Day 4 & dreading every feed

[MumMumMum]

Dd1 was FF because she just wouldn't suck. Even FF was a big battle but MWs agreed we needed to stop.

I really wanted to try and BF Dd2. I've been able to but by the end of the first day it was painful and my nipples were really sore.

I've looked at so many pictures and videos about latch amd even when she looks lile she's on right it hurts.

My milk came in yesterday and that made them swollen and uncomfortable. Last night she was up from 11-3 and i'm exhausted. She wanted to feed constantly and wouldn't sleep. I was in tears.

It hurts even once she's finished and she's suddenly started going off the breast and wanting to go straight back on. So I have to go through the initial pain over and over and then the pain while she's sucking.

I've got the lanolin cream and that's not helping.

It's taken nearly two hours to get her settled and fed this morning. If dh wasn't here I couldn't take care of dd1 like this. I'm terrified of him going back to work and how i'll cope.

I'm finding bf and taking time for both girls (never mind me) really tough. Does it get better?

 

[Matilda85]

You poor thing. Congratulations on making it this far. It definitely gets easier. The first few weeks are a bit tough as you and baby figure it out together but each day will get easier. Just take it a day at a time. You can always reassess anytime if you need to
I promise it will get better. I love bf now and am feeding as I write this.
Do you have a lactation consultant you can speak to about latching?

 

[PearDrops20]

Get some nipple shields as they really helped with the pain in the first couple of weeks for me, also try kamillosan cream it smells lovely, they also like the taste even though your supposed to wipe it the breast pads soak up most of it and does help with the dryness of your nipples that could be causing the pain when latching as I too found other creams just weren't helping. I'm still breastfeeding now but I too thought long and hard about FF Isaac.
It does get better Talk to your midwife when you next see her and ask her to watch you feed you LO she may have some more insight into what could be causing the pain too if its not the latch xx

 

[MumMumMum]

Thanks ladies. I do feel so torn. I don't want to be a bad mum to dd1 by bf and doing the 'best' by dd2. At the same time I dred having to feed dd2 and spend the whole time hoping it's over soon. That doesn't feel right either

When I was pregnant I told myself I wouldn't beat myself up about feeding like I did last time. I was all for trying it and stopping if it didn't feel like it was working out for us as a family. Now i'm here though I just can't make the decision that easily.

I regretted wasting dd1's early weeks by beating myself up about bf not working and it feels like i'm doing it all over again.

 

[PearDrops20]

You could always try expressing, that will certainly help with any engorgement . She will get into her own feeding routine soon. Breastfeeding does take it out of you so I keep a bottle of lucozade by the side of my bed so I can sip on that while he feeds.
Its normal to feel torn, I feel like that just expressing milk for a bottle so my OH/mum could take him for a little bit and give me a break!
Your not alone and breastfeeding isn't for everyone so do not feel any regret or shame for FF your LO if you want to, give yourself a time limit and if things don't improve or she starts dropping weight then it may be right for you to bottle feed.

 

[Elisianna]

It gets a lot better. I didn't consider breastfeeding an "option" while I was pregnant which made braving the first couple of weeks much easier. I had scabs on my nipples and I remember waking up at night to feed her and just crying because it felt like this stabbing pain when she ate. I remember it being so much worse during the night cause I had nothing to distract me. During the day I would watch TV or talk with my hubby while I breastfed.

My baby also fed pretty constantly. After the first week she fed all of the time. It got to the point where she would only be off the breast for 5-20 minutes at a time before wanting more. (Except at night, she slept soooo well). It was painful but every week after the first couple it hurt less and less. At my six week check up I was still in a bit of pain which my doctor thought was unusual so she gave me prescription cream which was awesome!

My baby is not three months and I absolutely LOVE breastfeeding. It is one of my favourite things about having a baby. If you can stick it out, please do. It is amazing!

