Deadlines

[Halle71]

I know that everyone on here wants to get a BFP as soon as possible but does anyone have a cut-off point, a point in time after which they will stop trying?

Lots of my friends have criticized me because I have a ‘deadline’ – I am 40 and if I don’t get pregnant by my 41st birthday I am not sure I want to carry on trying despite desperately wanting another child. This is for a combination of reasons – the age gap between siblings, my age (I know you can get pregnant a lot later than 41 and I don’t want to offend anyone) and my work situation. I have also seen friends go through years of emotional pain and expensive treatment that have ended in disappointment and I don’t want to spend the next 4-5 years obsessed with getting pregnant to the detriment of my existing family.

However,maybe when my deadline arrives I will change my mind and keep extending it -I have already cheated and added two months because we took longer to start TCC than planned – I have been ready for over a year but my OH only agreed to start tcc in Jan and then changed his mind and we half-heartedly started in Feb but didn’t DTD enough.

Basically I am giving myself six months and arming myself with a CBFM, the contents of Holland and Barratt and a positive mental attitude.

 

[Jennifer01]

Hello!

I have set a deadline of 2 years. I will still be under 40, it's more because my teenager will be out of the house in college and oh and I will just enjoy ourselves and our freedom. We have already been trying 2.5 years, I think by then I will have had enough. Then again talk to me in 2 years

 

[crystal443]

^^WSS

Its so difficult to put a time line on it because I always extend it

 

[Halle71]

I also had to use it as a bit of an ultimatum for my OH who was indecisive and uncommunicative about the whole tcc thing.
Actually less of an ultimatum more like putting all my cards on the table so he could make an informed decision. AKA - a kick up the arse....

 

[Jax41]

Hi Halle

Okay, in my head my deadline was always 35, I wanted to be a Mum before my Mum was a Mum with me - hope you're keeping up there?! Then it was 40, sorry girls but I though once I hit that number I would be too old and wouldn't bother, but then what with one thing and the other I never really got started until then So now I've no deadline. I'm going to keep trying until mother nature tells me otherwise

Good luck hun!

 

[Pinky32]

I have given myself the deadline of july when i'll be 43 - I came off bcp last aug and my cycles were very irregular so i started taking agnus castus in dec and 10 days later af came and ended a 53 day cycle.

I had a possible mc in Nov cycle so i know "things" are working down there

Since then my cycles are good, short but good - im on my 3rd cycle since the new year and got my first ever EWCM on 1st jan cycle.

The next cycle i got EWCM and my first ever positive OPK

This cycle I decided to not take agnus castus and I ov all on my own which im over the moon about

Im now 3DPO and have a very good positive attitude now

But come july, if it hasnt happened, I will be stopping, Ive read lots of ladies who have had children after that age, but for me, its the end of the road and to stop myself TTC and obsessing I will go back on bcp.

I wish everyone tons of and hope that none of you reach your deadline

 

[goddess25]

Personally I think for me if I don't have my next child by 40 then I will be done I think. I will be 38 in April so have given myself a few years.

 

[CHILLbilly]

I'm going to be 41 this July so probably by next summer I will stop. We're going to try IUI in a few cycles...We're recovering from our wedding that was planned when I was already pregnant so we weren't too worried about saving money for treatments. I sadly had an etopic of sorts at 8 weeks..and thought I would enjoy my dream wedding and then TTC after....
We're going to try like hell....and if no success then will look into adopting.... I think we will adopt even if we do have our own. So to answer your question.....1.5 more yrs thats it.....

 

[bluerose2012]

I know that everyone on here wants to get a BFP as soon as possible but does anyone have a cut-off point, a point in time after which they will stop trying?

Lots of my friends have criticized me because I have a ‘deadline’ – I am 40 and if I don’t get pregnant by my 41st birthday I am not sure I want to carry on trying despite desperately wanting another child. This is for a combination of reasons – the age gap between siblings, my age (I know you can get pregnant a lot later than 41 and I don’t want to offend anyone) and my work situation. I have also seen friends go through years of emotional pain and expensive treatment that have ended in disappointment and I don’t want to spend the next 4-5 years obsessed with getting pregnant to the detriment of my existing family.

However,maybe when my deadline arrives I will change my mind and keep extending it -I have already cheated and added two months because we took longer to start TCC than planned – I have been ready for over a year but my OH only agreed to start tcc in Jan and then changed his mind and we half-heartedly started in Feb but didn’t DTD enough.

Basically I am giving myself six months and arming myself with a CBFM, the contents of Holland and Barratt and a positive mental attitude.

im the same as you ive just gone 40 in feb and said ill give it till im 41 as i dont think id want to carry on then but who knows how we will feel at 41 if we still have not had a bfp im just going to wait a see what i feel like and take it from there

 

[drsquid]

ill be 39 on saturday. i am trying for my first. i havent even considered it not working. ive failed 2 iui cycles. but im hopeful for the next as i had an hsg today which was all good, and im hoping for the fertility bump of an iui. i think id consider ivf but hope not to have to go there.

 

[pdmcd17]

I am giving my self till this dec then were done ttc I will be 41 in aug
and my reason arent biological timed its all about retirement age when would this one be done unniversity driven ( i dont want to worry about retiring when they are in school still) its stupid but its my anal planning comming out.