Did you / Will you let your toddler visit if in for a couple of nights??

[Rickles]

I'm having a c-section this time and I've been told I'll probably be in for 2 nights. Our plan is for DD to attend nursery as usual and OH will do the bedtime routine etc. She will be 2y and 4 months when baby arrives.

It will kill me not to see her, but I am worried that if she comes to hospital and then has to leave without me she will find that really traumatic (we're very close - her Daddy travels quite a bit with work). So I am thinking she shouldn't come in... but just be told I'm away getting the baby or similar.

My Mum says I'm over-thinking it, she'll be fine and it's better she sees me for an hour or so rather than not - what did / will you all do??

 

[Dinah93]

DD will definately be coming to see me. Last time I was in for 6 days before birth and 11 after as my blood pressure was out of control and they struggled to get it back under control after birth, and I had to wait until my platelets had bounced back so they knew I'd clot okay. It is likely I'll need another c-section although I'm a VBAC hopeful.

I'm a SAHM and while DD is happy to go out with daddy for an afternoon, or to stay at nanas for the night, she does as for me often, and after an overnight stay she is keen to see me again and starts asking where I am. For my DD having 2+ days away from me would be a lot worse than having to leave again after a visit, she would worry where I'd gone and why she couldn't see me. She's a little older than your DD though and she probably has more understanding of the concept of time and she can be easily lead with the idea of 'lets go see grandad now' or 'shall we go home to read your favourite books now?' Although she's 2 years 2 months now so less than your DD will be when you deliver.

 

[Hoping4Four]

My oldest visited me when I had my second daughter. She'd just turned 2 and she was fine, she wasn't too upset leaving me. I only needed to stay in 24 hours so I didn't have to spend too much time away from her and it turned out great.

With my son I had to stay in 6 days due to him needing IV antibiotics The girls (4 and 2 at the time) visited me a couple of times but not every day. I missed them so much!! Again, they were fine leaving me. I was much more upset! Lol.

 

[Sour_Skittle]

My 2 year old visited me when my second was born and we are also extremely close. She was just so happy to see me and he new baby and I reassured her mommy and baby would be home very soon to play. She wasn't too upset when she left. I think it would be best she get to come see you. I think it would be more traumatic not to let her see you than to let her see you. Iykwim.

 

[Maybe1daysoon]

I want ds there as much as possible! Before birth and after. He will 2 years 6 months when baby girl makes her arrival.

 

[DocMcStuffins]

100% they'll both come into see me and baby. My eldest came into visit when I had my c section and she was 19 months old at the time. She was totally fine. She loved being part of meeting her new baby sister.

I wouldn't dream of not including them in those first precious few days. I want them to be involved right from the start and know they aren't being pushed out or that it's mummy and baby and daddy and them.

It didn't affect her routine at all. My oh would bring her in early then my parents and his parents would come in later on and they'd take her home in time for tea and bed so that oh could stay a bit later with me. She loved it, she got to stay at grandmas or grandma would take her back to ours, but she loved it and got all excited when she knew we were coming home.

This time my girls will be 4 years 3 months and 2 years 8 months.

X

 

[caitlyn2009]

My little girl will definitely be coming to see us. I want her to be the first visitor and I want her there during the day while I am there. I plan on making her up an activity box and letting her spend the day with mommy daddy and baby. She will then go home with her grandma for the night.

 

[Rosered52]

I hadn't given this much thought, yet, good question. Mine will be a c-section (as was my last), so the usual hospital stay would be 2-3 nights. With my first, my husband stayed with me at the hospital to help care for the baby (day and night), as they allow that here. My daughter will probably stay home with my parents most of the time, but I would expect that she'll come in to visit with them for a few stretches, depending on how into it she seems. She very comfortable staying with my folks, so I doubt it will be a traumatic experience for her to be with them for the duration.

Best of luck finding the right solution for your family!

 

[shmunster]

My son is a bit older, 4.5 but I will definitely have him visit us lots, better they are upset for 10 minutes having to leave and go home, than wondering for days where you are and if you are coming back

I don't want to announce to anyone else until my son has come in and met the baby, so hopefully time wise we can make that work too (well apart from my family who will be looking after him lol!)

