Depressed :(

[Angel022605]

DH and I are driving around he says "I have a question". Me: ok. DH:Are we too old to have kids? We're gonna be 32 and we'll be 60 by the time they're grown. It seems like a lot of people have kids at a younger age. Me: No we're not too old to have kids. You make me depressed like you wanna stop trying for one. DH: No. I just don't wanna be too old to have kids. Me: Remember the nurse practioner I worked for? Well she was pregnant with her first child at 32 if that makes you feel better.....End convo......We just now decided to start trying for our first. He'll be 32 in March and I'll be 32 in July. I'm so depressed. I wanna know how many of you ladies had your first child at or after 32 and what supprt/advice can you give me? I'm looking for positive thoughts.

Thanks

 

[suspectpink]

I can promise you 32 is NOT old I have been through both ! I was pregnant with my first son at 17... 18 when I gave birth 21 with my second son , 31 with my 3rd son and I'll be 36 when this little one is born personally now I'm older I have so much more to patience , more life experience ect .... I enjoyed the whole experience with my 3rd son more I guess because I was so much more relaxed & "wise" 😂 I think.yoir both at a perfect age to have your 1st child xxxxx

 

[MoBaby]

First kid at 32!! 32 is not old. A lot of couples aren't even trying until their 30s now. It's the new norm.

 

[Rhiannon137]

Pregnant with my first at 35, pregnant with this one at 37. I was still too scared to commit to the idea of parenthood at the tender young age of 32!

 

[rebeccalouise]

32 is not old! My auntie had her first at 40, her second at 42! She's more than happy, and so are her kids.

 

[ButterCup17]

First at 32, this one I will be 35 when it's born. I do wish I was younger, but I didn't meet oh til I was like 28, so by the time we got married and setteled and started trying, that's just the way it went. Not much I can do about it now lol personally I would probably try for a 3Rd if I were younger, but we are stopping after this one.

 

[marmoset]

My mom had her kids at 35, 37 and 40! (And the last one was a surprise!). That sounds like it was a tough convo to have, I'm sorry you're feeling so down. It sounds like your DH is thinking ahead about being there for your kids as they grow older... probably coming from a place of wanting everything to be perfect for them. I hope you're able to talk through it together and come out feeling excited about parenting as the next stage of your lives and relationship. Much love!

 

[Mrs. MB]

I'm 31, will give birth a month before my 32 birthday. My boss had her girls at 40 and 42. My co worker had her perfect baby girl at 45. You're by no means old!

 

[babybambi]

Nope, I think it's the best decision we made to wait. It meant we were more stable financially and as a couple (together 14 years) and we'd had amazing holidays before trying. I was 31 but had my son at 32, I'm now 36 and due my second.

 

[JJay]

We also decided at 32 we were ready for children. We met when I was 28, engaged at 32, married at 33 then pregnant a few months later. DD arrived when I was 34. I had DS at 36 and now pregnant with our final baby at 39. Sometimes I wish I was a bit younger then I might have squeezed in a fourth and also had a bit more energy, like hangovers and everything it gets a little harder as you're older! But mostly I wouldn't change a thing. I wasn't ready earlier and had a fabulous time, living in different cities, having lots of fun, amazing holidays and good jobs. Most of my friends the same age had babies around the same time as me. I think it's pretty normal these days to have babies in your 30s and 40s. 32 is not old at all and having a baby is the most amazing and wonderful thing you'll do. Enjoy X

 

[babyjan]

32 is not old at all! x

 

[wildworld]

Could he be worried he won't make a good/cool dad at his age? He's not even 32 yet, he has plenty of time. My OH is 37, I'm 27 and we've just found out we're having a baby... he can't wait to be a dad! Your DH should enjoy it when it happens, every minute of it. Age doesn't matter once your child is loved and cared for.

good luck with your next cycle!

 

[lesondemavie]

We're just now expecting our first. I will be 34 and DH 33 when this child is born. My parents had me when they were 30 and 31. They're in their mid-60s now and our relationships are great. My dad even runs 5ks with me a few times a year. These days 60 isn't that old! My youngest brother is about a decade younger than me, which means my parents had him at 40. He's in his early 20s and getting out on his own. I'm the eldest of 4 and we were all out on our own by early to mid 20s and it's not like they were chasing us around like toddlers before that. By 60 you'll probably be expecting your first grandkids and how perfect is that

Maybe try to empathize and listen and understand better his concerns about being 60 when your kids are 30? I can say it's worked out fabulously for my family, but clearly he's having some thoughts/feelings about it that he needs to work through and to do that he might need someone to just listen.

 

[Angel022605]

Could he be worried he won't make a good/cool dad at his age? He's not even 32 yet, he has plenty of time. My OH is 37, I'm 27 and we've just found out we're having a baby... he can't wait to be a dad! Your DH should enjoy it when it happens, every minute of it. Age doesn't matter once your child is loved and cared for.

good luck with your next cycle!

He doesn't want to be in his 60s when his child turns 18

 

[lesondemavie]

He doesn't want to be in his 60s when his child turns 18

Well then now's the time! Is he just doing the math wrong? 32+18=50...he'll still have a good decade before 60

 

[Scout]

If you have a child now, he'll only be around 50. Back to your questions, I was 46 when I gave birth to my daughter. I do wish I had been younger, and when I say that I mean around 36 instead, but it is what it is. I was told I wouldn't have kids, had a few miscarriages, and then a huge surprise when I thought I was going thru menopause. I do feel bad sometimes, like when I think about my daughter losing me to old age (hopefully that'll be what kills me ) she'll be younger than I am now and I can't imagine life without my mom. But I have friends who've already lost their moms to other things and they're still happy and enjoying life, so I try to let that worry go.

You can't really spend too much time worrying about what could be, especially 18 years down the road, or you'll miss all the wonderful things going on in the present. And at 50, which is when your child would be 18, he'll still be a relatively young man. I forget I'm almost 50 LOL I work out and ride bikes and still do all the things I did when I was younger. It's funny bc when you are young you pick an age and think people of that age are sooo old, but then the closer you get to that age, you realize that it's just a number and it doesn't feel nearly as old as you had imagined all those years ago. Sorry I'm rambling and all over the place. I just think you guys are the perfect age to start your family. A lot of people are waiting until their 30's to start because they feel more secure. Good luck!