DH keeps changing his mind?

[JDsBaby]

Hi ladies,

Just need to vent a little and see if anyone of you have experienced this with your DH and how you handle it.

After we made the decision to ttc and have been trying for a only 2 months my DH seems to swaying on ttcing. He makes comments about needing to stop finishing inside me (sorry if tmi) and finances. I try to talk to him and ask if he has changed his mind and he says no but then asks me if I'm sure I really want to have a baby. Then he will say well if it happens it happens, then he says he won't be happy til he sees a BFP I'm so confused

Have any of your SOs gone back and forth? If so how did you or do you handle it?

 

[ms sunshine]

yeah ive been through it. there will be a reason why and one hes not saying most probably. my hubby hates talking about it hates temping and opks, thinks its all clinical. so i hide my opks and try and keep everything natural. theres a lot of pressure with trying and my hubby wont even talk about it without a look of dread on his face. although he is now happy ttc, we dont call it ttc and i dont involve him in anything and i dont dtd more around o to make it obvious i am o'ing he wants no idea as to when i am o'ing. i think most guys just dont want to know the ins and outs, and when it doesnt work they blame themselves so the less pressure the better. my hubby even used it in arguments but since i cut him out of the ttc process so its more natural for him all is good. that might not work for you but it certainly worked for me and i have read on here it has happened to them and doing the same helps. with him mentioning money sounds like he wants to but its the practical side to but really everything just works out. you buy stuff while you are pregnant even stock up on creams and wipes and its not that expensive its just planning. i stockpilled baby soap and cream that much for my son i still have some left and hes 2 lol

 

[ramibear]

My DH has swayed a little too over the year we have been trying. I make a lot more money than DH and he wants to make sure that I can take as much time off as possible if we are lucky enough to conceive. He finally accepted a manager position and this seems to have helped him relax a bit. He is also concerned that he won't be a good dad because his own childhood was horrible and didn't grow up in a loving environment like I did. Maybe your DH has the same insecurities?
Also, I think our DH's feel our stress and maybe he is just trying to take some of the pressure off of you and doesn't realize the mixed messages. Hopefully he will open up to you and tell you what he is really feeling. Best of luck to you both.

 

[5Miracles]

and when it doesnt work they blame themselves

MAN--is this ever true!!! My DH still tells me he is "sorry" at times--and I'm like, "love-of-my-life, you have nothing to feel sorry about!!!"

Mine has been back and forth too...his heart says H*LL YES!!!--his mind says WHAT ABOUT THIS/THAT/THE OTHER?!?!? He is very much an organized, planning sort of man--and with a new baby, many plans kinda go out the window--but for a very good reason .

I don't know if he is changing his mind so much as he's overthinking things, which he (and many people) tend to do...sometimes I get freaked myself, saying "Nope, how things are now is safe, already understood, already known--so why rock that boat?"....only for my heart to say that it will be forever looking for that family member that still feels like is missing...I say once a daddy holds his new child in his arms, much of the what if's will go away because of the joy...just my $0.02...

 

[iluvcocopops]

Yip my hubby is the same. One minute he is chilled and talks about babies, the next he's moaning about money. I'm trying not to put too much pressure on him at the mo because I'm only off the pill 4 months, so it's still early days, but it does do my head in a bit.