 

[bumpbear]

I hadn't even contemplated the idea of LO not coming to see me (she will be 2.5 when baby comes). I'm a stay at home mum too and up until last week, the most amount of time we'd spent apart from each other was 4 hours. I went out for a girl's day last weekend and now the longest stretch has been 14 hours! I couldn't imagine just being out if he picture for a few days then returning with a baby- that would be more confusing for her than seeing where mummy is. Plus, I can't wait for her to meet her little brother when he's just a few hours old. Will be amazing for the newly formed four of us.

 

[Jinga]

My son is no longer a toddler, but we have always planned on him visiting me in the hospital each day. I can't imagine not seeing him! We've never spent a day apart. I'm sure he won't be happy about me staying there, but I think he'd be more upset not seeing me for days.

 

[Rickles]

Thanks ladies!!!

Having read all your comments we'll bring her in - and yes I hadn't thought about the bonding with her brother or sister but hopefully Daddy can bring her in on her own and they can have some time chatting (exchanging gifts ). xx

 

[EmzyJA]

My daughter will be coming in to see me. My mum will be staying with us and will be looking after her. She doesn't see her much as she loves abroad but they have a very strong bond and she loves her so I think having her here will help my daughter as it'll be a novelty having nana here. Also we're literally 10 mins walking distance from the hospital so not far for her to come in and see us. I only stayed in hospital last time for about 8 hours after giving birth. I was desperate to get home after I'd been in for days with a long induction. Hoping I won't have to stay in long this time, but it's a different hospital and you never know what will happen.

 

[Buttercup84]

Dd will definitely be coming in to visit if I stay overnight, never even occurred to me to do otherwise.

 

[Unexpected212]

I was in 2 nights last time. I want my DS to meet the baby as soon as possible so I either wanna get discharged quickly or to have him visit as soon as possible lol.

 

[MommyCandice]

You ultimately have to decide what you feel is best for lo. I have had 2 csections and am having another. Last time my son was only 13.5 months and I made sure that he would he up there when I came out of recovery and then he was up there everyday for a few hours and then stayed with my mom and he was quite alright leaving with nanny. My son is starting school a couple weeks before baby comes so if I manage to get a csection in the morning like I would like then if he is in school he will he coming home at lunch and coming up with his sister and nana and papa for the afternoon if not in school then as soon as possible to spend as much time with me and baby. They wont have a problem leaving it will he more me. The kids will be up as much as possible when I am there and probably lots during day as nana and papa wilk be up since daddy is going back to work the next day while I am still in hospital. This time my son will he almost 4.5 and my daughter will be 3 but I want them to have that bonding time and to feel like a part of whats going on

 

[shinona]

Definitely having my kids come to visit me and new baby in the hospital. I wanted ds to be the first to meet his sister but he got chicken pox the day before she was born and was banned from the hospital. My parents brought him outside so I could wave to him and show him his sister through the window. He was a bit upset but only because he couldn't hug me. Poor wee guy x

 

[JessdueJan]

My eldest was 2 years 10 months when dS2 was born and he came in to visit me the first day at morning and evening visiting hours as he was with my mum and dad so they brought him when they came. He was really pleased to be there and he was more upset about leaving his new brother than leaving me when he had to go. I could hear him saying 'I just love him so much' as he was walking down the corridor the day I was coming home, he came in with DH at 10ish and stayed for the few hours until we left. xx

 

[babylove x]

Absolutely. That, to us, is a huge memory. Something we will all remember closely and it will mean alot, I couldnt imagine dd not coming to meet her new brother in the hospital probably the most important relat8ve !!!! Will help immensely with bonding as well. Xx I say bring lo I dont think youll regret it.

 

[Pixie19]

I'm hoping to have a home birth so i wont have to be away from LO while i give birth, obviously anything can happen so i have considered the possibility of having to go to hospital and in that case i will have LO to visit as soon as he can, i want him to be the first person other than me and OH to meet his little sister.
I had a hospital stay in my first trimester (hyperemesis) and OH brought LO in to see me and they stayed for an hour or two