Day shy of 43 weeks and...

[Jendra]

The baby just plain isn't coming. I'm 43 weeks pregnant in two days. I was examined by my midwife yesterday and no dilation, no effacement. I tried to Google this and there was literally nothing on the net about this.

I have an appointment tomorrow on April Fools Day, of all days, to have one last appointment (Non stress test and cervical check) and then request a C section. I mean, I see zero point to labouring with an induction if I'm not even dilated. My mom did that, I went into distress and she had a C section anyway. I think I've given enough. Grandma was 43 weeks for all her pregnancies. I don't have the grit for that, or the time anymore.

I'm so over this. I'm tired. I have cramping and pelvic pain, Braxton hicks, and have for over a month. I'm getting depressed. I can't handle any more phone calls. You know how frustrating it is to be contacted for weeks and weeks about this? I think my patience finally eroded a week ago. You should see the hospital staff when I come in and tell them how far along I am. The horror on their faces. (My ultrasounds and nonstress tests have been excellent, by the way.)

My husband gets this last week off, courtesy of his boss, who originally made him take the three weeks off in advance of my labour. If I'm going to need a C section for medical reasons, best to just do it now so I'll at least have care at home. My mom is dead and my family all live three hours away. I have an aunt coming up for a week next week.

I never saw this coming. All I can say to the impatient women who are worried at 39 weeks that they're not dilated, think of me. It could be worse. Hit 40 weeks and no labour? Think of me, it could be worse. 41 weeks? Well, you're still in normal parameters. Think of me. It could be worse.

The ultrasound last time wouldn't compute because my due date was too far back. I never had any show. I never lost my mucous plug.

Wish me luck. Come hell or high water, my baby is about to April Fool my ass tomorrow. Must be channeling my grandpa.

 

[Eleanor ace]

. I had DS at 42 weeks and the constant "is the baby here yet? I'm so impatient!" made me want to strangle someone . It sucks that they'll push a c-section if you're not dilated . Here in the UK a lot of 1st time mothers end up being induced when they're not dilated or anything and usually it doesn't end in c-section, but I guess maybe we use different induction methods. Really hope you get good news tomorrow!

 

[katsbump]

I'm sorry, that sounds awful. Why have they not induced you? In Ireland you can't go more than 10 days over your due date. Anyway, good luck tomorrow!

 

[Bun87]

You poor thing, people have started texting me asking if 'there's any sign yet' and I haven't even hit my due date. I can't even imagine how you're feeling! Just think though, no matter what you'll have a gorgeous baby in your arms very soon and it'll be worth all this waiting without a shadow of a doubt! Thinking of you and hoping baby decides to get a wriggle on! Bet no one will believe you if you actually go into labour on April fools ;-) x

 

[mrscitysmith]

Sending you the hugest hug ((()))

 

[annaki]

Where are you for them to let you go 3 weeks over?

Your baby is going to be very cooked!x

 

[Jendra]

I'm in Canada. Legally speaking, no one is allowed to force you into medical procedures you do not consent to. So there was no letting me go this long. I chose to allow nature to take its course. As I have not been dilated all this time, inductions would have been unwise. The natural options require at least a little dilation to work (Breaking the water, foley catheter, membrane sweep. Tried the membrane sweep while being checked. Pain, pain, pain and no result).

I don't want pitocin or any drug-induced induction with a closed cervix either. That can lead to distress, like it did with my mother. My family goes overdue. My grandma had 10 pregnancies reach 43 weeks.

My midwife had me closely monitored all this time, with ultrasounds and nonstress tests that baby and I passed with flying colours. I'm really not worried about baby. The constant movement and tests tell me he's fine, that and my gut instincts. I'm the one who's going downhill. He'd probably hang out another week fine as you please, if I'd let him.

I've been off work since February 23 too.

 

[Lara310809]

I'm sorry hon I hear of ladies demanding inductions at 37 weeks for no good reason, and here you are 6 weeks later. I can't believe they've left it so long. Here you're only allowed to o 12 days overdue before you're induced. My last pregnancy was hell, and I only went 5 days overdue and that was PLENTY. I hope you go into labour very soon. The end result will be so worth it though; hopefully not long left

 

[tristansmum]

They don't force you into anything here either bit 12 days is the norm. You can ofcoarse refuse and they will monitor you. Do they not use the pessary/gel there to soft your cervix. That's the first step of induction here and usually gets you soft/dialated enough to break waters.

