DD2 really hates strangers

[petite ping]

DD2 has always been a complicated baby. She has never liked strangers to a point that her grand parents have never been able to hold her or pick her up.

At 2.5 not much has really changed on that level. She doesn't like people she doesn't know intimately. If someone - she doesn't know or isn't comfortable with - talks to her, it's instant tears. If someone dares to pick her up - say at the playground when she's fallen over - she screams and screams. She doesn't like to be touched by adults she doesn't know or isn't comfortable with or by her sister (unless she initiates the contact herself).


She stays at her nanny's whilst I work and the nanny also takes care of other 2 other kids.
In France there are nanny groups where the nannies in one area meet up in a type of play group and they take care of each others kids so the children get used to interacting with other adults. Whilst DD2 was very shy in the beginning she opened up enough to let other nannies tie her shoes. This is like a Neil Armstrong step forward.

Apart from this total aversion to outsiders (and animals) she is totally normal - smiling, cuddly and playful. Bear in mind, the term outsider can cover people she sees everyday but has little interaction with - like the Nanny's husband who she has known since she was 4 months. I don't believe she's as scared as she seems it's more like watching a cat raise its hackles. I also thinks it's a question of control for her as she will give hugs as long as she initiates it - this is so rare its like finding gold.

DD2 has an intense relationship with her nanny and an even more intense one with me. She isn't clingy - just not open to others.

She'll be going to preschool next year and I am worried how she will react. She requires people to take the time to try and get to know her despite her prickles and once they earn her trust she truly is a lovely child. The school system in France don't do this. Everything is based on teaching children to be independent and not to become too attached to people.

DD1 is the opposite and is very sociable but even she suffered a lot starting school with tears and nightmares for a month. I dread to think how DD2 will take it.

Will she grow out of it? How can I help her?

 

[alibaba24]

Im not sure but my dd2 is the exact same x

 

[minties]

Sophie's the same too, and she's still weird with all the school mums which we see for at least 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week.

There is no way on earth she would let a stranger pick her up of she fell over, she would scream her head off. She's also a bit like this when other kids get into her personal body space - she will back off very quickly.

It's only this year that she's even let her dad get very close to her - now they cuddle more than Sophie and I do.

She seems to intensely love a very small amount of people and greatly dislike anyone else to tries to get near her.

 

[MelH]

Apparently, I was like that as a baby and I have definitely outgrown it. My Son was like that as well until about 3.5 yrs old then he started opening up, it was extremely frustrating but he got over it and is totally different now.

 

[kirstybumx3]

My niece was like that to the point she would hide up a corner for up to a hour before speaking to anyone, even us and we see her regularly! She's got better now, with us anyway but still takes a few minutes to settle in. She's still pretty much the same with strangers where she will hide behind her mum or cry but only men with beards or glasses now.
Eta: she's almost 3.5 and was this way since very young.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Mine used to be like this and was very fearful and would cry if a stranger so much as said hi to her. She did grow out of it though and she is so much better these days. She is still shy but she will talk to a stranger shyly and doesn't cry. She is really good at making friends these days too.