mkmum
mum to oscar and an angel
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2008
- Messages
- 106
- Reaction score
- 0
i was wondering if i should take my son to my first proper booked scan. well, i did take my son with me to my scan yesterday, oh how i regret it. he had to sit there and instead of seeing his new sister or brother, had to listen to the sonographer tell me " im very sorry.blah blah blah" there was no heartbeat . he had to sit and watch me fight back tears for 3!!!! hrs while they pissed about telling me whats gonna happen next.have ERPC booked for thursday but have to have an app with the bloke thats gonna knock me out, (cant be arsed to spell it) cause i have bad heart palpatations so they gotta asses me before they do it. got home and couldnt face going indoors (living with mil) so OH asked if i wanna go see my mum in kent, so off we went, just as we got here i went to tiolet and i have already started bleeding!!!! isnt the mind an amazing thing???!!! LO obviously had gone just after last scan, but now i know it has gone its like my body is saying to me... look, now you know you can accept it, so i just gonna go ahead and let go. i really really hope its just my cervix being irritated by the internal scan and not the "start". i really dont think i could cope with the pain, i have heard its very very painful, and how do i cope with the amount of it!?!?! . its just not fair!!! oscar has been so good, he keeps coming up to me and kissing me and stroking me, i know he means well, but all he can think of to say is , well atleast you wont have to get up in the night!! lol, he is 7 btw!! also this is only the second time i have seen OH cry. im lost and broken hearted.