Denial

[MrsA85]

I already have a 2 and a half year old boy and am currently 35 weeks pregnant with what they said was another boy. I had my heart set on a girl, everyone I know has girls, everyone I know who is pregnant is having a girl and I just assumed I would be having my girl.

At my 20 week scan the woman said she saw "something" and "I think it's a boy" so even thought after she said yes she was going to say boy I cannot let go of her doubt at the beginning. I saw the "something" but it didn't look attached and there was no obvious genital shot for either sex. We announced as knowing it's a boy but when people ask me if we know what we are having I always say "they think it's a boy". It is like I just will not accept it. I just can't let go of my imaginary daughter.

I have even been to psychics who have said I am going to have a girl and I dream of the surprise after giving birth of announcing it was a girl all along. I read anything about scans being wrong and I compare scan pictures of people I know having girls to see if there is anything similar to mine.

I was doing really well with just getting ready for our baby and not dwelling too much on the sex and just pretending we didn't know either way. Then my husband's cousin (who was convinced she was having a boy) announced she was having a girl a few days ago and it all came flooding back because she is just a spendaholic and I know will constantly be showing off all the girly things she is buying. I just get told by my family to be grateful to be having a baby but I mourn the girl I won't have.

I had a terrible relationship with my mother and just crave that special mother daughter bond. I know I'm being selfish and then I just feel guilty and it makes me more upset because I feel like I'm a terrible person for being so unhappy about having a boy. I can't talk to anyone about it anymore because they just tell me to get over it and be grateful for a healthy baby boy but I just cannot let go of that hope that I will still give birth to a girl in a few weeks.

Has anyone had such strong feelings and then when they see their baby it hadn't mattered anymore? I'm really scared I will not bond because of wanting a girl so much and I had PND last time and have been suffering already in this pregnancy. Please tell me there is hope. I love my first born so much and was so happy he was a boy since I wanted a boy first but I don't know how to be happy about this second boy. I really want to because I don't want my baby to feel unwanted like I felt growing up but I don't know how to accept it and not have that hope.

Sorry for the long rant but I have been storing a lot up.

 

[dollych]

Big hugs to you xx
I know exactly how you feel. I had really bad GD when I found out my 2nd was another Boy. Like you I was in denial, I used to say to everybody ' they think it's a boy'. I used to research everything on the internet about sonogrophers getting gender wrong, comparing scan pics and even imagining in my mind that they got it wrong and I gave birth to a girl. I even pictured myself on the bed in the labour ward and the midwife saying
" You've actually had a girl"!!.
I really feel for you because I know what you're going through. All I can say is that it's not really common for sonogrophers to get it wrong when it's a boy.... Sorry.

When my beautiful boy was born, I loved him so much and wouldn't change him for the world. I'm so glad I had another boy because my two boys are best friends now and it's so nice seeing them talking and playing together. They are also 2 and a half years apart .
Being honest I still had the longing for a Girl, but my GD was so much better when he arrived.
I still wanted a Girl and am currently 37 weeks pregnant with my 3 rd Boy. I tried the ' girl diet ' etc but it didn't work. I had GD again this time really bad, but I'm just excited for him to be born now.

I truly believe you are supposed to have the children you have and nothing ' sways'.
Hope you feel better soon. Good luck xx

 

[MrsM17]

My 2nd son and failed girl sway is 12 weeks now and I am sooooo happy he isnt a girl, he is such an easy baby compared to my first son and an absolute joy and always smiling and wants cuddles. He's perfect.

We stayed team yellow but I saw 'something' on the scan, like you not an obvious willy like all the google searched i did like crazy, it was like someone had drawn on a rude cartoon cock and balls under his tummy, I spent a long time wondering if it was a girl but low and behold out popped my beautiful son.

I am also still craving a girl though and its up in the air if we will try for a 3rd. But this does not reflect in the slightest on what I already have my my 2 beautiful boys x

 

[MrsA85]

I am really hoping that when I see this baby I will not care anymore about the hypothetical girl. That's why after the 20 week scan I didn't pay for another just to check, I thought it was best to find out no question at the birth. We have names for both and all baby things are neutral anyway so it sometimes feels like we just don't know and have stayed yellow. I went for neutral bedding and first clothes with my first anyway so it was always going to stayed grey and white whatever sex we were having.

It feels really good to be able to talk to people who understand though and don't just tell me to get over it. Thank you for giving me hope that either way things are going to be fine x