Cycle after loss

[Vonne15]

I lost my baby girl a month ago and I'm still bleeding (sorry if TMI). I was wondering if that is normal?

 

[Uni tsi]

Vonne,

I'm sorry for your loss. I empathize with your pain - a month and a half ago, we lost our daughter at 35 weeks. I don't know what is considered normal, but I bled for two weeks after. My doctor said I would bleed lightly up until my next cycle started in probably about four weeks, and then I should expect to bleed heavier on that first cycle compared to before the pregnancy. However, for me there was four weeks in between where I didn't bleed at all, and then started my next cycle after six weeks (still on it, and I can honestly say that was the worst PMS ever. My poor DH!). I would say that if you are concerned you should ask your doctor, especially if the bleeding is still on the heavier side.

I read your story posted on another thread. I am in awe of your strength and resilience. It sounds like your situation as far as the cause of the loss of your sweet baby had a lot more complications then mine, so I don't really know if our situations are comparable. I would encourage you to ask your doctor if it seems different from what they led you to expect.

Hopefully, your doctors agree it is normal and can offer you some substantial reassurance Let me know how things turn out. I don't consider it TMI - having just started my first cycle since my loss, bleeding is very much on my mind. It's actually lighter then I am used to from before the pregnancy and not heavier like they said it would be, so of course, I'm wondering just what that means and freaking out about it a little, although I'm sure in a small but still rational part of my brain that it is probably alright and nothing to worry about. I just realized, I didn't really answer your question, but I think what is normal is to worry about every single thing after experiencing a loss.

 

[Vonne15]

Vonne,

I'm sorry for your loss. I empathize with your pain - a month and a half ago, we lost our daughter at 35 weeks. I don't know what is considered normal, but I bled for two weeks after. My doctor said I would bleed lightly up until my next cycle started in probably about four weeks, and then I should expect to bleed heavier on that first cycle compared to before the pregnancy. However, for me there was four weeks in between where I didn't bleed at all, and then started my next cycle after six weeks (still on it, and I can honestly say that was the worst PMS ever. My poor DH!). I would say that if you are concerned you should ask your doctor, especially if the bleeding is still on the heavier side.

I read your story posted on another thread. I am in awe of your strength and resilience. It sounds like your situation as far as the cause of the loss of your sweet baby had a lot more complications then mine, so I don't really know if our situations are comparable. I would encourage you to ask your doctor if it seems different from what they led you to expect.

Hopefully, your doctors agree it is normal and can offer you some substantial reassurance Let me know how things turn out. I don't consider it TMI - having just started my first cycle since my loss, bleeding is very much on my mind. It's actually lighter then I am used to from before the pregnancy and not heavier like they said it would be, so of course, I'm wondering just what that means and freaking out about it a little, although I'm sure in a small but still rational part of my brain that it is probably alright and nothing to worry about. I just realized, I didn't really answer your question, but I think what is normal is to worry about every single thing after experiencing a loss.

Thank you so much for your response. I'm also sorry to hear about your loss . The bleeding isn't super heavy it's a steady flow. My Doctor told me I could bleed for up to a month. But it was still a shock when it started.

 

[Uni tsi]

I'm glad to hear the docs aren't concerned. I bet it was a shock. Two weeks felt like forever to me, so four weeks? yikes! And then even after the initial bleeding stopped, the wait for a normal cycle to resume, felt like an extended version of forever. I even tried ovulation testing, not to ttc but just so I'd have some idea of when things would get back to normal. I missed the LH surge but at least it gave me something to do.

I hope it stops for you soon

 

[Vonne15]

I'm glad to hear the docs aren't concerned. I bet it was a shock. Two weeks felt like forever to me, so four weeks? yikes! And then even after the initial bleeding stopped, the wait for a normal cycle to resume, felt like an extended version of forever. I even tried ovulation testing, not to ttc but just so I'd have some idea of when things would get back to normal. I missed the LH surge but at least it gave me something to do.

I hope it stops for you soon

We won't officially be TTC until next month. So hopefully my cycle isn't too off. I feel like I have too much time on my hands. I also feel ashamed and angry at my body. I feel like it betrayed me. I see all these heavily pregnant women and new Mommy's and I'm like "my body had one job...why couldn't it do it?!". Thank you. I can't wait for us to get our rainbows.

