Desperately Seeking Solace

[mannawr]

I could really use some extra hope if anyone has any to spare. We have been trying to conceive for almost 2 ½ years – only one natural CP after HSG. We are in the midst of our 3rd round of IVF after 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs and it isn’t looking good. In fact, these are the worst results yet. Out of 12 eggs retrieved, only 7 were viable AND of those, ONLY 3 fertilized ! In my first IVF we had only 7 eggs retrieved, but all were mature and all fertilized. We were only able to transfer one so-so embie out of it and got a BFN. The second IVF we had 14 eggs retrieved, 11 were mature and 8 fertilized. That time we got 2 good embies and still a BFN.

I am heartbroken because we switched to a better clinic this round and tried a new protocol (estrogen priming) and things got even worse. Given that so few of our embies typically make it to day 5, I have very little hope that we will have anything to transfer; especially since we are doing PGD (for the first time) on any that do survive and they would need to make it through a thaw and a FET.

Of course, we are in the unexplained infertility boat. DH’s (37) sperm is good and nothing seems out of whack with me (37).

I could really use some success stories from anyone in a similar situation. Or even some kind words of encouragement would be so appreciated!

 

[adr75050]

Im not in your boat, but more likely floating next to you. I have done 4 IVF and 4 FET. With only one BFP which we got after 4 IVF, and on my 3rd FET. We never really had many eggs that made it to day 5. We have used all our frozen embryos and have nothing left. Any future IVf we have to do PGD, which we have never done before. I fear that after that testing there wont be any emrbyos left to choose from. Im 6dpt from an 4BC and 3CC FET. I tested this mornign with a negative and will test again sat and sun. Im struggling with all this. Unfortunately my BFP in 1/2015 ended with my daughter, Adalynn born sleeping 9/25/15. She was 7lbs and 4 oz of perfection. She simply became tangled in her cord 3 days before my c-section. I wish I could give you more hope, but its a journey I find myself still on also.

 

[oneof14]

Im sorry you are going through this. After 4 failed IUI's and 2 failed IVF's Ive lost all hope as well. We did have success with our 3rd IVF and it wasn't our best retrieval either. Its not over until its over. Try and relax and wait to see the outcome of this IVF. I know its so very hard to be positive after all this. I am praying for you!

Adr, I am so so sorry to hear about Adalynn, such a heartbreaking story.

 

[mannawr]

Adr, I am so sorry for your loss - I can only imagine what you are going through. It certainly puts things into perspective for me. I wish you luck in continuing your journey.

oneof14, thank you so much for your post. Every success story I read helps me keep the faith. We just decided that if this round doesn't work, that we are going to try IVF #4, so I feel a little relief knowing that we have somewhere to go from here.

 

[oneof14]

It always help to have a plan, I agree. Hoping you dont need it!

 

[tulip girl]

I had a similar number to you. 8 eggs. 7 mature. Only 3 fertilised. We put the best 2 back in and one of those is now almost 3 years old and the apple of my eye! I know it's disheartening, especially when you hear of bumper crops from other ladies, but I'm sure you have a golden egg there! I had a 2 day transfer as my consultant suggested we get them safely back inside their mummy for the next 9m ;-)

 

[MoBaby]

For my son we had 3 full cycles with 3 FETs as well so 6 transfers total. We finally had some frosties after round 3 but it took everything to get my sticky bfp (I had 2 mcs and 2 chemicals)

For the one I'm preggo with now we did a full cycle and 3 FETs (4 transfers) which resulted in 2 miscarriages and 2 cps. Then We changed clinics. Similar protocol but it was a little different. (Microdose lupron flare but meds started sooner and higher doses). We did 1 ivf cycle and it was the worst cycle ever! 22 eggs retrieved. Only 8 mature then they were able to mature 4 more but unfortunately only 6 fertilized. Never had this happen before so there was so medication/monitoring issue. We were slated to do pgs and freeze all. Well day 5 I had just one really good embryo, 1 okay embryo and 1 that probably wouldn't make it. None were at the level to biopsy so they had me come in to transfer. The one that was good had actually hatched and was perfect by transfer time and the others were still so so. We transferred all 3 with little hopes. And it took! I'm over 14 wks now, after a horrible horrible cycle and nothing going as planned. So all in all the change ended up being just what we needed although the cycle was screwy it's what worked. good luck!

