Dejected w/ Prenatal Care and feel like quitting

[MetalMaiden]

I am 36 weeks and ready to give up prenatal care. From not being able to see a midwife til 12 weeks, passed off to a new midwife to the practice, having a negative experience with her and being passed back to my “original” one of 3 visits, an unpleasant phone call today with reference to my negative experience with the brand new midwife, I feel depressed and alone with no care. I don’t want to go back to the midwifery practice, I need to see a doc for a referral for an obgyn; I called a couple offices who don’t have an avail appt for months ... I feel absolutely fucked. Next week is my last week of work so I can’t exactly take more than a day off because I have a pretty stiff workload and prep to do, and I’ll be almost 37 weeks. I had my second at 38 weeks. I’ve been crying all day since my unpleasant phone call and I can’t stop. A small piece of my mind says it’s negligent to not have prenatal care until labour but I am literally out of time. I take solace in the fact it’s my third I’ll know when to go to hosp ect (but then the mw I spoke to today said the hospitals don’t really like midwives here in AB which makes me even more concerned there will be issues) then went on to bash all but a choice few local obgyns. I am depressed, confused, scared and feel totally alone. And mad. This is the worst prenatal care I’ve ever had. I don’t know what to do. I feel sick.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

You've had care until now, so you havent neglected yourself or baby! Can you show up in labor and get whoever (ob or midwife) is on call? Its risky but it's an option.

 

[Sander]

This is maybe bad advice but if you’ve had a healthy pregnancy so far and aren’t high risk for complications (preeclampsia etc), I’d be inclined to just wait until you’re in labour and go to the ER

I mean you’re so close at this point. But if you’re worried about things, a midwife visit only has to be a couple of minutes so you could also continue going.

Sorry you’ve had such a negative experience!

 

[Teanna]

Wow that sounds terrible. If your 36 weeks without complications it's probably not the end of the world to miss the last few appointments. If you have any concerns you could always go to the hospital. I'm sorry your having such a terrible time. I know in Ontario some hospitals/ doctors don't like midwives as well. I can see why that'd cause unneeded stress during the birth.

 

[MetalMaiden]

Wow that sounds terrible. If your 36 weeks without complications it's probably not the end of the world to miss the last few appointments. If you have any concerns you could always go to the hospital. I'm sorry your having such a terrible time. I know in Ontario some hospitals/ doctors don't like midwives as well. I can see why that'd cause unneeded stress during the birth.

I had the same midwife for my first two babies on Vancouver island... I moved to AB in 2017 and I am shocked at how completely different health care is and midwifery care.

 

[MetalMaiden]

You've had care until now, so you havent neglected yourself or baby! Can you show up in labor and get whoever (ob or midwife) is on call? Its risky but it's an option.

I kind of figure you get the on call dr anyway (if you don’t have a midwife).. they won’t let me give birth on the outside step so the only thing I feel bad about is the last few weeks care

 

[MetalMaiden]

This is maybe bad advice but if you’ve had a healthy pregnancy so far and aren’t high risk for complications (preeclampsia etc), I’d be inclined to just wait until you’re in labour and go to the ER

I mean you’re so close at this point. But if you’re worried about things, a midwife visit only has to be a couple of minutes so you could also continue going.

Sorry you’ve had such a negative experience!

I’m really glad someone else would consider doing the same... I was starting to question if I am going off the hormonal deep end so not being completely unreasonable