 

[Uni tsi]

I know what you mean about feeling like your body let you down. Having this happen has really hurt my self esteem. My confidence in everything is really shaken.

I am also suffering from too much free time I had everything set up at work for a dream schedule. I was one of the lucky ones who would have had nearly two months of maternity leave and when I went back after that had it all set up to only need to be there in person two days a week in the spring. It's too late to change the schedule now, so I'm stuck with all the time off. I'm trying to make positive use of all my unwanted free time. Yesterday, I joined a gym. I'm going to go five days a week. I'm going to try to get in as good as shape as I can so that everything has a better chance of a happy outcome next time. Also, I really dislike having a "mom" body and not having the baby to show for it. I've never been the sort of person who joins a gym but it was the only thing I could think of to keep myself sane. I think it might be working so far, I am actually excited to go tomorrow for spin class.

I try to be hopeful that we WILL have our rainbows soon. I really admire how much positivity you manage to insert into your posts. Chatting with you gives me a sense of confidence that we both will get what we want

 

[Vonne15]

I know what you mean about feeling like your body let you down. Having this happen has really hurt my self esteem. My confidence in everything is really shaken.

I am also suffering from too much free time I had everything set up at work for a dream schedule. I was one of the lucky ones who would have had nearly two months of maternity leave and when I went back after that had it all set up to only need to be there in person two days a week in the spring. It's too late to change the schedule now, so I'm stuck with all the time off. I'm trying to make positive use of all my unwanted free time. Yesterday, I joined a gym. I'm going to go five days a week. I'm going to try to get in as good as shape as I can so that everything has a better chance of a happy outcome next time. Also, I really dislike having a "mom" body and not having the baby to show for it. I've never been the sort of person who joins a gym but it was the only thing I could think of to keep myself sane. I think it might be working so far, I am actually excited to go tomorrow for spin class.

I try to be hopeful that we WILL have our rainbows soon. I really admire how much positivity you manage to insert into your posts. Chatting with you gives me a sense of confidence that we both will get what we want

Joining a gym sounds like a good idea! Something to do to occupy and get your body back into shape. I also hate having the "mom" body and no baby I'm wearing one of those waist trainers and counting calories. The weight is slowly melting off. I want to lose at lease 20 pounds before getting pregnant again. I have to be positive because if I give in to the dark thoughts then I'll be completely consumed. friend.

 

[Uni tsi]

Congrats getting the number on the scale moving in the right direction!

I have about 20 pounds to lose too, to be back to my original weight, which wasn't skinny to begin with. Unfortunately, I suck at calorie counting. I have an app on my phone and I start every day with good intentions, but I always seem to go over if I don't do at least 30 min of cardio every day. I've really been enjoying lifting weights these past few weeks, especially since I joined the gym Before I joined, I was already just using some 10lb weights at home and feel like I can already see a difference in my arms, even though my waist is still flabby. So, I try to remind myself that muscle weighs more than fat and I should pay more attention to how my pants fit than the number on the scale, but I still weight myself everyday hoping I've shed a bit lol. I think the exercise triggered endorphin release is at least helping me keep a more positive outlook about things than I had been before.

I think part of the reason I'm not losing any weight is that I've been drinking my calories lately but eggnog is soooo good

 

[Vonne15]

I've been drinking more too...I feel like such a mess. Christmas was bittersweet. I ate and drank and was Merry but in the back of my mind I was missing my belly.

 

[Uni tsi]

Bittersweet is a good word for it. I felt like I was putting on a bit of an act for everyone. I was smiling and pleasant, but I kept wondering what it would be like to have her here. I think New Years eve will be easier in a way, because it's less family oriented and I don't plan on going out in the interest of not drinking

I think I O'd on the 26th, and I didn't think it would make that much difference in my mood, but knowing I get to look forward to testing has really made it easier to keep a positive outlook these last couple days. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up too much, but it's just nice to have something to look forward to. Only problem is, I don't really know my cycle length yet so I'm not exactly sure what day to expect af. So, I'm just going to assume for now that it's the same cycle length as before. I bought a test that claims it can detect a positive 6 days earlier and I'm going to test on New Years Day. I don't really have any expectations but it seems like a good day to check just because how wonderful it would be to start the new year pregnant again.

How is your cycle doing? I know when we started chatting about two weeks ago you were feeling frustrated things weren't back to normal yet. Any progress?