 

[mannawr]

Thank you, tulip girl! That is great to hear!

MoBaby, that is very interesting information. I didn't realize that there was a backup plan and you could do a fresh transfer if a PGD biopsy isn't an option! I am going to check with my clinic and see if we can explore that option. Seems awful to discard a good embryo just because you can't biopsy it. Much appreciated!

 

[MoBaby]

Yes I went ahead and started progesterone and estrogen patches after er just in case when we got the results back so I would be ready. I told the clinic I would not waste any embryos so all 3 needed to be transferred back. One stuck

 

[oneof14]

Hey, checking in for an update!

 

[star25]

Hi, my friend has just got her bfp and had 3 eggs retrieved, by day 2 only 1 was surviving so it was transferred on day 2, 5dpt she had heavy bleeding for 4 days and still her little fighter is going strong and they've just had their 7 week scan and seen the heartbeat
Don't give up hope xx

 

[tinadecember]

Hi,

I can't give you any hope of IVF working because we are in the same boat, floating along and desperately hoping for that BFP.

I love reading stories from ladies who it has eventually worked for, it gives me that glimmer of hope that this can work if you stick at it.

We are just about to start our 2nd fresh cycle as soon as my period arrives after 1 fresh cycle failure and 1 FET that resulted in a BFN too.
Our first fresh cycle we got 8 eggs, 7 fertilised and 2 made it to day 5. My consultant was so hopeful in the beginning because I am still relatively young (28) and thought that we would get more eggs. This time around my meds have been increased in the hope of getting more eggs and better quality eggs.

Sending you big hugs xx

 

[mannawr]

oneof14 - Thanks for checking in! I wanted to wait until I received the results today before responding. My clinic just called and 2 embryos made it to biopsy and freeze. They aren't the greatest quality (4BC and 5BD), but at least they made it! Now we wait 20 days for the results of the PGD - so now I can stress over whether they are chromosomally normal for three weeks . The journey continues!

 

[oneof14]

That great! Fingers crossed, its all a game of waiting! Try to do something to distract yourself. If you don't mind me asking, what clinic did you go to?

 

[mannawr]

I just switched from CWRC (Columbia) to RMA-NY (Westside). So far, the overall patient experience and ease of communication has been significantly better. My only complaint is that they may be a tad rigid in their approach (i.e., no 3-day ET (only 5-day) and only SET). Of course, if I end up with healthy baby out of all of this, I will sing their praises to anyone who will listen!

 

[oneof14]

Ive heard great things about RMA and they do have a great success ratio. I had 2 IVF's at a clinic in Brooklyn before i moved on, sometimes, the difference in lab makes the success. Good luck and please keep us posted.

 

[mannawr]

Well, not so great news. Neither of the two embryos that were sent off for genetic testing came back chromosomally normal - both had trisomy.

So at least now we know that the problem is most definitely my old eggs. The doc seems to think there is no reason why we would not be successful on the next round, since basically we are playing a numbers game at this point. We are trying a microflare protocol this time. Who knows, maybe that will be the secret handshake.

Time will tell! In the meantime, I just keep repeating this quote in my head, "'Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

 

[oneof14]

Im so sorry to hear about the embies, but I do agree, you are playing a numbers game. My doc at my clinic told me that at my age at the time, 1 in every 6 embies will be normal. Praying you have success in the next round.

 

[BabyDancing13]

Sorry about your PGD results. I really do think it is a game of chance and numbers. I have done x3 fresh IVF and about to move onto my 3rd FET. If these 8 frozen day 3 embryos do not work, we are ready to consider donor eggs/sperm/embryos... whatever it takes. I wish you all luck on your journeys. Keep the faith x