VickyLou
1 beautiful little lady.
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2009
- Messages
- 1,819
- Reaction score
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A brief bit of back ground. Sorry if this is long.
So me and OH tried for 8 years to get my beautiful little girl now 16 months almost. After years of disappointed I finally gave up and decided to concentrate on other things in life after one more cycle trying,in March 2014 I got my BFP. As you can image I was over the moon. So happy and excited when we found out she was a girl.
Now I find myself pregnant, unplanned, unexpected, a massive shock. After trying so long to get our first we never thought it would happen again for us so soon. I always wanted my daughter to have a sibling but not for at least 3-4 years. My OH was adamant he didn't want any more.
So December we found out, I'll be honest I was gutted, I cried a lot, I felt so many emotions. Lots of guilt for my daughter as I wouldn't get much time with her on her own. So we had an early scan measuring 8 weeks I hoped that would make me feel better about it, NOPE! I found the heartbeat @9half weeks, I didn't feel anything. At my '12' week scan i measured 14 weeks, I hope seeing it move and looking like a baby and seeing the heart flicker I would feel happy, NOPE. So we announced to Facebook in the hope that being able to talk about it would make it more real, I started to get brief moment of excitement but still no feeling really.
We booked at private gender scan for 16+4 in the hope that baby becoming a he or a she would make it real.
Well here we are I had my scan on Saturday I was praying for a boy since we only want 2 kids. The tech scanned for ages, baby was sitting in its legs and couldn't get a clear view so sent us for a walk. Went back scanned again baby hadn't moved much but he took a guess at a girl and invited us back to confirm next week. I am 100% sure it's a girl, my gut told me from day 1 and one of the pictures I have of between the legs Defo tells me girl. It's far to similar to my daughters at the same stage in pregnancy.
Now not only do I feel guilt for my daughter, I feel so guilty I feel like this. I'm so deflated and disappointed we are having another girl I don't no how to shift this feeling. I feel no bond with this pregnancy this time. Again which makes me feel so guilty.
Any advice ladies I'm so scared of rejecting this baby and developing PND.
Sorry it's so long. Thanks for reading if you got this far. Xx
So me and OH tried for 8 years to get my beautiful little girl now 16 months almost. After years of disappointed I finally gave up and decided to concentrate on other things in life after one more cycle trying,in March 2014 I got my BFP. As you can image I was over the moon. So happy and excited when we found out she was a girl.
Now I find myself pregnant, unplanned, unexpected, a massive shock. After trying so long to get our first we never thought it would happen again for us so soon. I always wanted my daughter to have a sibling but not for at least 3-4 years. My OH was adamant he didn't want any more.
So December we found out, I'll be honest I was gutted, I cried a lot, I felt so many emotions. Lots of guilt for my daughter as I wouldn't get much time with her on her own. So we had an early scan measuring 8 weeks I hoped that would make me feel better about it, NOPE! I found the heartbeat @9half weeks, I didn't feel anything. At my '12' week scan i measured 14 weeks, I hope seeing it move and looking like a baby and seeing the heart flicker I would feel happy, NOPE. So we announced to Facebook in the hope that being able to talk about it would make it more real, I started to get brief moment of excitement but still no feeling really.
We booked at private gender scan for 16+4 in the hope that baby becoming a he or a she would make it real.
Well here we are I had my scan on Saturday I was praying for a boy since we only want 2 kids. The tech scanned for ages, baby was sitting in its legs and couldn't get a clear view so sent us for a walk. Went back scanned again baby hadn't moved much but he took a guess at a girl and invited us back to confirm next week. I am 100% sure it's a girl, my gut told me from day 1 and one of the pictures I have of between the legs Defo tells me girl. It's far to similar to my daughters at the same stage in pregnancy.
Now not only do I feel guilt for my daughter, I feel so guilty I feel like this. I'm so deflated and disappointed we are having another girl I don't no how to shift this feeling. I feel no bond with this pregnancy this time. Again which makes me feel so guilty.
Any advice ladies I'm so scared of rejecting this baby and developing PND.
Sorry it's so long. Thanks for reading if you got this far. Xx