 

[Meezerowner]

If you can stick it out it should get better and can be very rewarding once you've cracked it.
You are in the worst time at the moment (the 1st week) as this is when your boobs will be engorged and sore and LO is not expert yet either. I would say it gets noticably better after about 3 or 4 weeks. Dont forget you are tired and hormonal and that makes it worse aswell!

I reckon BF is like breaking in a new pair of party shoes! - Your feet are so sore for a bit as you get used to them and you have blisters and rubbing points and nothing you can do is going to ease the pain as the shoes pinch into the broken skin. Then after a few wears the skin heals and hardens and suddenly they dont seem to hurt anymore!

Having said nothing helps I would recommend the lansinoh (for boobs and feet incidentally!) as it aids the healing of any broken skin.

Double check the latch with your midwife or health visitor. It might not be quite right. I was always worried about latch as I was in so much pain I would brace my feet against something and tears would flow. It just didnt seem right. But one day (pretty much overnight) it stopped and we havent looked back!

Also I used to dread every feed and feel relieved afterwards that there was 3 hours before the next ordeal. Then as the 3 hours was up I used to get more and more apprehensive and stressed. A couple of times as I was latching, I would flinch away from my babies in anticipation of the horrible pain.... the poor things would really cry and I felt so awful!

 

[jinglebear]

Hey hun. i have a 13 day old little girl and i totally understand how your feeling. i gave up bf my first after 10days as it was painful, i was exhuasted and basically worked myself up so much i failed miserably at it, I vowed to myself that i would at least give my 2nd the 10days i gave my first and then take each day as it comes.

I have to say im really enjoying it now im past the first week. the milk coming in is really tough but once u get past that it gets easier. as for the sore nipples it takes a few days for them to adjust to being sucked constantly and for them to toughen up. I eneded up with a blister the first day which was agony but its healed up now and its not sore to feed at all. I would seriously advise u get someone out to watch u feed and check your postioning as it will do wonders for your pain if lo isnt latching on properly. keep using the lanolin and put it on before each feed and let u boobs air dry after a feed. lo may be fussy if your breasts are too engorged and she cant get milk out quick enough. try expressing a little before u feed and tht should help. also if she starts screaming just take her off and calm her then try again. if you want to formula feed or even express dont beat urself up about it. your baby will be fine whatever you decide.....as for doing it with a toddler as well.....im also dreading dh going back to work but i guess i shall cross the bridge when it comes. good luck hun! xx

 

[lunawaffles]

It sucks, it's horrible, and it's exhausting for sure. But it does get better. I'm still feeling the pain and I have to use a nipple shield, which is making it even worse >_< but it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as the first week or two. Hang in there, but remember, if you switch to FF there's no shame, but of course if BF is important to you hang in here. I wish you the best and hope you heal up soon!

 

[TheNewMrs]

Have you had babys mouth checked for a tongue or lip tie? If its that painful then something isn't quite right. Your nipple should be right back touching babys soft palette. Roll your tongue along the roof of your mouth. Past the grooved bit, past the hard bit and onto the boneless soft bit. THAT is how far back into babys mouth the nipple needs to be so that'll give you an idea of how much breast they need to get in to get that far back.

 

[Tournesol]

Breastfeeding was so painful for me at the beginning. I had several midwives and lactation consultants check us and baby latches on perfectly every time. Sometimes it just hurts! It really does get better though, promise! But really don't beat yourself up, it's not worth it. In my opinion if you decide to go on to formula you're not giving up, you're doing what works best for you and your baby. Don't feel guilty.

 

[Jary]

Like other have mentioned try nipple shields! They saved me from quitting BFing. My LO had a bad latch and I was in so much pain I was like you and dreaded every feed. The shields gave me respite and I also used the lansinoh. Now LO doesn't need the shields as she can latch properly now.

Give them a go (I have avent shields) and don't give up! You're doing a fantastic job

 

[MissCurly]

What if you work out how to best latch your babe by 'shaping' your boob? My boy had a shallow latch in the beginning, and it hurt a lot! And something, usually latch isnt right if it hurting soo much that it brings you to tears!

