Depressed and ttc

[clb1982]

Anyone here suffer from depression and ttc?
Just want to know how its effecting any of you out there.

I have suffered from severe depression for 10 months now. Came off bc pill 5 and a half months ago and af been a little all over the place - unusual for me as in the recent past when not on bc i had regular 28 cycles. Not sure if the anti depressants i stopped taking have messed up my body.

Keep reading that being stressed or depressed can make it hard to conceive

Would love someone to talk to in same boat

 

[jo27]

Just wanted to say hi, i'm sure others on here have been in similar positions and will be able to give you some advice / support

 

[clb1982]

Hi Jo

Thanks for your advice, i hope i can find some one who has experienced depression and ttc. Ive just signed up for yoga and due to start in the new year as i want to everything possible to help me relax and think more positively.

All the best luck to you for the new year x

 

[dakini]

I have suffered from depression for years now and been on medication since I was diagnosed, so about 6-8 years. I am now off my Paxil (too many scary stories about it), but thinking I have to go and talk to my doctor at January appointment about going back on something as I tried St. John's Wort and after a month or so of being on it I get nauseous and headaches, but I am not myself. I need something to help out.

I don't know about the meds messing up your cycles, but it could i guess. Maybe talk to your doctor about that?

I am still in the ttc phase, so we can go through it together. If you ever want to PM me, feel free. I know how hard depression is and how how much additional pressure ttc is...and i know what it's like to not be yourself. I have looked into depression and pg a lot, and I know that you have to care for yourself or you can endanger baby. And I know as much as I don't want to go back on anything, there's something just not quite right in my brain still and I have to do something so I look after myself and baby until they are here, and then am able to look after them once they're here and not suffer from PPD (that really scares me - Brooke Shields 'Down Came the Rain' is a very good book about PPD).

Anyway, PM me if you need to, and I'll try and post some more later...have to run and do some work!

 

[FJL]

I was diagnosed with 'major depression' 2 1/2 years ago.

I had thryoid and other tests done as nothing in my life (at that point) was triggering it. The Dr thinks that it is pure chemical imbalance in my case. I'd suffered depression as a young teenager and tried to slit my wrists when I was 14.

I was put on AD's. When we first wanted to TTC I asked my Dr if I should come off AD's and she suggested I try and go down to 1/2 a tablet as in her view it was very rare to cause abnormalities in the baby from this particular AD and that it was better for ME to take that slight risk. That pregnancy was stressful enough and she didn't want to risk me lapsing again.

About 4 months ago the shit really hit the fan and I was at an all time low. I went to my Dr again (lovey woman BTW) and she refered me to a psychologist (still waiting for my March appointment ) and told me to go back up to full dose. This time it was triggered by infertility and the stress and sadness that goes with it.

Feeling better now and cut down to 1/2 a tablet again last night.

Depression is the worst thing to ever go though and unless you've been there you cannot fully understand. You cannot just 'snap out of it' like many people seem to think because it is an illness. A person with cancer never gets told to snap out of it.

PM me ANYTIME you want hun

 

[dakini]

Ok, going to do further information now...and please take with a grain of salt as most of this so far is from internet and some magazines...going to be talking to my doctor about it January 2. When I wanted to come off Paxil he knew it was because we were going to be trying soon and I was scared about all of the things I had read about Paxil and birth defects.

When I have been looking into pg and depression I have found sites that say that depressed women give birth, on average, at around 35 weeks.

Also, if you are on meds, some babies can go through withdrawal after birth (usually only lasts a week or two).

Also, if you are depressed and pg you may not look after yourself as well as you should (ie eating properly, taking vitamins, mild exercise, etc) and this can affect the health of baby.

As well, you are at a higher risk of PPD if you are depressed (stands to reason - I am very scared about this and have one of my friends looking out for me, or I should say, will be looking out for me, in addition to family; if she calls and it's been 2 weeks since I've been out of the house or am feeling down for no reason (ie, if baby has been sick for a week straight and I have been getting little sleep because of that, it's okay to really not feel like going out, but if baby is sleeping fine and I just don't have the motivation then she is coming over and pounding on the door until someone answers and either taking me out (leaving baby with DH or another babysitter) to at least get out of the house without baby, or staying there for an hour or two to let me have a bath and a nap...I love this friend! She knows my fears and is there for me, no questions asked. And if I seem to be suffering from PDD she will help get me out of it, and I have told her that if she thinks I am suffering from it, to call me out on it, and if I yell at her and am upset, probably it's because I haven't realized it myself and that a few days later I'll realize she was right and I was wrong and to please forgive me for anything I might say. She totally agrees and knows it's a hard thing to deal with. She had situational depression and works with mental health patients everyday. She is a great friend.)

