Cuddling my baby

[KarenLV]

I know one of the most important rules about babies and sleeping is to lie them down when they are drowsy but still awake,so that they can learn to fall asleep themselves....however sometimes I really like to just hold him in my arms and let him sleep on my chest.Am I going to regret this later on? Will this mess up him learning to fall asleep by himself?

 

[Wobbles]

I think we've always held/cuddled Moo until shes asleep even though she has routine now ... I think newborn she would be put down drowsy but they sleep/rest a lot then. Still do cuddle her and take her to bed lately I have been putting her down if shes not dropping off fully or if she wakes when I take her up and shes been fine.

 

[marley2580]

Kaya still gets fed/held until she falls asleep. Nothing wrong with it imo

 

[Rayven]

Am I going to regret this later on? Will this mess up him learning to fall asleep by himself?

All i can do is tell you about my own experience as i guess every baby is different. With my first i used to love cuddling her to sleep & i used to let her fall asleep while feeding. To be honest i thought it was the easier option and i just loved giving her a cuddle while she slept. The problem being that she then would then NOT go to sleep by herself. She got used to being held when she was falling asleep and wouldn't go to sleep any other way. That went on until she was 18 months!!! I was absolutely shattered and to get her to go to sleep to her own i had to do sleep training, which is leaving the babycrying in the cot and going to lay them back down every two minutes, the first night we were doing this for an hour and a half before she went off, but one night it was four hours!!! This went on for two weeks solid and was emotionally draining.
With my second i was determined not t fall into the same trap and so from the first night whenever she looked sleepy i would put her down and let her fall asleep by herself and never had any problems getting her off to sleep that way.
I intend on doing the same with the one i'm expecting. Although i LOVE cuddling my babies to sleep, i found i made a rod for my own back!

 

[Carolyn]

karen - this is a question i was just going to post about. our baby is coming up to 3 weeks old. she sleeps no problem at night in her moses basket...however she is asleep when i put her in it!! during the day, she seems to be asleep and i put her down and she won't settle. just screams!!! she'll fall asleep in anyone's arms...people keep saying i'm 'making a rod for my own back'. am i? i thought she was still too young to be left to cry herself to sleep???

 

[AppleBlossom]

Grace tends to fall asleep on my chest and then I put her to sleep. I've tried putting her down drowsy but as soon as I put her down she wakes up. I've attempted to leave her to see if she'll get herself to sleep but she won't, I think she's already gotten too dependent on me getting her to sleep. To be honest though, I just want the sleep and it's much easier to get her to sleep on me than leave her to wriggle and cry. I know I'll regret it later though

 

[Samantha675]

One of my baby books says that babies are unable to self sooth till they are about 4 months old, mentally they just don't have it together enough. I know with Bren, he is starting to show signs of being able to sooth himself when he gets tired, but still has a way to go. So for the next few weeks, I will still be getting him to sleep then laying him down, then we will start working on him learning to get himself to sleep.

 

[Carolyn]

is there a good book to read about this 'self soothing'. i really thought with me feeding on demand it would be a bit impossible to let her cry herself to sleep...i don't actually know yet if she's hungry...?

 

[vicky]

Kira, goes to sleep by her self at night time, but during the day if we are out and about some times i have to rock her to sleep, but if we are at home she will go in her cot and will go to sleep no problems, but some times during the DAY and DAY only i will rock her to sleep and cuddle her. I have had no problems with her falling asleep on her own since she has been in a routine, and she has been sleeping through since just under 2 months old.

 

[Helen]

Ours have always self-settled. Didn't have much choice really and besides which I'd never heard of rocking a baby to sleep until about 3 months in a friend said to me "it must be hard rocking 2 to sleep". Ummm...no....

I've got to admit to being a bit jealous of those people with one baby that can do that. It's pretty rare that either of mine have fallen asleep in my arms.

I'd say a bit of both would probably be good. I'd be encouraging your LO to self settle at night time and probably have a bit more of a cuddle during the day time naps.

 

[Rayven]

To be honest, if you get them to sleep on their own from day one then you shouldn't have any problems with getting your little ones to sleep. If you've already started letting them fall asleep on you or someone else then they've probably already gotten used to falling asleep with the comfort of someone holding them.
The problem being that if when you put them down they're already too drowsy or half sleeping then the change in temperture (from being held to being put down) will be enough to wake them up properly and start them screaming.
For any expectant mums, the best thing you can do from day 1 is to put them down 'before' they fall asleep. As tempting as it is to cuddle them to sleep they will get used to it and you will then have problems getting them to sleep by themselves. Although thats just my opinion and something i've learnt the hard way!

 

[Amanda]

DON'T DO IT!!!!!

Yep, I am shouting to get my point across!!!!!

It's DH's responsibility to get Charlie bed while I cook the dinner in the evening, and I can remember saying to him when Charlie was about 4 months old "You've got to stop rocking him to sleep now, do you want to still be doing this when he's 2?"