So, what i did, and even do now is squish the boob in a sandwich ish way with your fingers and thumb, so you make sure that there is more flesh below the nipple and a little less above.
And then work out which angle of nipple is best when the boob goes into mouth and it doesnt hurt. I really hope this is making sense!

Keep taking babe off and relatch until it is comforting, it is not worth you being in pain and exacerbating it.

And if things are really bad, pump a little and syringe or cup feed to give you a break for a feed.

 

[xsadiex]

La leche league have helpful information on latching and positioning. Their book 'the womanly art of breastfeeding' helped me not quit last time! It takes a while to work out how to feed properly, once you're there it is so worth it!
Are there any breastfeeding groups in your area? X

 

[mrsswaffer]

I will also recommend nipple shields if all else fails. My son has a shallow latch and no amount of re-training or persevering helped, and I was getting more and more upset when he wouldn't get it, not to mention the cracked and bleeding nipples! We even got his minor tongue tie divided in the hopes that he'd then latch deeper, to no avail. I continue to BF with nipple shields now and he's had no problems with them. We're both much happier now.

 

[MumMumMum]

Thanks ladies. We've given her a few bottles in the evenings to give me a chance to heal. She seems happy with either for now. Although she brings up more breastmilk than she does formula and is more unsettled after. Could that be something in my diet?

I've now had more bleeding from my nipples and she took some skin off one yesterday. Ouch!

It takes two of us to get her on because she moves her arms so much. I feel trapped in the house. I just don't see how I could feed her if we went out.

I fed her at 12 for 15 mins and by 12.50 she was hungry again and fed for 25 mins. There's no break between feeding and winding as she takes so long to wind.

She's had her next check and she's only lost 0.5% of her birth weight so i'm pleased with that.

 

[xsadiex]

I know how you feel, my son is cluster feeding all day long I'm struggling to get out of the house, it's a nightmare being stuck on the sofa the whole time. It does get better, in a few weeks or so. Hope the pain gets better for you, it does sound like your latch could be improved, does she take a large mouthful of boob? Have you looked at videos or pictures explaining latch online? X

 

[CupcakeBaby]

Hi honey.

If you read some of my previous posts you'll see I posted very similar.

I cried every day with BF and like you dreaded her latching. In fact some feeds I'd be so nervous that as she went to latch I'd get scared and pull back!

I didn't know how I was going to get through it and I'd put so much pressure on myself all pregnancy.

But the ladies on here were a huge support. Just hearing that I wasn't the only person struggling helped me loads - it made me think "I can do it for one more day" on the days I wanted to quit.

Well, those one more days kept coming and now I have no BFing related problems and am sooooo glad we kept at it.

I don't know about others but you just assume BF will fall into place and be perfect - it's natures was after all.

Turns out nature can be a bitch sometimes!!

 

[mummy to 1.]

I felt exactly the same i was in agony for the first fiew weeks but then it does get alot easier n now it makes me cry at the thought of stopping feeding xxx

 

[dozydormouse]

I was in agony too to start with, but now at 10 weeks and it hasn't hurt for weeks , except when I'm engorged after LO sleeps longer, or when LO pinches a bit.

I had thought "if you're doIng it right, it shouldn't hurt" which isn't always true - it might hurt less if the latch is good, until your nipples get used to it. That was the case with me.

I had teeth marks in my knuckles at the hospital where I was biting my fist to stop myself howling. I dreaded every feed for a while and would sit and sob at LO for a minute or two while I psyched myself up to feed. I even FELT like throwing her away from me with some of the most painful surges - I overcame this by popping her off, taking some deep breaths and having a little cry before trying again.

I recommend a breastfeeding consultant, or drop-in clinics, the advice from those was better for me than just the MW / HV, I had my positioning slightly wrong. I also do a lot of lying down feeding at home, as my wrists get very painful, this made it easier for me too (lying on our sides facing toward each other.) My DH was a great help, encouraging me or just comforting me when I cried.

Take each day as it comes, each a mini victory, treat yourself and tell yourself you're doing brilliantly, you are