csa? help would be much appreciated

[angels330]

hi there, bit confused about what i should do about whether i should involve the csa or not. basically my ex refuses to see my lo and has nothing to do with her (his choice) and refused to sign the birth certificate. now up until now i have been scared of his reaction about asking for money off him, but now i realise he should be paying for his daughter. but i just wanted to know if i did involve the csa would he have any rights at all? i dont want him in her life he is a bad man, and i have a wonderful partner and were very happy as a family, so if my ex did start paying child maintenance could he use this against me if he changed his mind about being involved? any help would be appreciated! x

 

[xarlenex]

I guess it would work in his favour if he's paying, however if you can prove he is the bad man your claiming him to be then you shouldnt have anything to worry about x

 

[ChloesMummy]

My daughters biological father has never been involved, never seen her and doesnt have his name on the birth certificate through his own choice. I went to the CSA and after months of them chasing him and his denying she was his to aviod paying a DNA test was done and i eventually started receiving 25% of his pay. He still has had no contact or put his name on the birth certificate (no loss to Chloe!). The CSA being involved does not automatically give him any more rights than if he was not paying. Either way he could change his mind and ask to be involved.

I suppose its a question of Do you think him paying maintenance will make him want to ask for contact? x

 

[asacia]

Maintainance and access/rights are seperate issues.

As the ex is the father, he has the right to request access and rights regarding schooling and healthcare. These rights are usually granted, except in extreme circumstances. As far as I'm aware, not paying maintainance is not a reason for contact to be denied.

He already has rights, he doesn't gain any more rights if you decide to pursue him for maintainance.

 

[angels330]

thankyou girls that does clear a few things up. i am not worried he would gain any rights because he is bad , and has no intentions of being a father. i suppose a worry in my mind is that as he was controlling he might change his mind and id give in. thanks again xx

 

[sallie]

hi there,
i understand the situation your in, iv had the same dilema in the past, all i can tell u really is what i chose to do and hope it helps. My son is now 10 he hasnt seen his real dad for 7 years. I chose not to go to the csa, i didnt want anything from him apart from him out of mine and my sons life, i also thought that going to the csa would go against me in that he might just turn round and demand contact which i didnt want. Although i agree that absent dads should pay maintainance i thought in my instance i would be better off managing by myself. I was right, im glad i didnt ask him for anything iv bought my son up quite well without his help, i v been married for 4 years now to a brilliant man who took my son on as his own, so he doesnt need his real dad for anything. Im sure your daughter will will look to your new partner as her father figure and she wont want for anything, u might be better off like me leaving your ex well out of it. Hope what iv said is a help to you.