I don't want to scare you, but I have been dealing with this for years, and been thinking and looking into this for almost a year now (even though we are only on cycle 4 of ttc) so think I've gone through every emotion about it.

Personally, I have been looking into meds that are safer (nothing is guaranteed) during pg and bf'ing. I don't want to get into a situation where I am depressed and have to look after a baby and DH. I don't think I'd handle that well. The research that I've been looking at suggests (this is another take with a grain of salt, and I am talking with my doctor about) that Welltruben (sp?) and Zolfot (sp?) are two safer meds to take. I just know that personally I am not myself and need to do something to get rid of that. I don't have the concentration that I used to, I am wanting to sleep more, and my emotions have been, in some cases, "deadened" and in other cases I cry at things that are really not that sad...I mean, come on! crying at commercials and songs on the radio?? That's so not me.

I think the best thing you can do is monitor yourself and if you feel that you need some help, talk to someone. I am here for you (especially as I know what you're going through) as is everyone else on this site. IRL you should have someone(s) that can help as well, and your doctor is another good resource. I have also heard that vitamin B can help, and there is research that folic acid may actually help elevate depression symptoms as well.

This all depends on whether you had situational depression (someone very close to you died, going through a rough breakup, someone very close to you going through a difficult medical problem, etc), or, like me, you have a chemical imbalance in your brain chemistry. I was hoping that after years of being on meds that my brain may have just kept working properly on its own. It seems to be working better than it was, but still not perfect.

We're all here for you. We will get through this. And sometimes, talking about it is a great help.

Wow, what a monster post! Sorry.

Also want to add that in my internet research I have found many women that have managed fine with depression and pg and PPD, either with or without meds. As long you are doing ok and are comfortable with your decision you will fine. As will baby.

I also agree with FLJ (posted this after she did - I type too much! ) that many people don't realize that you can't "just snap out of it" - it's an illness that needs care and attention. Some people are lucky enough that after a few years on meds their brains sort themselves out, some people have to be on meds their entire life. It's an illness, but it can be managed.

 

[dakini]

I was diagnosed with 'major depression' 2 1/2 years ago.

I was put on AD's. When we first wanted to TTC I asked my Dr if I should come off AD's and she suggested I try and go down to 1/2 a tablet as in her view it was very rare to cause abnormalities in the baby from this particular AD and that it was better for ME to take that slight risk. That pregnancy was stressful enough and she didn't want to risk me lapsing again.

Can I ask what you were on? As I said in my monster post, I am thinking I have to go back on something and am looking at all the options and trying to get some information "safe" meds.

Thank you!

 

[FJL]

Sure hun.

I am on Cipramil. It was the first one I tried and was perfect for me. It depends on how you're feeling, I was feeling SO lethargic, low, just wanted to sleep all day etc. This AD feels like it gives you a big energy rush the first month or so. I found for me personally it gave me HEAPS of energy, lost my appetite therefore lost weight, and to start with made me a bit figity from all the excess energy. It all calmed down after a month though.

A friend of mine was put on the same one but she had to go off it, she has anxiety very badly and had constant butterflies in her stomach and bad agitation.

Its also one of the safest ones when preg, according to my Dr.

 

[dakini]

thanks. Like I said, I am looking into my options. I am sleeping too much (and wanting to sleep too much) so extra energy sounds great to me! I usually don't have the energy to keep my house up as i want (hence my office and the spare bedroom aren't organized yet after being in the house for over a year and a half!) and I just don't have the energy to do some things that I really want to do...but I also want to be fairly assured that what I am taking is safe for pg and bf'ing...nothing is guaranteed, but I figure if it's been around for years and there's no research to suggest problems, and my doctor says it's safe, I'll feel better.

Thanks again!

 

[FJL]

I was feeling the same hun, and Cipramil was a godsend to me!

I think all AD's come with risks during pregnancy, some higher or lower than others though.

When I do get preg, I will try cut down to 1/4 tablet, but for now, I think I need at least 1/2...nothing worse than relapsing.

 

[dakini]

I hear you. I was going off Paxil with my doctor's help to see if my chemicals had righted themselves (as sometimes happens) and they are certainly better, just not 100%. And while nothing is without risks, I am thinking the risks of total relapse, or even not being 100% are worse.

 

[lisa1014]

Anyone here suffer from depression and ttc?
Just want to know how its effecting any of you out there.

I have suffered from severe depression for 10 months now. Came off bc pill 5 and a half months ago and af been a little all over the place - unusual for me as in the recent past when not on bc i had regular 28 cycles. Not sure if the anti depressants i stopped taking have messed up my body.

