Daddies on delivery day

[cinnamum]

I disagree. My best labour was when I went in ALONE! I specifically stated in my birth notes: no student midwives! my husband stayed at home with the kids. It was great, my birthing partner stayed with me until I was 7cm and then I sent her home, to bed. She was knackered after a 12hr shift at work. 20minutes later, 4 pushes.... My daughter was born. I was left alone with her, it was bliss! I'm very old fashioned and I believe that I am a strong enough woman to accept the fact that nobody else could care for our children as well as me and my husband could. I was so relaxed knowing the children were with someone they trusted 100% my husband could enjoy our newest family member when I got home. The children were made to feel like they hadn't been treated differently to their father. He was under no pressure or extra stress that time either. Not all men can handle labour. What's good for one isn't always good for another, every relationship works differently and each family functions to the best of their abilities. I'm hoping to avoid any 'other' men whilst in hospital too, I think the maternity ward should be for women. Or we should be given a choice to go into a ward where only women are allowed. I'm contemplating paying out for a private room when I go in. Never had that privilege before, might treat myself

 

[winterbabies3]

With ds1 my bf at the time was awful and didn't want to stay after ds was born and didn't come back the next day til 12. If you have had a baby before, staying in a cold room by yourself and baby is pretty lonely, specially when it should be a happy time. I don't like this at all and I am surprised it's still like this. Sometimes it happens here and the dad has to go home cause there are no rooms but it doesn't happen offten.

 

[bitethebullet]

This was the case in the hospital where I had my daughter (UK)- I can see why, the room was overcrowded as it was with just babies and mothers however I had terrible first night. Having had a c section I really struggled to sit up to pick up my baby when she needed me and I dropped my buzzer on the floor early in the night so could not ring for help. It's no wonder that some fathers feel left out of the whole process when they are treated merely as a visitor to their own child.
I have purposely booked myself into a different hospital this time (though it is slightly further away) which has single rooms and reclining chairs for the father to sleep in. My husband said he felt absolutely awful having to leave us and had a sleepless night worrying only to find that when he came back to see us that he had to wait outside as he was 10 mins early for visiting!

 

[geordiemoo]

I think I'm a bit torn on this. With my DD I gave birth at 8.30 in the morning. DH got the whole day with us so when he had to leave at 20.30 it wasn't so bad, he was knackered so it was good for him to get some proper rest and I was on a 4 bed ward and if I'm honest I wouldn't have minded other peoples partners staying but would have felt weird if my DH had gone home and someone elses had stayed. However I remember a new lady being brought onto the ward about 2am in the morning, just given birth, couldn't get baby to feed and they made her partner leave because it was in the night and I felt sorry for them as they'd had no time together. So I can definitely see both sides!

This time I'll be in a private room and DH will be able to stay which he is going to do for the first night but after that will be going home to be with my daughter as I would like to keep her routine as normal as possible. Could have done with it being the other way around really!

 

[Nerdy]

I wouldn't dream of going to a place that doesn't allow for fathers to be present round the clock with their wives/partners and newborns. Fathers have rights and NEED to bond with their children too! Keep in mind women have been pregnant and getting acquainted with their LO from the day they discovered they were pregnant and to many men it isn't "real" until the baby is finally there. It's almost criminal to deprive a man of the experience!

That being said, my hubby will be present and will be staying with me the entire hospital stay and the hospitals we've been at all have private rooms for comfort and security.

 

[diz]

i understand both sides of the story, but this influenced my decision to have a home birth with all of mine.