Daughter won't settle at preschool

[Buckles]

Hello,
My LG has just started preschool and I've been telephoned each day to day she just won't settle and could I come and sit with her or pick her up.
This is fine but the more I have thought about this, the more I think I am being played by my 2 year old.
She cries uncontrollably = mummy comes to the rescue.
Any ideas on what I can do, she'll go in and be fine and then I normally get a call about an hour after I've left. It's making me feel awful about leaving her
Xx

 

[littlegreenie]

How about planning shorter sessions with her for a bit so they can be a success. Make the first 2 an hr then 1 hr 15 etc. then even if she is crying they know it's not long until you come. I thought my daughter would find it really hard to settle. She's really clingy and had only ever been with grandparents. They said she cried when I left her first few times then was ok. However I think if she thought she could get me back sooner she prob would have ! Good luck.

 

[RebeccaR19]

I used to work at a daycare with 3-year-olds. We almost never called the parents to come unless the child was having a major temper tantrum that could not be settled by anyone and we were unable to go on with the others because of the one child.

But I understand your feelings. You don't want to encourage the problem. We honestly never had any children who simply couldn't settle once their parents left. There was one little boy who would cry once his mommy left every day. And we would just offer him extra comfort or try to find something that interested him in order to keep his mind on something else. That worked for him.

Is there a picture of you in her room? That was a major coping technique for many kids who struggled with being separated. We all had a "Family" wall with pictures of the families on it so that the children could see their family whenever they wanted. When I went back to work as a teacher and my own son went to preschool, they also had a Family wall with pictures. If they don't have that, I wonder if you could give her a little album with pictures in it that she could look at or just a laminated picture for her to see. My mom went to Spain when my sister and I were little, and my sister carried my mom's picture around with her the whole time to stay calm. They also do that same idea for military children whose parents are deployed..they have a picture or a mommy/daddy doll to carry. I'd try any of those ideas first and then see how she does. And if she hasn't been going there very long, it might take her a couple of weeks to adjust. I personally believe that she will not get better if you go back to calm her down or pick her up. Because I believe that will only cause her to cry more for you in order to have you show up.