Keep reading that being stressed or depressed can make it hard to conceive

Would love someone to talk to in same boat

I'm in the boat with ya! I've been suffering from depression for at least 6 years. Been on and off with medication. I was taking Effexor before TTC, which worked great, but I was unable to take it while TTC since it could hurt the baby. I was off Effexor for 5 weeks and desperately needed to get back on something. I now take Prozac since more is known about this drug and the effects it can have on a baby. Very low defects. If you are really depressed it may be hard for you to conceive and it can also be stressful on the baby. I'd recommend talking to a doctor to get on something...Just my opinion Hang in there huni! I can totally relate!

 

[clb1982]

Hey sorry for late responce.

Thanks to all you girls that have offered advice. Its nice to know im not alone with how i feel and there are alot of ladies out there that understand what im going through.

Good luck to you all and merry Christmas x

 

[leila]

I have suffered from mild depression for years and been on and off AD's. I am thinking on going on them again next year. I feel real despair at thought of never having a baby. I cant really talk to my partner he is one of those annoying 'why cant you snap out of it ' and life is what you make it etc....yes well ...what can i say to him? he has children with his ex and is not really keen on me having one. However I feel too old to start again with someone else while the clock is ticking loudly. So I envy very much those women with loving understanding husbands - my partner is far from that.

I think I will go to the dr - I think it will help me for the time being. I am on my own this xmas as I could not face meeting friends and family with children. Anyway I am pleased to know i am not the only one feeling this.
take care
leilaxx

 

[clb1982]

Hi Leila

Really sad to read your post and to hear your on your own this xmas
Sending to you.
I have a very understanding bf when it comes to my depression, but i have had a partner in the past who was really horrible to me about it and manipulated me as he knew i was vulnerable. So i can understand what your going through.
It must be really hard for you when your dh already has children. And i know what you mean about feeling despair over achieving a pg and being around others who have children, especially babies.

I feel quite bitter towards my brother and his gf as I am the oldest at 25 and both of them are very young, very immature for their age and have a 6 month old daughter. As much as i love my niece i feel like they have stolen my right to be the first sibling to make my parents grandparents . I know thats a little selfish but both of them have not got a clue, don't work and swear at the baby and argue in front of her all the time which i think is so wrong.

Its hard for me to understand that they are blessed with a beautiful child when quite frankly they don't deserve her. I feel really guilty for saying that

Anyway, listen to me ranting on
Im hear if you need to talk anytime and im sure there are plenty of girlies on here going through a similar situation.

I hope you have a good christmas and take care x

 

[Hope22]

Sorry I didn't see this thread before, hope this helps - sorry for being long winded

Depression runs in my family. Before I had my MC, which uncovered a serious condition requiring surgery, I was fine. Afterwards, my mood declined and my PMS became severe - instead of the usual grumpiness, now I was screaming, crying, wanting to hurt someone else or myself and had no idea why. The rest of the month I'd just be 'blue'. I went to my doctor, who diagnosed major depression, and told me she wanted to watch my mood carefully as it might get worse. Boy, was she ever right. Within weeks I was suicidal. She got me on meds right away, but watched me VERY closely as well (she's the only doctor I know who calls her patients at home just to see how they're doing!) and nearly hospitalized me. A few times I nearly took myself to the Center for Addiction and Mental Health after contemplating jumping in front of the train rather than getting on it to go home.

Every day when I took my pill, I told myself it would work eventually, and after about 12 weeks of feeling worse, then better, then worse again, I finally started feeling 'normal' again. Now I'm actually happy quite a bit of the time - I would honestly have settled for something much less, so it's quite a gift when I find myself smiling and laughing; I never thought I'd get here.

While I was recovering, I wasn't worried about messing my my cycle or chances of conceiving, because as far as I knew my condition and the surgery had finished off any chance I ever had of getting pregnant. After many scans and specialist appointments, I was told that's not the case, and while I'll always be considered high-risk and will very likely be required to have a C-section and possibly be put on bed rest for part of my pregnancy, there's no reason we can't TTC.

Once I knew that, I started worrying. I'm already on 200g Tegretol 3x daily (I'm epileptic) which is known to cause spinal defects (I take 4mg of folic acid every day to prevent this), and now I'm on 40mg of Celexa as well. My doc assures me it's not dangerous - what she told me was when considering meds during pregnancy, doctors weigh the benefits and the risks. If the benefits outweigh the risks, it's worth taking. In my case, having a grand mal seizure is more dangerous to a fetus than the 1% chance of spinal defects from Tegretol, and likewise, any problems that Celexa might cause are far offset by the potential of self-harm or even suicide that I might face without it.

My advice is to treat the depression and not worry about anything else right now; the best thing you can do for your child or potential child is be healthy yourself. Focus on you, get better, and worry about TTC when you're ready.

You said you stopped taking the AD - was that on a doctor's advice, or on your own? If you're still depressed, I think it's important to concentrate on that first.