DH making me feel guilty about DD falling of bed

[ElizabethK_]

So our DD fell off our bed yesterday. She just learned to roll over, but couldn't do it so well, so I left her on our bed for one second while I went to get her a nappy to change her. DH was out at the time so I was alone with DD.

I was only gone for a few seconds when I heard a thump and DD crying. I ran in and saw her tummy down on the floor crying. I picked her up immediately and checked her for cuts, bruises, bumps, breaks anything, she seemed fine. I calmed her down and then we cuddled for a little while and after that she was her normal self. She ate, had a nice nap, woke up and played as usual. It scared the poop out of me and I feel so bad that it happened. i have always been so careful and never left her alone anywhere, but that day she was playing happily on our bed, so I thought I'd ran in fast... Guess that's all it needed!

I feel bad and guilty already as it is, so when I told DH he just looked at me angrily and never said a word after that. I asked him if he was ok and to talk to me about it, but he just won't say a word to me and whenever I try to talk to him about it he chooses not to respond.

It feels like he's doing this to punish me! I feel so awful already, so to have him respond this way is only making it worse....

 

[LoraLoo]

He's being ridiculous. There'll come a time when Lo has a bump or accident in his care- I wonder how he will feel then?

 

[AP]

It can happen hun - could have easily happened to him. He's being unfair. I can guarantee you're gonna have a lot of replies saying it's happened to them too - and me!
I felt awful, but these wee babies are resilient!

 

[MindUtopia]

I agree, he's being ridiculous. These things happen. Now if your LO fell out of bed because you were downstairs drinking whiskey and smoking a crack pipe and too out of it to remember where you left her, then yes, that would be irresponsible and I'd be angry if my husband did something that irresponsible and stupid. But babies fall off things. It happens to everyone. My daughter did exactly the same thing when she was 7 months old. We were staying in a hotel getting ready for a friend's wedding. I set her down in the middle of a double bed. She rolled at 3 months, but had rarely done it anymore since about 5 months. She was literally 4 feet from the edge of the bed. I turned my back for 3 seconds to reach for the hairdryer on the shelf behind me and in those 3 seconds she somehow propelled herself across the bed and off onto the floor. It happens. My husband fell down an entire flight of stairs carrying her when she was about a week old. We've accidentally opened the car door and bashed her in the forehead and gave her a huge lump in the middle of her forehead. She's fallen down and fallen off all sorts of things. Accidents happen. And they happens to everyone eventually. Your husband will do the same eventually too. Assuming it was an accident (not that you were downstairs smoking crack ), your husband is being silly and immature for taking it all this personally.

 

[ElizabethK_]

I agree, he's being ridiculous. These things happen. Now if your LO fell out of bed because you were downstairs drinking whiskey and smoking a crack pipe and too out of it to remember where you left her, then yes, that would be irresponsible and I'd be angry if my husband did something that irresponsible and stupid. But babies fall off things. It happens to everyone. My daughter did exactly the same thing when she was 7 months old. We were staying in a hotel getting ready for a friend's wedding. I set her down in the middle of a double bed. She rolled at 3 months, but had rarely done it anymore since about 5 months. She was literally 4 feet from the edge of the bed. I turned my back for 3 seconds to reach for the hairdryer on the shelf behind me and in those 3 seconds she somehow propelled herself across the bed and off onto the floor. It happens. My husband fell down an entire flight of stairs carrying her when she was about a week old. We've accidentally opened the car door and bashed her in the forehead and gave her a huge lump in the middle of her forehead. She's fallen down and fallen off all sorts of things. Accidents happen. And they happens to everyone eventually. Your husband will do the same eventually too. Assuming it was an accident (not that you were downstairs smoking crack ), your husband is being silly and immature for taking it all this personally.

Thank you all for your replies you made me feel a little better! And especially MindUtopia! That's what must have happened with DD. She was in the middle of our bed! I knew accidents could and might happen but it was scary seeing her on the floor crying.

I do hope this guilt trip DH is putting me on will end though... I am amazed he even has the nerve to be angry at me since I am the one taking care of her 24-7...

 

[MrsPear]

These things happen and they will happen to your partner too. Joni fell off the sofa once, and I didn't even turn round straight away because I assumed it was something else falling over (I'd just put a load of stuff down there). Two seconds later I heard a huge scream and I realised it was her! I think he probably doesn't realise how quickly these things happen, and that they are pretty much inevitable. xx

 

[Yo_Yo]

It could have just of easily been him in your shoes. He needs to stop being silly now!

You don't need to be made to feel any worse than you already do.

Between my three kids, both of us have managed to have little accidents like this by the way.

 

[YoshiPikachu]

Joseph fell out of my bed on Saturday. Scared the crap out of me!

 

[amelia26]

He's being really ott. It always happens once. My son fell off the bed once too. After that I knew up couldn't leave him there. But believe me, there will be more accidents and knocks, on his watch and yours.

 

[staralfur]

You'd have a really hard time finding someone whose baby HASN'T fallen off of something. The exact same thing happened to my LO - she had rolled maybe twice in her life, with great effort, and I left her in the middle of the bed... and she managed to go right off the edge. I heard a bang and assumed it was my noisy upstairs neighbour. Then my LO started crying right after and I was so mad that my neighbour woke her up... walked into the room and she's on the floor. I actually thought it would have been impossible for her do that at the time.

Tell your husband to get over it unless he wants you to make him feel like crap the first time he inevitably has something not perfect happen to your LO in his care.

 

[Zeri]

My DD and DS have both had their share of falls. DH sometimes gets on his high horse and says things like, "Oh, that would never happen with me!" I always say, "I take care of them 99% of the time...so 99% of there falls would be with me. If you took care of them 24/7 like I did, the same thing would happen to you too!". Your DH needs to stop with the guilt trip. You're already doing most of the care, you don't need to feel bad on top of everything else.

 

[ElizabethK_]

Thank you everyone! At least you've made me feel better! And at least DD is ok!