Definitely not okay with the things people are saying. LONG

[Jamie0987]

So about seven months ago my cousin informed my that she was going to do a water birth so I started looking in to it. Not because I wanted a water birth for my delivery, but because I didn't really know much about. The whole thing fascinated me! I decided to start thinking about what kind of birth I wanted and doing all the research. I found out that it's unlikely that the Navy will pay for it which is fine. "I'll just do a natural hospital birth and do my laboring at home" I thought to myself. Fast forward a couple of weeks... I've officially decided to do a natural hospital birth BUT now I have my mother asking me "well, why? What experience are you trying to negate this time around!" No experience! I had a great labor despite the fact that I was induced, given an episiotomy, and had a suction used on my first born. WHATEVER! The good out weights the bad. I had an amazing doctor who explained everything that was happening, a wonderful nursing staff who never pushed anything on me, and loved one surrounding me with support. That was all I was asking for. This time, I want more, I want different. I know what my body can do and I know I have the strength to do this. Shouldn't that be enough? On top of that I have people telling me I'm crazy to not get the epidural and that it's going to hurt...DUH! It's labor, of course it's going to hurt. What is really bothering me is that quite a few people are tellin me that "you can't give birth naturally to a baby over seven pounds! You're too small" What?! Where's the support, like last time? I don't know, maybe I'm just overly sensitive right now. Maybe they'll all jump
On board in 18 weeks when I'm actually in labor...? Sorry this is so long, but these comments and negative thoughts are starting to get to me.

 

[louisiana]

just ignore them and try not to let them bring you down.
have you disscussed a natural birth with your midwife?if they are happy then dont worry.obviously things can change but stick to your guns.

i ended up with an emcs under aneasthetic and if i do get pregnant again i dont no what options will be available for me but i wont be listening to family and friends

 

[Jingles23]

Blah, just ignore them! You're the one who is going to be in labour and you can do it however you want to. My SIL kept telling me that there was no way I would be able to go without an epidural. But, I'm like you. It's labour. It's going to hurt. So, do what you feel like.
Another thing. A friend of mine just had her baby. She is a tiny little lady. Maybe 5'3" and under 100 lbs. Her son was 10 lbs!!!! And she did it naturally with no issues. So, you can definitely do it.
Good luck!

 

[PepsiChic]

I had a natural hospital birth with my now toddler, I'll be doing the same again this time around - I would opt for water birth but the hospital doesnt have water birthing suites and thats ok to me, the water birth would of just been a bonus!

Barry was 7lb 6oz, this baby is already growing ahead so im expecting him to be bigger then his brother and it hasnt phased me in the slightest.

My OBGYN is more like a midwife in the fact she fully supports my natural birthing plan and thatwhy we moved back here 12 hours from where we were living just so she can be the one delivering the baby!

Its important to surround yourself with positive people, avoid the people being negative for a while till they get bored of that topic. And get reading the positive home/natural birthing stories on this forum!

 

[Larkspur]

I had a natural birthing-centre birth with my 8-pound-1 baby boy. I found it pretty annoying when I'd tell people I was planning a natural birth at a midwife-led centre and got, among others, the following responses:

- "You know, statistically, midwives kill more babies than specialists." (Not even true.)
- "A birthing centre? ARE YOU SURE?"
- "Aren't you too old to give birth without a specialist?" (I'm 36)
- "Well, of course, you do what you feel comfortable with but if I hadn't been at the hospital already when I had my haemorrage, I would have DIED."
- "Ha... you'll be begging for an epidural within two hours." (No.)

Yes, giving birth without an epidural hurts but it's quite doable and I would do it again. In fact, I had a much better birth experience than a friend who had her baby two days earlier, and chose an epidural.

 

[elohcin]

My 9lb10oz 15.5" headed boy was an unassisted homebirth. My cousin's sister had a baby boy the same size a month later (and she's my size) and was told in labor that he was too big, she couldn't have him, so they sectioned her. Now, I know there are some cases where c/s's are necessary, but it's not likely that she "couldn't" have the baby. If the hospital had let her get up off the bed, if she'd had gravity working with her AS she opened up her pelvis more (the traditional "on your back" position CLOSES the pelvis), it likely would have worked out. We are made to think that bodies can only birth babies of a certain size, and that's simply not true. Even many doctors assessments of pelvic openings that are "too small" are incorrect! It's just not fair to women anymore.

