csa

[precious-gift]

well thats jake 2 weeks old now and my ex wants nothing to do with him. He sent a letter through the solicitor about maintenence, he is willing to give me £25 a week!!! wft! anyway got meeting with my solicitor on monday and she is saying to just go through the csa. Are they as rubbish as everyone says at getting maintenence and how long does it take? x

 

[edinsam]

aw hun cant believe it about him not wanting anything to do with Jake - ******* - sorry for bad language!

You take him to CSA and you do not think back about it. He initially spoke to you about paying more so make sure he does.

Well lily was 2 weeks when I filed with CSA. You can do it online. I did that on her 2 weeks date. I called them the other day to see and update and apparently stage one is 4 weeks assessment so I wont hear anything back for another couple of weeks. It does get back dated though so the quicker you get it orgnised the better.

Good luck, go for it girl, do not feel bad about it. I did but then figured hey my ex earns 90K a year - he so should bloody pay for his daughter!

Keep strong, think of your lovely lovely Jake - he's adoreable! Hate that you are so far away as I would give you a big hug.

 

[Perdita]

Be aware that any money you get you only really get the first £20 of as it's counted as income if you apply for any other income based benefits. The CSA doesn't have a great reputation but if you know FOB income you can work out how much you would get through the csa - 15% of his NET (not gross) average weekly income. But unless they take it direct from his wages you are still at the mercy of his whims when it comes to paying and from some basic research the CSA is really reluctant to use their teeth and take men to court for non-payment and seem to cut them way too much slack! Do the sums and see what will work out best for you.
Good luck and put the money stuff aside everytime you look at your little one - he's the one that matters not the selfish sperm donor!
xx

 

[precious-gift]

hey thanks sam, hope lily and you are well.

i noticed that you can do it online, so will probably do that, easier than phoning them, so i will leave it 4 weeks before i phone them, do you have to keep phoning them constantly i think i have all the info that i need.

His mum and sister are coming up to visit next week, to have words with him, will make little difference, maybe mention to her how little he is willing to contribiute towards his son, might be rocking the boat doing that though, but then again im past caring. My son and your daughter deserve better. Saw your other post about him agreeing to have nothing to do will lily, must be a weight off your mind, but at the same time it must hurt that he doesn't want her, i know im struggling with that at the moment, im hoping that it passes, had a few teary moments.

Thanks for your help

 

[precious-gift]

hey perdita how you doing?
i don't claim any benefits, so should get the get full amount of any maintenence i get from him, although i know he can stop payments at any time. I know where he works, lives and know his national insurance number and what he earns. He tried to justilfy his £25 a week as he pays our joint mortgage, but what he forgot to mention was that he lives in the house, his son and myself are classed as homeless!! just got a feeling this is going to be a long and drawn out process, which im not looking forward to x

 

[Perdita]

If he's living in the house then it makes no difference - he has to pay for wherever he lives!!
I'm doing okay - 25 weeks now and really starting to feel it!! Got signed off for a week with a UTI and barely moving out my bed - heaven!
£25 is pants and he knows it, men are such chancers!
xx

 

[precious-gift]

not good having a UTI, but id easily go for the staying in bed, miss that! definately make the most of it, you'll never sleep the same again once LO is here, im turning into a zombie

Yep they are chancers, but im not letting him off with this, he has made a big enough fool of me, he's not going to do it again x

 

[edinsam]

precious yes apply online just now and then wait 4 weeks to chase

THis is what they told me when I called them the other day:

4 weeks to assess the case and write to the FOB
(next part relates to me) - 4 weeks for him to deny parentage which is he is going to
4 weeks for him to get dna sorted
further 4 weeks for case and payment assigned

So for me roughly 4 months.... which is long but it gets back dated. I know that the DNA thing is not his doing but hers but I have nothing to hide - I have never been unfaithful in my entire life

Re my other post well yes it was hard and hun you will be tearful. On Tuesday when I had to hand my house keys over to the estate agents for the new people moving in I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed for almost 5 hours. I was sobbing for Lily and the loss of a father. Since then its gone - I dont feel teary anymore. I saw him that day for 2 hours and he was the lovely chatty man that I knew all those years and it was so lovely, Lily was at my parents that day but he came into my new house and saw all her stuff and pictures and toys etc and he was just staring around. He left and asked if he could hold me - I said no. Its too much. He did say when he left though that he does accept that she is his and that he has a daughter - that was it. Not heard from him since.

Be strong hun, you are, you have done soooo bloody well this year I tell ya. Just do the final bit and submit the forms. I am like you I wont be claiming benefits so his CSA payment will be the whole amount

 

[precious-gift]

why oh why do they act like this, he asked if he could hold you? after everything he has done, i really do not understand these men really, they can go from being caring to being pure evil, it makes me so mad. my ex has seen photos of jake, and still doesn't want him!

definately submitting the forms, he will take responsibilty for his actions, even if it is just financially.

hey we have both come a long way, should be proud of ourselves, might be hard at times, but we will get there x

 

[babybaillie]

my ex was paying £80 a month (hes a director of his own company) then when i was told i had to go through the csa he was told to pay £25 a month WTF!?!?!

 

[MissE007]

That is like millions to me, my ex only pays 5 pounds a week!
I have to say the CSA were and are absolutley useless in my case, I have all but given up on the situation.

 

[edinsam]

my ex was paying £80 a month (hes a director of his own company) then when i was told i had to go through the csa he was told to pay £25 a month WTF!?!?!

Babybaillie thats not right. That sounds like he has lied about his income and as a director of his own company he could do that and claim he only had a small salary. Mines is exactly the same - director of his own project management company. As he only pays himself £400 in expenses each month (which CSA class as his salary) it will be judged on that - sounds like your ex has maybe done that too. However if your ex is like mine and pays himself a dividend each quarter then that counts. You need to find a way of letting csa know that. For me (Im an accountant so aware of all the ins and outs) I used to prepare my ex's accounts so I know them inside out and I already on the case and the csa now have his dividend details which equate to almost a 90k a year salary! There are ways and means but you need to be prepared to be in it for the long haul! And thats one thing I am in it for!

 

[xxannxx]

Hiya, i've went through CSA recently, applied online in May, it took about 6 weeks for them to calculate amount, and give me idea of when i would be getting payment. My ex decided to pay by deduction from earnings, which is good as he can't then cancel it when it suits, however that delayed things by about 4 weeks as they have to notify employer, etc. If you seen my previous post you will have seen that ex cut his hours so i didn't get full amount, though wasn't getting anything before, so at least is better than that. I would say definately apply through CSA sooner rather than later, in my opinion its always better to have things done officially, i wish i had done so earlier.