And guess what? Yep, he's still doing it at 2. Not the rocking, but he lays back in the recliner with Charlie on his chest until he falls sleep. It drives me nuts! He can sleep on his own as he does it in the day with me, and at nursery when I'm at work, but night-times are totally different. He just won't go bed on his own.

I've given DH an ultimatum today. I've told him he's got to stop it as we've got another coming soon and just couldn't cope.

 

[Baby-Love]

They say to raise the level of the crib or to get as close to the mattress as possible, when laying your child down. As their body senses you lowering them, this at times wakes them up. This should be attempted when fully asleep though. I've tried this, however my little one seems to fake her sleep. lol I can't say you're spoiling them with the sleeping clenches at the moment. Babies don't have the ability to fall asleep themselves. Also, you need to remember your baby has been used to being warm, secure and tightly held inside of you. It's still early, also a learning process.
Some babies are fine with going to sleep in their crib...most aren't.
I find it's my time to wined down when I know she's fully asleep. Even if I am holding her during the whole time. I also sit on my bed and gently place her on a pillow..Only as I observe, as babies shouldn't be sleeping on soft/cushioned surfaces. The whole time I sit by her and when she stirs I pat her to let her know Mummy is there. She usually drops back off to sleep.

 

[Holldoll]

I do the exact same as Sam. Now that she is 3 months I'm starting to read about ways to get them to fall asleep on their own. I'm in the middle of trying the No-Cry Sleep Solution. You should read. I don't believe in letting babies cry it out.

 

[x-amy-x]

Caitlyn gets cuddled to sleep in the day time and when its bedtime she has a bath, a feed a story and gets put down to fall asleep on her own. I think little ones thrive on routine.

xxx

 

[ColtonsMom]

I have been regretting it.. I love cuddling but Colton wont go to sleep on his own AT ALL! Even when he wakes just slightly in the middle of the night I have to go cuddle him to get him back to sleep or he starts screaming.. and he has some LUNGS!
We have just recently started a routine.. Bath, Bottle, Book, Bed. But I am still cuddling him until he gets used to the routine and knows when bed time will be.
My SIL has a two year old and she's never coslept or cuddled him to sleep, and he will happily tell you that he is tired.. walk up to bed and go to sleep in his little toddler bed!
I want Colton to be the same, but I'm afraid he wont be with the way he goes to sleep now..

 

[KarenLV]

Skyler have started showing signs of selfsoothing that I am encouraging. As mentioned in an earlier post they can only properly selfsoothe at 4+ months of age. I have noticed that when Skyler sucks on his closed fist,it is to soothe himself. If his fist is open and he sucks on it,he is hungry.I have started to place him down to sleep drowsy but awake. It has worked a few times and few times not. Will continue to do so until I get it right because I dont want to be rocking a 2 year old in the future. Especially as we are planning baby nr:2 for 2010.

 

[Rayven]

I have been regretting it.. I love cuddling but Colton wont go to sleep on his own AT ALL! Even when he wakes just slightly in the middle of the night I have to go cuddle him to get him back to sleep or he starts screaming..

He sounds like my eldest when she was little! I used to have to lay with her until she went to sleep up until the age of 18 months and then if she woke during the night i'd have to lay with her again!!
PLEASE! PLEASE! All you new Mums, if you eventually want your little ones to fall asleep by themselves then start from day one. If you do it from the day they get home they won't have to cry themselves to sleep because they'll be used to being put down when they're tired & falling asleep naturally. By all means give as many cuddles as you like during the day when they're awake, but as they start getting sleepy put them down for a nap.

 

[cherylanne]

Am I going to regret this later on? Will this mess up him learning to fall asleep by himself?

All i can do is tell you about my own experience as i guess every baby is different. With my first i used to love cuddling her to sleep & i used to let her fall asleep while feeding. To be honest i thought it was the easier option and i just loved giving her a cuddle while she slept. The problem being that she then would then NOT go to sleep by herself. She got used to being held when she was falling asleep and wouldn't go to sleep any other way. That went on until she was 18 months!!! I was absolutely shattered and to get her to go to sleep to her own i had to do sleep training, which is leaving the babycrying in the cot and going to lay them back down every two minutes, the first night we were doing this for an hour and a half before she went off, but one night it was four hours!!! This went on for two weeks solid and was emotionally draining.

Exactly the same for us, i used to hold Grace untill she was asleep or let her sleep on me. She was 11 months before she went to sleep on her own. If she woke in the night she couldn't get herself back to sleep so one of us had to go and hold her until she went to sleep again, we were exhausted!

 

[Newt]

Oscar has always been good at settling himself and he still does. I do sometimes cuddle him to sleep, we both love it. Sometimes though, he let's me know he doesnt want to cwtch and he just wants to sleep alone, he is funny like that. So I guess every bubbs is different.