 

[Jendra]

There are gels. I consulted with an OB at 42 weeks. My midwife was legally required to do so and the OB was awful. She ruled out gel and wanted to insert a foley catheter or break my waters regardless of my unwilling cervix, saying "I'll get it in," which was a traumatic prospect. I'm not the sort of person who could mentally sustain a stranger forcing things into my vagina and cranking open my cervix from 0 cm. And in light of passing the tests, I thought it was unnecessary and brutish. I thought, "Oh, the baby will be born any day. I can do it."

Silly me. I don't regret disallowing the OB her recommendation, however. My cervix was high and still clamped shut yesterday. The attempted membrane sweep was a failure.

Today my underwear has been filled with fluid, yellow-tinged, not foul-odoured. Perhaps it's the plug loosening. Perhaps it's just more red herrings. I can't bear to get my hopes up again. Either way, this stops by tomorrow. It's a lonely experience and I'm wallowing in misery.

 

[New Mrs W]

Wow. I will be 11 days over tomorrow and i know how fed up i am, poor you. Good luck for tomorrow xx

 

[aliss]

That's a shame Jendra. There are a few girls in natural & home birthing who have gone this long too - you aren't alone. Good luck!!

 

[bassdesire]

She's not three weeks overdue. Women are often pregnant through 42 weeks. You have done a beautiful job allowing the baby plenty of time. I think at this point it is your decision. I would have waited, too. I would never be induced 10 days after my estimated due date-that's crazy!!

You've done all you can and things will work out no matter what!! At fr meeting baby!!

 

[dan-o]

Wow you must be so frustrated! Hope you go into labour last minute hun

Just wanted to add I had to be induced at 40w last time due to my blood pressure and I was completely unfavourable. On the day I had the prostaglandin pessary I was 0cm! Just the pessary and lots of walking/standing kicked me off into labour tho, and I had a natural and fast delivery! It's not always bad!

 

[JillMc]

I had the same problem with my DD. I was induced finally at 42+6 and ended up spending 1.5 days in labour before she finally came out. I had all the same symptoms you have for a good 5 weeks before she came. It got to the point that every time my phone rang, I never even said hello, I answered the phone with "No baby yet!" Which was pretty funny when I got a call from the tv people, the woman just laughed and said "Good to know." I ended up telling her the whole story and by the end she was raging for me This time have a different doc cause in the states for the next year and this doc says she wont make me go over 40+2 before they induce because of all the the problems I had with DD. So now we are on a countdown whuch is making all the pressure pain a little bit more bareable this time because I have an end date in sight. Good Luck!!!

 

[Erinsmummy]

wow i feel for you! I have always said i wont be induced, i feel its unatural and unless there is a reason why you cant continue the way you are (if yours or babys health is in danger) then things should be left alone! I will refuse induction all the way, even if i do get to 43 weeks, unless of course my baby needs to come out!

My advice to you is just keep going as you are, that baby will come out, cant stay in there too much longer!! Try all the usual things they suggest, walking ect.

Hope baby comes soon for u!

 

[Pielette]

Sorry, forum hopping but really wanted to say well done and good luck

You've done so well in allowing baby to bake as long as s/he wants, I know you must be so so uncomfortable but as you are both healthy and doing well I think you've made 100% the right decision. Labour WILL start soon - bear in mind that you can be showing no signs of dilation etc and then all of a sudden it starts, on the other side of the coin some women walk around 2cm dilated for weeks and nothing happens. I'm sure it will kick into gear very very soon.

I'm a firm believer in refusing induction IF baby is fine and you are fine. You've done really really well, please try to stay positive and rant on here whenever you need to

 

[Jendra]

Thanks for the words of encouragement, everyone.

I go to the hospital today. We're going to explore our options, including a C section. Who knows, maybe my cervix will be favourable for something much less invasive. That'd be good news.

If my husband didn't have to go back to work next week (After three weeks off already. His boss wouldn't let him wait and see ) I'd still be holding out. But I can't risk not having him home with me and going another half a week to a week.

If I required a C section later this week, I'd not have the help I need at home to recover. The world is not always set up for a new mother to follow her heart. If only that one detail were different, I think I could sustain a little more of this. Sometimes there are other risks to consider besides the obvious. Sometimes you have to weigh your life against everything else as well.

43 weeks tomorrow, and I'm throwing in the towel today. Wish me luck.

 

[IrelandsOwn]

Good luck, Jendra! Fingers crossed your cervix will cooperate today

 

[xJessie91x]

Good luck hun. Let's hope it's a nice easy labour when baby decides to come meet mumma xx