Dealing with those who don't approve?

[tarax]

My OH and I told our parents we are TTC, my mother was happy but my father was unhappy. My parents are divorced so my dad says children are expensive, our economy is terrible to raise them in, and they are just an overall burden
My OH's mother passed away when he was young but his father asked if it was really what we wanted, commented how we are young (21) and should be single experimenting with other people sexually and getting drunk?

We have been in a relationship for 2 years but were friends/dated for another 2 (without commitment). We are now moving in together and have good jobs..I work at a bank and my OH is a paramedic.

How do you guys deal with negativity? Im worried about their reaction when i do become pregnant..

 

[tarax]

Well..my OH is going back to school for another year (night school) thats not in his current field but more of an interest he has. Soo i understand that but by the time i fall pregnant and have the baby he will be graduated the program.

 

[wish4baby]

I think there's always people who will disagree with your decisions...from family to perfect strangers. Probably even more so once you have a baby! If you feel like its right for you and your OH (and eventually baby) then you may have to just deal with it. Form a go-to response, something like, "I understand where you are coming from, but we have carefully decided we will (fill in the blank), its right for us" - for use with family and friends, and maybe something a little more rude for strangers who like to stick their nose in your business
That way in the heat of the moment you a) don't say something you'll regret later, or b) get all tongue tied and look unsure
Good luck!

 

[tarax]

That's great advice, thank you

 

[jessthemess]

I agree with the previous poster.

And for me sometimes I treat criticism like that to check on my true feelings. Like when someone questions my actions, I like to gauge my reaction to make sure I'm making a good decision and not an emotional one. Like do I get angry? Or, do I, like you have done, calmly run through the reasoning behind my decision? I think you did a great job of explaining why their fears aren't founded. And if you cannot explain it to them like you have to us, then know that you really don't need to anyway. Starting a family is a personal decision.

BESIDES. If you waited for perfect conditions.... ummmm you'd never be able to start your family.

 

[tarax]

You're very right! I dont mind the strangers but with our fathers its can be a little hurtful. Im sure they will come around.

 

[praying13]

Sweety, as long as you live there will always be something you did or didn't do right, according to others. My advice, do what you and your OH want. Who is gonna raise this kid? Who is gonna provide financially? You and your OH. I look at it like this, if you wait until EVERYONE is okay with the decisions you make, you're gonna be stuck in the same situation forever!!
Best of luck

 

[Flower15]

I was 21 when I fell pregnant with DD. I was halway through a degree at University and my parents werent thrilled when I first told them. They were like your Dad and wanted me to enjoy myself first. My Mum soon came round, but my Dad took a long time to get his head around it, he still thought of me as his baby! But as soon as he saw LO, he has doted on her. She is 18 months now and has him wrapped round her little finger . They are very close. We are now planning on TTC baby number 2, I dont want a big age gap. What Im trying to say is that there is light at the end of the tunnel, my Dad took a long time to accept it, but he is brilliant with her now and she has made the family even closer together. Who can resist newborn cuddles ? Like a PP said you cant wait round to make everyone happy, someone will always feel the need to interfere. I bet I get a few eyebrows raised when I get pregnant again, but it will all be worth it x