleeping book (no cry solution).Have a look at it and give it a go if you want to.

 

[Sweetie]

Will check that out. OH is usually pretty good as long as I can back what I have to say. His son according to him was a far easier baby that DD so I think that is why he seems to be a bit biased on what he expects.

 

[isil]

trust your insticts, you know her best! If you know that sometimes she just cries i think you'll know that it's alright to leave her. Personally, I know that Alasdair doesn't really cry unless he needs something so I don't think I could leave him to it.

 

[Whisper]

Amelia tends to winge and cry just before she falls asleep even if she is being held. She fights sleep with every ounce!
I have just started putting her down at around 8/9pm and then coming downstairs, so the only time she is left to 'cry it out' is the time it takes me to walk back upstairs to pop the dummy back in.

 

[tinytoes]

i'm thinking of doing this a bit soon too. tried it before but i was too soft and couldnt manage it. i really want to give it a go.


doc recomended i get baby settled sleeping on his own first (we'd been in his room) so i'll do that this week then maybe try and get to grips with showing him he can get to sleep on his own next week.
it is hard. but so many people clam baby grizzles for a while before dozing off, it sounds simple...

 

[fairywings]

I agree somewhat with what has been said, but I also think that if you go back to them each time they cry they wont learn to settle themselves back off which is ultimately what you want. Don't get me wrong, the first time I tried the "let them cry" method I felt really bad and would go in after a couple of minutes, but eventually it got to the stage where she would fall back off on her own. (took about 2 weeks, I am lucky!)

I know if there is something wrong now when she wakes crying and can't settle herself back off because she is good at doing that now. But I guess everyone has different opinions on this issue and at the end of the day it is down to the mother how she wants to deal with it, but you have to differenciate between them needing something and doing it because they know you are going to come running. x

 

[tinytoes]

I agree somewhat with what has been said, but I also think that if you go back to them each time they cry they wont learn to settle themselves back off which is ultimately what you want. Don't get me wrong, the first time I tried the "let them cry" method I felt really bad and would go in after a couple of minutes, but eventually it got to the stage where she would fall back off on her own. (took about 2 weeks, I am lucky!)

I know if there is something wrong now when she wakes crying and can't settle herself back off because she is good at doing that now. But I guess everyone has different opinions on this issue and at the end of the day it is down to the mother how she wants to deal with it, but you have to differenciate between them needing something and doing it because they know you are going to come running. x

i agree. this is why i really want to get tough enough to do it.

 

[fairywings]

It will get easier, I know the guilt is hard at first but it gets easier and they will be fine, all about finding a routine! Good luck!

 

[Sweetie]

Amelia tends to winge and cry just before she falls asleep even if she is being held. She fights sleep with every ounce!
I have just started putting her down at around 8/9pm and then coming downstairs, so the only time she is left to 'cry it out' is the time it takes me to walk back upstairs to pop the dummy back in.

Right now that sounds like exactly what I am going through/doing. 'cept she has learned to cry around the soother so she fakes me out! And it's all the same whining.

I wanted to add that when I go back to give the soother back I make a point of getting in the room not saying a word giving her the soother and then leaving, so there is no extra attention/ cuddle time... bedtime is bedtime. This is all after of course she has been cuddled before

 

[babe2ooo]

i did it last night, jack had been changed, feed and burped and i knew he was ready for sleep but he just wouldnt go, he kept crying and crying, so i put him in his cot and let him cry i stayed in the room with him, i just lied on the bed and let him get on with it, it was really hard but 5mins later he was asleep so all was good in the end, but i did try it b4 and he cry for like 15min and i couldnt let him carry on, i would only let him cry for 5-10mins after that i would pick him up.

 

[1st_baby]

I cant let max cry it out , if i do ill cry too lol

 

[marley2580]

I have only recently started letting Kaya cry, before now (she's almost 1) I think she was too young. I started with lying on the bed with her then moved to just being in the room and now I go in our bedroom until she's asleep. I stay away unless her crying changes from a whinge to a cry, or she sits up, then I go in, lie her down kiss her goodnight and walk out again. I really don't think you should do it if you find it tough as it can mean that neither you or your baby are ready for it.

 

[mommy2]

i agree with you marley, you both need to be ready -

 

[Carolyn]

i did it last night, jack had been changed, feed and burped and i knew he was ready for sleep but he just wouldnt go, he kept crying and crying, so i put him in his cot and let him cry i stayed in the room with him, i just lied on the bed and let him get on with it, it was really hard but 5mins later he was asleep so all was good in the end, but i did try it b4 and he cry for like 15min and i couldnt let him carry on, i would only let him cry for 5-10mins after that i would pick him up.

that was us last night...she's still asleep now. although she only went to sleep properly at 8.45AM........ten hours to get to sleep. she wasn;t crying, just awake. sometimes talking, sometimes niggling. we took it in turns to sit and pat her. am knackered.