Depressed

[AlyssaDeVaul]

My boyfriend gets upset with how sick I've been lately.
I haven't felt good at all and I'm 10 weeks. But my boyfriend gets upset and mad that I never want to do anything and I always have him cooped up in the house because he can't drive and I can.
He says he's tired of me being sick all the time and not feeling good all the time and that I only do what I want to do and I'm not sexual enough because I haven't felt good at all. It's my first pregnancy and it's all so new to me.
This has been making me really depressed and I'm not sure what to do. I try and drive him around and do what will make him happy but it seems my efforts go unnoticed.

 

[Beccaboop]

I'm sorry your bf is being like that! Pregnancy sickness is horrible and really makes you feel like doing nothing!
He should not be making you feel bad when you already feel unwell! It's not like you are doing it on purpose!

I've been really sick and unable to do anything or go anywhere! Including taking our son to playschool and my husband hasn't moaned at all!
He's takes time out of work (I know most people can't do this) to take him to playschool, does all the cooking, cleaning and shopping and takes care of me when I'm vomiting all the time and need to go to the doctors to try yet another medication!

I know my situation is different as I have severe sickness but I really think you need to have a talk to your boyfriend as he is not being fair!
Dont feel depressed! You've done nothing wrong!

 

[second.time]

It's really unfair and inappropriate for your boyfriend to be causing you guilt over something that's outside your control. This is his baby too, and he's equally responsible for the pregnancy. It's just that you're the one who ends up physically suffering. He needs to be understanding about that. If he can't drive, that's really on him (unless he has a legitimate reason that driving is difficult?). When you rely on someone else, you have to gracefully accept that sometimes their needs come ahead of yours. And I don't know many women who feel like being romantic during the queasiness and exhaustion of the first trimester.

It's not OK that you're having to deal with guilt and depression on top of feeling sick. Can you talk to him and explain that this is totally outside your control? Maybe there are some articles on morning sickness that could help him understand what a toll it takes on the mother. Can he use ride-sharing programs or a taxi or friends to get around? He really needs to be looking for ways to make your life a little easier, not creating more stress in your life.

 

[DobbyForever]

From what I hear it gets better in second tri but it does come back third tri. I think what Second said is so true.

And honestly, why can't he drive? With a baby, what if there's an emergency and you can't drive for whatever reason? Because either A- he doesn't have a licensed and as an adult you just take the test and boom license B- if he lost his license that's on him not you

 

[CatchBabyDust]

i'm sorry to hear that about your boyfriend.. He really doesnt know what it it's like to have morning sickness!! It is horrible and difficult to function let alone drive or go out.. Ofcourse you can do what you want.. you are growing life inside of you! What a beautiful miracle !! It's not easy either!! I havent gotten my morning sickness this pregnancy yet but it feels around the corner! He should really educate himself.. no offence to him..but seriously he shouldnt be mad at anything happening with u!! u can't control anything..

 

[hannahp]

First of all congrats on your pregnancy! I am so sorry to hear you are feeling sad not only because of the sickness, but also because of lack of support. I just finished a bout of first trimester morning sickness myself, so I understand your pain! Try not to get down from his remarks as he is not understanding your discomfort. This is not your fault, and you are a soldier for even trying to drive him around while feeling like this. However, first priority right now is baby, so do what you have to, to feel less stress and more ease right now. I hope he comes around and understands your pain.