I, too, had a pretty good hospital birth the first time around (medicated, too), but I knew I wanted something different the next time (and that's when I had my first unassisted homebirth). It's not about wanting to "fix" something or prove something, but it's about being better educated and knowing what you do/don't want, AND knowing that your body can do it! And let me tell you....MOST AMAZING EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE.

 

[Jamie0987]

Thank you to everyone who responded. It's comforting to see positive feedback on a subject that seems so easily dismissed in the US. I'll be discussing natural birthing positions and the rest of my birthing plan with my doctor this month.

 

[palacemommy]

I know how you feel. I get similar confrontations, mainly from people who don't know a thing about giving birth. Just ignore it all.

 

[flubdub]

Ignore them. These are exactly the reasons that I wouldn't discuss my birthing plans with my family. People tend to spout the first bit of crap that comes into their heads.

 

[chattyB]

I've had many unfavourable comments about having a planned home birth (hopefully!) in January. When i discussed it with my closest friend, she explained that many people - other mothers in particular, wear their "labour stories" like a badge of honour ... the more difficult their experience, the better. They survived, their baby survived, they're goddesses who went through hell for their births. When a women starts to talk about home birth / natural birth, many take it as a dismissive gesture towards women who didn't have that experience, making these women feel that their experiences aren't "worthy", that they did it "wrong", that theres something wrong or weak with them because they chose to have pain killers etc.

I CAN understand it from their view - but i feel its wrong for someone to berate other choices to make themselves feel better about themselves. I don't tell people how to birth their babies, so what gives them the right to judge me on my choices?

 

[LockandKey]

I would definitely ignore them and do what you want. This is YOUR birth alone, and YOUR birthing and labor to experience and make the decisions for, so how dare they try and take that away from you with negative words and being unsupportive.

I know it's hard, but don't let them get to you what so ever. In the end, I think you would feel very proud of your accomplishment.

Like you, I had a decent labor, went into it naturally with waters going on their own, it was the birth that went horribly for me episiotomy, vacuum and forceps, along with problems that followed both me and DD well after the birth, but I am so willing to try again, because I honestly feel I would be mad or upset with myself if I didn't give this one last shot. So the next time I fall pregnant, I WILL do it, no matter what. Besides, I have always heard from plenty of people that 2nd births are soooo much easier, that's something to look forward to.

I am a tiny person, '5'2' and 115lbs, a good friend of mine, who is tinnier than I am, just naturally gave birth to her 2nd today, her baby was 8lbs 10oz. It is definitely doable, so don't let them try and feed you that load of crap.

I wanted an all natural birth with my first, obviously didn't happen, but for the most part, people were supportive, except this one cousin I have, don't really even like her, and she felt the need to step in and tell me how crazy I was and how she would want her birth to be just like how her plastic surgery for her big fake boobs went, get knocked out and then wake up with something new, not even attempt to work for it what so ever! This response made me sick! Really! And generally I try to be a nice person, but at that point I just spoke up and stood up for myself and my reasons, and she shut up and and didn't say anything afterwards.

If there has anything I've found out since becoming a mother it was that people seem to like to judge in an almost painful and critically negative way, always trying to make the decisions for you, don't let them.

 

[Jamie0987]

See, that's how I'm feeling when people start telling I'm crazy, or that natural birthing isn't the right way. I FEEL judged, when I'm sure they don't mean to come off as judgemental or negative. To each his/her own, but I don't want people around who, while I'm in labor, are whispering in my ear "this would be a lot easier if you would just get an epidural." Well, I think I'll just ignore the negativity and enjoy pregnancy and all the research I've been doing.

 

[PrincessKay]

Ah that brings back so many memories. People used to say allsorts to me but i just ignored them. The bit about 'if id haemorraged at home i'd have died' isnt true. I haemorraged at home at im pretty sure im still alive.

Ignore them, women were born to to this!!

 

[minties]

See, that's how I'm feeling when people start telling I'm crazy, or that natural birthing isn't the right way. I FEEL judged, when I'm sure they don't mean to come off as judgemental or negative. To each his/her own, but I don't want people around who, while I'm in labor, are whispering in my ear "this would be a lot easier if you would just get an epidural." Well, I think I'll just ignore the negativity and enjoy pregnancy and all the research I've been doing.

This is insane. If it was the wrong way, surely it wouldn't be called natual!

How do all these people think animals give birth? Is there an anaesthesiest on the savannah who goes around giving epidurals to lions? Do great apes pop into the nearest hospital for episiotomies?

I'm sure all meercats give birth on their backs in stirups, while the other meercats tell them to hold their breath and push for the count of 20...