Custody with the dad UK England only please

[Chezzer]

Uk England only please

So I posted earlier about how i don't want the dad on the Labour room, someone said if I continue and after birth things got nasty and he took me to court it could be classed as alienation, and the dad win custody is this true.
Uk England answers only please.

 

[Babybump87]

I’m pretty sure that he wouldn’t get full custody of the child based purely on the fact that he wasn’t in the delivery room at the time of birth .

That just sounds crazy to me ?!

 

[love.peace]

In the UK you cannot just go to court love. You need to go through mediation to come up with a plan.
It would be throw out of court until that point.
And no not letting them in the room is not classes as alienation because until the baby is born who is with you and what happens to your body is your choice.
X

 

[DobbyForever]

First I did not say he has to be there for labor and delivery, but if he asks to bond with the baby when the baby is born then that’s an issue. Hospital security and nurses can help her feel as safe as possible. It could look bad if she excludes him from pregnancy related appointments, and if she claims she feels unsafe then why not have gone for a restraining order?

We go to mediation here first as well but typically if he is abysive and fighting her legally then I doubt he will compromise

Additionally note the following UK measure put into place last year
“The new approach will initially give parents the chance to change their behaviour with the help of intense therapy. Alienating parents who do not respond will not be allowed to have their children live with them.

In addition, contact between the parent and child could be restricted or refused for a number of months. In the most extreme cases, the alienating parent will be permanently banned from any contact with their child.


Parental alienation occurs on a spectrum from mild to extreme, all of which can be extremely damaging to the children involved. Experts admit they are only now beginning to understand the range of ways it manifests itself.“

So to tell her that alienating the dad cannot put her in a position to lose custody is irresponsible. I don’t want to see her get hit with that type of lawsuit so if he has talked about getting custody then she needs to be tactful to protect herself and her baby

BUT just saw her other post (congrats on your girl!) and sounds like she is including dad so this is a non issue

 

[DobbyForever]

New plans to crack down on parental alienation | The Family Law Co

Parental Alienation Issues | Family Law Decisions

Divorcing parents could lose children if they try to turn them against partner

 

[Chezzer]

Thank you for the replies I miss understood what u have said in the previous post. I'm not alienating him he knows I have midwife apps and has been to scans. I just don't want him in the labour room while I give birth, if I handed u my phone and let u read my whatsapp u would under Stand how much of a idiot he's being .

 

[Chezzer]

And I've already said to him he can come round to see the baby when she is born and so can his parents once I have met them out side. We wernt in a relationship it was a short lived fling.
He also never contacts me about how midwife apps go or when they next are or what happens at them from 12-20 wks he didn't contact me once asking how things were going.

 

[DobbyForever]

When you say he’s a jerk, I take your word for it. Hugs hugs.

I probably didn’t word myself well the first go round because I am really tired. But yes based on what you are saying you are totally being inclusive so it is sooooo nothing to worry about. You are doing a great job. Sorry if I worried you! My legal battle with my poop head ex is so exhausting so I just want to spare people my headache by sharing my courtroom saga drama and learned lessons. Which sometimes helps and sometimes just stresses people out.

 

[Shezza84uk]

You don’t have to have him in the labour and delivery at all, he can bond with the baby when you get home it’s that simple. Until he signs the birth certificate his parental rights are not established and at the time of birth its your call. I wouldn’t have him anywhere near the hospital if he would stress me out at such a crucial time. It’s also not parent allianation if he doesn't see the baby until you are in a comfortable place at home and settled.

 

[DobbyForever]

I would be cautious there. I’m just saying the UK is changing its views on dad’s rights. So she needs to be careful so as not to present herself negatively, which I don’t think she is. I think she is coparenting and compromising as best she can.

But if you take away anything, let it be this: if you think this could end up in court find an experienced lawyer to do a free consultation to answer your questions. I find lawyers who are referred by friends have the cheapest most sound advice. A practicing lawyer will not only know the ins and outs of the laws, they know the local judges and how they react and view things. They will know how the courts are currently ruling/viewing things.

But long midnight post summary:
-if you are concerned have a quick chat with a local family law attorney
-you are totally not alienating him so please don’t stress. He does not need to be in the room and i’m Sure you can talk to the hospital about a safety plan and visiting plan where he can see her with as little stress to you as possible

 

[Babybump87]

I think him being in the delivery room is not an issue you can pick whoever you want. I agree with Dobby. If he wants access to the child when she’s born you must be seen to be allowing this. He may use this against you should it come to mediation / court . As always Dobby has given you some very good information and advice.

For your own piece of mind would go not seek out a solicitors advice now and maybe you and the baby’s father put in place some access time for him, maybe at a local children’s centre / contact centre if you don’t feel safe him being in your house or with the baby on his own? Again you may need to speak to a solicitor about this .

 

[Babybump87]

Sorry just seen your previous post about allowing him and his parents to visit your home once she’s born! For some reason I can’t edit my previous post

 

[DobbyForever]

This new layout is so annoying lol. I have so many duplicate posts when attaching pictures then you can’t delete them... bah

Sorry I know off topic

 

[Chezzer]

Yeah I don't like the new layout either.
I would never stop him seeing his daughter, but if he turns up drunk etc or dirty from work and won't put on clean clothes I have at mine then il do something I don't want him holding our daughter in dirty building site clothes or sitting over my sofa getting muck every where building site dust won't be good for her to breath in.